#1
alright well this is very a7x influenced song (very) i just kinda sorta came up with this and usually i write more metalcore or post-hardcore influenced songs but i thought it came out well.

Cheeres :p

Anyway C4C but please leave a link in your post!!!
Attachments:
avenged intro 11111 - Copy(1).gp5
Last edited by clanderson32 at Jul 10, 2010,
#2
Okay, thanks for the crit on my song.

Intro sounds good, I don't like the naked feeling the guitar has for the first 4 bars. I would add some drums or bass or even like keyboards or chimes in there. Harmony sounds pretty cool. Nice solid intro.

But, then it dies off because you lose the drums. Drums make a LOT of songs. Even if it's something simple, drums make it feel "fuller." At 19 and 20, I would drums like...


B|E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-|SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS|
S|Q---Q---Q---Q---|E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-|
T|Q---Q---Q---Q---|E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-|


Riff following is pretty solid, sounds like an A7X riff, not too much going on, but it feels right. The end of the riffs (the 8th note pattern you have) sounds pretty cool.

The lead line is A7X's, you cannot get a line sounding like that without stealing it! =ppp It's absolutely amazing, I'm sure even A7X themselves will be impressed with that. That's a sexy lead line, grats on that! =p

Chorus once again is very A7X sounding. Very catchy.

Riff following chorus isn't anything special, but I'm sure vocals over it will make it shine. Prechorus chords are good, but you left them drum-less >:|! Add drums =pp

Didn't care for the chords afterwards, but they led up into the solo nicely.

Solo is great, but add more harmonization in the earlier parts, and take it out in the chromatic run.

You use the chorus once again and then end it on a chord, but choose a different one, I would end it on either 7 or a 10, they just resolve it better.

8.5/10!
Quote by BobDetroit
Directions:
Unplug keyboard.
Place it in your butt so you can't post anymore.


Quote by Fadetoblack5:03
You deserve some form of awesome reward, but I'm to lazy. Imagine the rest of these:


#3
thanks for the crit man. yeah i know the drums need a little polishing up and im not so great at making drum tracks either and yeah i need to change that. Thanks mate. And I uploaded newer version btw
Last edited by clanderson32 at Jul 10, 2010,
#4
Would you like me to make a drum track for you? I'm not like amazing at making them, but I have some free time I can throw something together if you want it. =p

Shredit!: Here it is! =p I added a bit of drums to the places that you didn't have any, I changed some of the drums that I didn't think fit, and I added a few guitar parts. Don't be offended by any of it if I changed something you liked, I was just messing around more or less, it was something to do =p
Attachments:
avenged intro EDIT.gp5
Quote by BobDetroit
Directions:
Unplug keyboard.
Place it in your butt so you can't post anymore.


Quote by Fadetoblack5:03
You deserve some form of awesome reward, but I'm to lazy. Imagine the rest of these:


Last edited by TheBigProjekt at Jul 10, 2010,
#5
Yeah mate, sounds really good actually. Thanks. Im not to savvy with drums haha go crazy with it
#6
The riffs were all very solid. Nice motif you use in the first couple of bars that you keep using throughout the song.

Drums aren't anything to special, but they compliment the song well enough

The octaves are really good. I like the implied chord progression.

The overall groove of the song is also pretty tight.

The only problem is there isn't anything that really stands out about this song in particular, but that might be attributed to the fact that I don't listen to metal much at all so I'm not quite sure what to be looking for.

I like it though. I might suggest adding a synth part or something just to help add a bit of harmony.

8/10
GEAR
Epiphone SG-400
Marshall 1987 JCM-800 2210 100W

Proud Member of:
The SG Owners Unite
Marshall Amplification
EHX Users Guild

The True Eccentric Tea Drinking Appreciation Preservation Society

#7
hey man thanks for the crit

Ok i really like the harmony guitars in this, really avenged sounding ! The harmonies are amazing.
I'd maybe work on the drums a little more, but I can see from reading above that you're not really a drummer so obviously that can't be held against you !

I really like the riff that comes in at 38, but then, after the sort of 'eternal rest' part, i love the feel of the riff at 58.

The solo was pretty cool, nothing too special but not bad at all.
I like this, i think with work on the drums it could become something really cool. 7/10
#8
Two Drums? The Kick sounds really kick ass with two drums, Haha. I like it. The intro, the melody i guess is it, i dont like it a lot cos i think it must be more Rotund .

The riff that comes after is better, but i think you need to work on it, this have potential.

And then, a harmony. Sounds Good! I like this part. Bar 29 - 37

Then, the chorus? w/e .. I enojoying it.

After this, comes a breakdown yep? It sounds so hard rockish. .. Thrashy i guess, i like...

the transition to the chorus again i really DONT LIKE .. is too single.

About the solo, is okay but, i guess you get off of the scale bro! And it sounds awful at this part, you've to fix it.

again the chorus, i think you have to change cos it sounds repetitive maybe the drums groove... Or add a lead guitar line to end this shit as should be x ) ...

Overall, i think you can do a better song 5/10
keep working on it bro!
" Living the world as the music makes me feel "