#1
Eternally drifting through decay
Nothing in my way remains how it was meant to be
Up to the altars of sacrifice
The priests welcome my offering
Belief is reality in this keep of dreams

Bleeding eyes behind the masks forged from others innocence
Hooded robes concealing deadly sin
And the creatures that hide beneath our skin
BLEED ON ME

Fingers tear at me
I do not give in, the essence remains with me
Still I travel up the never-ending staircase
To the hell that flies above
Corrupted gods always look down to this earth

Bleeding eyes behind the masks forged from others innocence
Hooded robes concealing deadly sin
And the creatures that hide beneath our skin
BREAK AWAY

In the gardens above the clouds
Through a maze of tangled souls
The final altar of defiance lies
Here is where you forge the sin
And the true evil to keep within

Hide away from world
The burden of pain is too much to carry onto hallowed soil
The fire below is the purity I really sought
BURN
#2



Want some invisible giant sandwich with that?


Seriously though looks good.
Quote by God
I'm Omnipotent, which is to say that my dick eats both meat and plants


Ronnie and Steele, Rockstars today aint half as real.

R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio & Peter Steele
#3
Thanks

A giant invisble sandwhich is a useful thing, never know when you need the extra energy to help you get through your day.
#4
I've read this so many times before. I think the best way to describe it is stale. You're doing nothing new here. There are much more original ways of being dark than you are doing here. You're just kind of saying a bunch of melodramatic things that loosely tie together. Pain, fire, blood, souls, evil, corruption, hell, this has ALL been done before. I've never read anything else from you, but try being more original and stay away from being overdramatic and you'll notice a massive improvement in your writing. It will not only be fresh and new, it'll be more relatable.

I didn't mean to be overly harsh so don't take it that way. I am trying to be constructive.


Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#5
Thats okay dude, I try to write in different styles quite a bit but this is just the one I'm best at. I'll post more different stuff when the quality of my writing gets better.