#1


Once they are off the field, these soccer geniuses are vulnerable to blunders. Often their remarks are funny, and they end up saying something they really didn’t mean. Here are some funny footballer quotes.


“Sometimes in football you have to score goals.” - Thierry Henry
Ok, so football is about scoring goals! Thanks for enlightening us Henry. But why only sometimes?


“We lost because we didn’t win.” - Ronaldo
Well, that was the most wonderful explanation someone has ever said. So simple and straight.


“There is no in between - you are either good or bad. We were in between.” Gary Linekar
Can anyone solve this fuzzy logic of Linekar? Footballers are real philosophers who talk in abstract ways which no one can explain.


“Chile have three options - they could win or they could lose” - Kevin Keegan
Excuse me Keegan, what about the third option? Here goes another one:
“You’re not just getting international football, you’re getting world football”
For Keegan, something that’s international doesn’t cover the entire world.


Bulgaria’s Hristo Stoichkov - the golden boot winner of 1994 WC, is remembered for his famous quote following Bulgaria’s victory : “Now I know for sure that God is Bulgarian.”
When Bulgaria lost to Italy, he modified it further: “God is still Bulgarian but the referee was French.”
This is one reason why we all love Stoichkov (Image courtesy: AFP)


“But if I wasn’t playing, I would drink Saturdays, then Sunday, then Monday. Then I would try and train and it was no good, then have another drink just to pass the day away” - Paul Gascoigne
There are only 7 days a week, and you didn’t miss any. Why not say I drink daily instead of stretching the sentence like this.


“My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.” - David Beckham
Beckham, were you lonely till then?


“Our number one opponents are not Liverpool, Arsenal or Manchester United. It is ourselves at Chelsea.” - Didier Drogba
Very true! We got to know this when you argued with your teammate Frank Lampard for taking a penalty kick at the English Premiere League finals.
#2
"Me so hurt, me hurt loooong time."

DirtEdit: and what JayT44 said.
funkyducky


Icing happen when de puck come down, BANG, you know,
before de oder guys, nobody dere, you know.
My arm go comme ça, den de game stop den start up.

Quote by daytripper75
Get To Da Choppa!
Last edited by DirtyMakik at Jul 7, 2010,
#3
I'm sorry, did someone say... football?!



daytripper75

Bullieve


Quote by Amuro Jay
I'm gonna need specific instructions again on how to properly dance with my pants on my head.
Quote by lolmnt
First you put your pants on your head.
Second you dance.
Third you wipe off all the pussy.
#4
From The Day Today's sport coverage:

"Twat! That was liquid football! "

"SHIT! Did you see that? He must have a foot like a traction engine!"

"Eat my goal! The goalie has got football pie all over his shirt. "

Alan Partridge:
(in a locker-room) The atmosphere here hangs heavy, like a big smell. The smell of men together. The smell of cats' musk. Bob Mariner, you missed the penalty. Why?
Bob Mariner:
Yeah, Alan, it was a bad one. It took the top of me boot, it was all over in an instant.
Alan:
You looked really stupid
Quote by GLP_Arclite
Pooping is well good though, to be fair.


I've got a handle on the fiction.

I'm losing my grip, 'cos I'm losing my fingers.
#6
interviewer: "if you weren't a footballer what would you be?"

peter crouch: "a virgin"
#7
Quote by metacarpi
From The Day Today's sport coverage:

"Twat! That was liquid football! "

"SHIT! Did you see that? He must have a foot like a traction engine!"

"Eat my goal! The goalie has got football pie all over his shirt. "

Alan Partridge:
(in a locker-room) The atmosphere here hangs heavy, like a big smell. The smell of men together. The smell of cats' musk. Bob Mariner, you missed the penalty. Why?
Bob Mariner:
Yeah, Alan, it was a bad one. It took the top of me boot, it was all over in an instant.
Alan:
You looked really stupid


He has a foot ... like a traction engine.
#8
"I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.' - Mark Viduka

Nice, Mark. I guess thats why he was so shite for us and nobody will sign him now. Must've figured it didn't matter that Newcastle kept losing cause we'd win the league anyway.
The plan was to drink until the pain over.
But what's worse, the pain or the hangover?
Who am I? I'm a titan so be expectin' a clash.
#11
When I think of football, I think of a sport in which a ball coming into constant contact with feet is pretty essential. Anyway, since Partridge has been exhausted (there's probably some On The Hour stuff but I can't be bothered) and I don't care enough about football to actually remember anything that they say, have some Colemanballs instead.

