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#1
I live in Pennsylvania, and me and two of my friends have decided that we're going to drive to Texas. That's 1,400 miles in one direction! I'm pretty freaking excited.

The reason we're driving down to Texas (specifically Plano, Dublin, and finally Waco) is none other than The King of Beverages, The Friendly Pepper Upper itself...



We have to visit the corporate headquarters, the original bottling plants, and museum of our most beloved beverage. Of course we're going to get caught up in some silly misadventures along the way.

I am slightly concerned though, because my friend and I have long hair, that we're going to get eaten by some scary Southerners.

Does any one out there in the Pit have any advice for surviving the South? Or any neat places I should visit along the way? Maybe even a sweet road-trip story to inspire me?
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#2
Take a shotgun.
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#3
Don't wear band shirts. Only way to survive down there.
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#4
Eat Southern food. You'd be surprised, as stupid and ignorant as some Southerners are, most of them are quite friendly. Just be polite and tell them you like Lynyrd Skynyrd and you'll be super.
#5
Quote by damian_91
Take a shotgun.


Not enough money to purchase weapons right now. Maybe I should steal one when I'm out of state?

Quote by nalyd
Eat Southern food. You'd be surprised, as stupid and ignorant as some Southerners are, most of them are quite friendly. Just be polite and tell them you like Lynyrd Skynyrd and you'll be super.



I'm planning on getting some real barbecue (especially when we're passing through Tennessee). We just have some cheap knock-offs up here.
I've decided that my signature is terrible. I'm open to suggestions.


Click me, or I'll die.


# Un-nominated in UG Top 100,
Last edited by Bushinarin at Jul 10, 2010,
#6
Take a gun and get practising on your showdown skills.
They made me do push ups in drag

I'm gonna have a really hard time if we're both cannibals and racists.

Don't dress as a whore, he'll thump you.

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#7
Make sure the air conditioner in your car works.
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#8
I wear band shirts and nothing happens to me and that's cause I live in south Texas. TS go to San Antonio and try the four horsemen burger.
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#10
Quote by Bushinarin
I'm planning on getting some real barbecue (especially when we're passing through Tennessee). We just have some cheap knock-offs up here.

Ah yes, that is crucial. Barbecue varies by region though, so keep that in mind. You might want to try several different kinds.
#11
Quote by Jackal58
Make sure the air conditioner in your car works.


Yeah it does. I was thinking that if it was 105 degrees up here in PA, how warm will it be in Texas?


On a side note, has anything heard anything about Hurricane Alex? Is that thing still going on? I know it was small, but I figured it might be troublesome when we get down there.

Quote by maidenrulz19
I wear band shirts and nothing happens to me and that's cause I live in south Texas. TS go to San Antonio and try the four horsemen burger.


Do you fellows really think band shirts will be a problem? We'll never be more than 150 miles from Dallas I don't think. San Antonio is pretty out of the way. I wish I could see everywhere, but I only have 9 days.
I've decided that my signature is terrible. I'm open to suggestions.


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# Un-nominated in UG Top 100,
Last edited by Bushinarin at Jul 10, 2010,
#12
Southerners are my favoritest peoples. Just make a crude handpainting of the 'Ol stars and bars on the grill, roof, and hood of your car and you'll fit right in.
#13
Quote by maidenrulz19
I wear band shirts and nothing happens to me and that's cause I live in south Texas. TS go to San Antonio and try the four horsemen burger.

Go to San Antonio and piss on the Alamo.
You'll max out your Ozzie points.
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#15
Avoid painting 'manlove is ok' on the side of your car. Hair isn't a problem, mine is kind of shaggy and no one really minds. Be prepared to spend a long time listening to old people relate their aches and pains and how they know tornados/hurricanes/whatever are coming because their knees hurt.

Also, it really depends on the band shirt.
Last edited by Aeolian Harmony at Jul 10, 2010,
#16
Eh, you'll be fine. There are good people here, total pricks, and the guys in-between just like everywhere else. Just be courteous and avoid the douchebags.
You also might wanna have someone who speaks Spanish around too.
Last edited by Gabrhil at Jul 10, 2010,
#17
1. make sure you own a pick up of some sort
2. always say how much you love Jesus and hate gays
3. always say bad things about iraq
with those in mind you will fit in just fine
#18
If you hear banjos, run as fast as you can.
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#20
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If you hear banjos, paddle as fast as you can.


That's more like it.
#22
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Take your sister.


From behind.

You'll fit right in.


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You'll find whisky very different, but try it and you'll grow into it, soon you and whisky are one, but still two, lovers dancing across a frozen lake under moonlight, wrapped in honey and warmth.


Sums up whisky perfectly
#23
Quote by nalyd
Eat Southern food. You'd be surprised, as stupid and ignorant as some Southerners are, most of them are quite friendly. Just be polite and tell them you like Lynyrd Skynyrd and you'll be super.

+1
I've lived in Mississippi my whole life (1 state between MS and TX). No one really cares about the length of your hair, the band t shirts, or anything.

And if you're going to Texas from so far, try to go to New Orleans and spend a night there. Go down Bourbon Street and party all night.
#24
As a Southerner myself I would like to point out that there is a difference between Southerners and Texans. I should also point out that under no circumstance are you to ever call a Texan a Southerner. They don't take kindly to that.

