#1
Tried writing something different, so I wrote a pop mosh song.

It's the first ever song I've written in this genre, but I tried to get an A Day To Remember-ish vibe about the whole thing, but I think it sounds repetitive until I add lyrics and better drums.

I'll C4C anything and everything.

EDIT: Uploaded an edit to my song, view that instead of the old one!

EDIT: Removed some of the repetitiveness, added some new riffs.
Attachments:
Pop Mosh.gp5
Pop Mosh Edit 1.gp5
Pop Mosh Edit 2.gp5
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Last edited by TheBigProjekt at Jul 11, 2010,
#3
Quote by slayerfrk
its great! a tab would be nice.


C4C! please
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1334249

>___<, I was getting there, the file was saved in the wrong format :s
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#4
Promised you a C4C, so here you go.

I really liked the intro and the main riff, but it wore out it's welcome a little too quickly. Very repetitive and very familiar. It does seem a lot like ADTR, though. The repetitiveness could probably be minimized with proper applications of drums and vocals. The chorus is good, and the progression is catchy, but it also seems ridiculously close to A Plot To Bomb The Panhandle by ADTR. The lead is catchy, if generic. The post-chorus section before the breakdown was really nifty I really like that riff. The breakdown, while good in and of itself, was a little too dense to groove properly in my opinion, but it was pretty heavy. I like the way it opens up and twists back into the verse riff again. The second breakdown section before the final chorus is really groovy, too, but seems a bit... Stilted. I think. Not quite sure why, but it feels a little off.

All in all, for the genre, I think it's a pretty good song. Drums and vocals would definitely make it seem less repetitive. A def 7/10.
#5
Quote by jmpullen
Promised you a C4C, so here you go.

I really liked the intro and the main riff, but it wore out it's welcome a little too quickly. Very repetitive and very familiar. It does seem a lot like ADTR, though. The repetitiveness could probably be minimized with proper applications of drums and vocals. The chorus is good, and the progression is catchy, but it also seems ridiculously close to A Plot To Bomb The Panhandle by ADTR. The lead is catchy, if generic. The post-chorus section before the breakdown was really nifty I really like that riff. The breakdown, while good in and of itself, was a little too dense to groove properly in my opinion, but it was pretty heavy. I like the way it opens up and twists back into the verse riff again. The second breakdown section before the final chorus is really groovy, too, but seems a bit... Stilted. I think. Not quite sure why, but it feels a little off.

All in all, for the genre, I think it's a pretty good song. Drums and vocals would definitely make it seem less repetitive. A def 7/10.


Thanks for the crit!

Drums do need work, I honestly made them in about 30 minutes the other day just to see what it would sound like, they needs tons of help yet XD.

Thanks for the input on the breakdowns, too. I usually write more fast, metalcore-ish breakdowns, so I never really wrote one of the "groovy" breakdowns I wanted. Listening to it now I definitely understand what you mean by stilted. I'll work on them a bit =p.

I'm also going to add some more lead riffs like that one you said you liked.
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#6
critting as i go.
-the intro is very poppy and i like the rythm variation even though it repeats itself.
-very monotanous until the chorus but its still good. (if your not a guitarist your not going to care or even hear it probably at least from my experience)
-i very much like the chorus especially when the leads come in.
-the lead into the breakdown is also very good.
-breakdown- very meh try changing this up
-breakdown at 93...pretty much the same thing, its okay but could be better and kinda sounds a little awkward.
-outro is very good!!!! Brings out what you can do and is exceptional

7.5/10 the chorus is very catchy and everything else is decent, the only problem is the breakdowns but oh well the vocals will cover up the intro/verse 1's repeatness haha

C4C please ?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1336135
#7
I think this needs more Lead nothing really catched my attention until Bar 37, it was simple, but it stands out from the rest, the F# chord sounded out of place though I'd use an another one. I also liked the Lead you put over it, very poppy, simple and catchy :P. Bar 57-60 was really cool.. This is the kind of thing you need for the verse . The transition to the Breakdown could be better but it worked, the Octave harmony at the end was cool. I'm not familiar with that kind of songs so I don't know how they go but I thought it was pretty repetitive ^^
#8
Criting as I listen.. The intro riff is kind acool but very very punkish! However I love Drop D tuning haha!!
29>> damn that klinda sounds like metalcore.. I like metalcore!! May be harmonize the lead out there??

37 the breakdown is not bad.. May be make the crash 1/4th??

45>>> hmm it had some dissonant notes… did you do it on prupose??

57>> cool riff!!! Metalcore I think?? Haha


61>>nice breakdown may be do the crash thing again 1/4th


Overall not bad man.. Hmm the first riff made me think it's all punk but it sounds rather Metalcore! Killswitch engaged??!

Anyways while you have C4C my GP would you like to check my Disembodied Flier in my profile page??!