"What disappointed me was that we didn't play with any passion. I'm not disappointed, you know, I'm just disappointed."
Kevin Keegan

"We deserved to win this game after hammering them 0-0 in the first half."
Kevin Keegan

"He has got his tactics wrong tactically."
Mick Quinn

"He reminds me of a completely different version of Robbie Earle."
Mark Lawrenson

"In terms of the Richter scale this defeat was a force 8 gale.”
John Lyall

"That’s not the type of header you want to see your defender make, with his hand.”
Ron Atkinson
#12
i'm sure i heard that Frank Lampard said after the England vs Germany World Cup match: "No one can tell me we lost 4-1"

...except for the giant scoreboard and results all over the tv, newspapers and internet perhaps?
Quote by Heilz
When backstage and talkin to the ladies i always go with the ¨Mines is bigger than theirs¨ argument as me bro holds hes guitar and i take out my bass... It works wonders @,@


Gear list:
Squire Affinity P-Bass
Ashdown Mag300 Evo II
Boss ODB-3
#14
interviewer: ''Excuse me, can we have a quick word?''

Gordon Strachan: ''Velocity''
#17
marradona:
"if cocaine is a drug, then i'm an addict"
MY GEAR:
Digitech RP250
Stagg Acoustic
Ibanez RGA32 (EMG 81/85)
amp doesn't matter :P
#18
Quote by Raizer Sabre
i'm sure i heard that Frank Lampard said after the England vs Germany World Cup match: "No one can tell me we lost 4-1"

...except for the giant scoreboard and results all over the tv, newspapers and internet perhaps?


But we scored two.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#19
Quote by thestyleboy009

For Keegan, something that’s international doesn’t cover the entire world.

Well, for me neither. Take the European Football Championship for example...
Quote by blue_strat
This is Germany we're talking about.


Germany


Quote by stoner179
Thanks alot. When i read the first sentence, i dont know why, but i laughed in the middle of my first class at tech school. You sir have made me look like a fool for the first and last time
#20
George Best was the has the Best ones:

"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered"

"In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life."

"I was in for 10 hours and had 40 pints - beating my previous record by 20 minutes."
George Best, regarding a blood transfusion for his liver transplant
Si lo ven que viene palo al tiburon
Vamos a darle duro sin vacilacion
Si lo ven que viene palo al Tiburon
En la union esta la fuerza y nuestra salvacion


#22
Quote by Todd Hart
But we scored two.


yeah but i didn't see it :P then again, probably like the ref, i wasn't paying attention but then again, i don't really watch football anyway lol

i'd be a brilliant referee
Quote by Heilz
When backstage and talkin to the ladies i always go with the ¨Mines is bigger than theirs¨ argument as me bro holds hes guitar and i take out my bass... It works wonders @,@


Gear list:
Squire Affinity P-Bass
Ashdown Mag300 Evo II
Boss ODB-3
#23
Quote by metacarpi
From The Day Today's sport coverage:

"Twat! That was liquid football! "

"SHIT! Did you see that? He must have a foot like a traction engine!"

"Eat my goal! The goalie has got football pie all over his shirt. "

Alan Partridge:
(in a locker-room) The atmosphere here hangs heavy, like a big smell. The smell of men together. The smell of cats' musk. Bob Mariner, you missed the penalty. Why?
Bob Mariner:
Yeah, Alan, it was a bad one. It took the top of me boot, it was all over in an instant.
Alan:
You looked really stupid


Ah, classic...
#25
Quote by JayT44
I'm sorry, did someone say... football?!









See the logic?

Despite hating football with a passion, I can't understand why you Americans just cant grasp the simple nature of it.
#26
Quote by slybacon
interviewer: ''Excuse me, can we have a quick word?''

Gordon Strachan: ''Velocity''

He's a legend.

"Was there a particular area where you were outplayed?"

GS: "The big green one out there"
#27
Quote by Bearded_Seth




See the logic?

Despite hating football with a passion, I can't understand why you Americans just cant grasp the simple nature of it.





Picture fail.
...Stapling helium to penguins since 1949.
#28
Quote by Bearded_Seth

See the logic?

Despite hating football with a passion, I can't understand why you Americans just cant grasp the simple nature of it.

What goes on your feet?
Socks.

What do you play soccer with?
Your feet.

See the connection?