As for actual surviving the local populace, just forget blending in, they can tell that you're a bunch of Yankees from a mile away. Just remember to say "yes ma'am," "no ma'am," etc. and try and not act like a douche. And drink water, it's going to be hot as **** down there.
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#25
Quote by Bushinarin

The reason we're driving down to Texas (specifically Plano, Dublin, and finally Waco) is none other than The King of Beverages, The Friendly Pepper Upper itself...

lol rong way
#26
Quote by uk.mace
Put your hair in a bandana or ponytail I guess.

Or go all out and risk everything by doing a Top Gear-esque visit.
See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5lHQDjkHGM#t=2m51s


That was pretty intense. I think I'll do that.

Quote by Declan87
lol rong way


Texas has the REAL Dublin.

Quote by Jack Darkley
As a Southerner myself I would like to point out that there is a difference between Southerners and Texans. I should also point out that under no circumstance are you to ever call a Texan a Southerner. They don't take kindly to that.

As for actual surviving the local populace, just forget blending in, they can tell that you're a bunch of Yankees from a mile away. Just remember to say "yes ma'am," "no ma'am," etc. and try and not act like a douche. And drink water, it's going to be hot as **** down there.



This is pretty helpful, and I'll keep this in mind. Thank you.

Quote by gljbass
+1
I've lived in Mississippi my whole life (1 state between MS and TX). No one really cares about the length of your hair, the band t shirts, or anything.

And if you're going to Texas from so far, try to go to New Orleans and spend a night there. Go down Bourbon Street and party all night.


My friend really wants to avoid Louisiana. I wanted to stay in New Orleans, but he's pretty opposed. He says that if there's anywhere we're likely to be arrested for being Yank's, it's there.

I think he's silly.
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Click me, or I'll die.


# Un-nominated in UG Top 100,
Last edited by Bushinarin at Jul 10, 2010,
#27
Remember to mention that Obama was not born in this country.
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#29
I've relatives like those freaks on the American TopGear special... they scare the shit out of me.

But, most people in the South aren't like that. Not everyone in Wales screws animals, and not everyone in New Zealand is a hobbit.
#30
Quote by SleepinGiant
How old are you? shouldnt you be trying to have sex with women instead of taking a trip to see a pop factory? cammon


But we have girlfriends. We just need to take a visit to Real Mecca before we die. I think you're jealous.
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#31
Trade guitar for banjo

learn deliverance.
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#33
Quote by Bushinarin
That was pretty intense. I think I'll do that.


Texas has the REAL Dublin.


This is pretty helpful, and I'll keep this in mind. Thank you.


My friend really wants to avoid Louisiana. I wanted to stay in New Orleans, but he's pretty opposed. He says that if there's anywhere we're likely to be arrested for being Yank's, it's there.

I think he's silly.


Trust me, they aren't going to arrest what few tourists that they are going to get this summer. I don't know where you're friend heard that, but I think that it's a great place to visit. I'd swing by there if I could.
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#34
I actually live in Texas, and you'll actually find that the people here are *gasp* as normal as everywhere else. At the very least in the bigger cities. Some people out in the country are pretty crazy, but it looks like you're staying out of there.

And honestly, you don't need to be worried about things like long hair and band shirts. No one here gives a shit.
So fell Lord Perth...


... And the countryside did shake with that thunder.
#35
Quote by Jack Darkley
Trust me, they aren't going to arrest what few tourists that they are going to get this summer. I don't know where you're friend heard that, but I think that it's a great place to visit. I'd swing by there if I could.


Apparently his uncle was pulled over and fined unfairly or something along the lines. New Orleans is way out of our way. I'd like to see it one day.

How's it coming along? Is there still lots of noticeable devastation from Katrina?

Quote by ixKilledxKenny
I actually live in Texas, and you'll actually find that the people here are *gasp* as normal as everywhere else. At the very least in the bigger cities. Some people out in the country are pretty crazy, but it looks like you're staying out of there.

And honestly, you don't need to be worried about things like long hair and band shirts. No one here gives a shit.


I didn't mean to offend you. I'm just excited is all. Maybe I'll visit you!
I've decided that my signature is terrible. I'm open to suggestions.


Click me, or I'll die.


# Un-nominated in UG Top 100,
Last edited by Bushinarin at Jul 10, 2010,
#36
I live in carrollton. like, an hour away from waco.
youll be eaten by wild ravenous hillbillies that were raised by cyotes.
no dude, its the ****in same as everywhere else.
jerkoff.
#37
although i realise that only a minority of people in the south are actually like the ones the Top Gear team bumped into, it doesnt set the best example for the rest of the south.
on a side note, learn banjo, turn your long hair into a mullet, declare Iraq as hell on earth, commies = bad, god = good, and anal is only ok if it is with a woman or a close family member
/stereotyping
seriously though, youll be fine
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#38
Quote by Bushinarin
I didn't mean to offend you. I'm just excited is all. Maybe I'll visit you!


Oh no I'm not offended.

Perhaps I'm just trying to lure you silly yanks into behavior that will get you eaten alive by our pitchforks and torches. You'll never know.
So fell Lord Perth...


... And the countryside did shake with that thunder.
#40
Quote by GoodnightHero
I live in carrollton. like, an hour away from waco.
youll be eaten by wild ravenous hillbillies that were raised by cyotes.
no dude, its the ****in same as everywhere else.
jerkoff.


The same thing goes for you. I don't mean to offend you. Did I really say anything that upsetting?
I've decided that my signature is terrible. I'm open to suggestions.


Click me, or I'll die.


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