Sunday, July 11, 2010 2:42 AM PST

It's the wee hours of the morning. After exhausting myself the previous day from watching the entire Avatar: The Last Airbender television series and drinking an obscene amount of coffee, I'm still awake. So I decided to play around with a pair of scissors, eventually I began to trim my pubic hairs (a bi-monthly ritual of mine).

So I'm trimming my pubic hairs with a pair of rusty scissors. Note: The usual hygenic pair of scissors I typically use has been commandeered by my pet German Shepard for reasons unknown. Anyways, I begin to exhibit an erection from all this attention focused toward my groin area. Out of nowhere, my German Shepard barges into the room into a blind rage, screaming to me that the revamp television series of Melrose Place has been canceled after only a single season.

It was at this moment that the tip of my pair of scissors slip roughly 14 inches from the base of my engorged member to the underside of the head of my dick. Before taking a small slice form the head of my ****, it snipped my frenulum. I tipped over in excruciating pain, pain over the knowledge that I would never be able to strum along with my mountain-folk relatives from West Virginia ever again. With tears in my eyes, dog semen in my mouth, and blood on my Egyptian cotton sheets, I crawled toward my newly acquired iPad and swiftly navigated to the depths of the pit to deliver my woeful tale.

So Pit, I come here humbly and disfigured, begging of your cumulative infinite knowledge. I'm going to the beach tomorrow with a few friends, should we bring an American football or a frisbee?


I snipped my banjo string (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=banjo%20string) and need to know whether to bring a football or frisbee to the beach.
I wtf'd and cringed.

Bring a frisbee.
Time keeps on slipping...

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AtomicPunk7 is uncreative.
Football. American Pie style.
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Whats wrong with asking a girl what kind of cheese she likes?