#1
Waking up to the sound of your voice
Awaiting the words to fill the void
But all I hear is noise
All I hear is noise

It is a fate I cannot embrace
It is a moment I cannot face
A memory I cannot erase
The aftermath it tears away

A memory that remains so clear
A moment that I hold so near
But the echoes are all I hear
The echoes are all I hear

It is a conflict inside I dispute
Whether to taste the forbidden fruit
That creeps down beneath the roots
Until it's power is absolute


Just written in a few minutes, hasn't been edited yet, nor put to music. Any suggestions or comments are greatly appreciated and I will return the favour.
Quote by Night
wtf is a selfie? is that like, touching yourself or something?
Last edited by Wiegenlied at Jul 9, 2010,
#2
It's pretty straightforward, which is nice. Also, as it's supposed to be a song, it's singable. So oft overlooked in the lyrical world. That being said, with the exception of maybe the last stanza, there's nothing here that's necessarily outstanding or overly vivid. Not necessarily a bad thing, as it's a song, not a poem, but if you were going for vivid, there's some work to be done.

C4C?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1335463