#1
First song I've bothered to put some thought into since moving to Kingston, god damn the heat here sucks, miss Vancouver!

c4c.

First song I've ever written w/ these kinds of....lyrics.


Intended to be listened to w/ RSE turned OFF!

edit: CRAP, it should say "worship your weakness" haha, I must have been thinking of cryptopsy lmfao
Attachments:
worship_your_weakness_TNA.zip
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
Last edited by cptazad at Jul 11, 2010,
#2
That was one of the best i've heard in a long tme. The riffs were tight and the lyrics were really good
Machine F**king Head \m/
#3
thanks for the detailed crit, much appreciated

Okay i really like the intro, it's strong and i like when the lead comes in at 6.

from 18 onwards is really good, i like that intro riff !
I wasn't too keen on the bridge, i found it rather boring, even though the harmonies were really good, maybe just the first parts weren't so good.

The groove was okay, nothing special, however the instrumental which followed was interesting. I like it a lot, the bass sweeps especially.

That chorus afterwards is amazing, my favourite part of the song. Then come the breakdown and the solo, i'm wanting to find something i'm able to crit so it doesn't look like this is all just "really good bla bla bla" but it honestly is.

The second bridge is great, harmonies are good. My only real problem after would be it ends rather suddenly, but I see you've ended it with whispering so i guess, vocally, it could work.

really great man, 9/10
#4
Yea, I like that chorus too. surprising what you can write just in guitar pro w/ no guitar near by haha
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
#5
I thought that that was great...

The breakdown and riff right after it made me go nuts, cuz I'm a deathcore junkie (read as "scene fag.")
Quote by Skullbolt
banned cause yeah:

It's between you, user_nameless, me, and my split personality
I like kittens
SHUT UP NO ONE ASKED YOU!


Proud member of the UG Shred Mafia. P.M. godofshred to join.

"Do you practice UG Blackism? W e do."

PAROXYSM.
#6
I don't get why people consider breakdowns bad? Pretty elitist if you ask me.

Yes, I agree that if a song has breakdown after breakdown after breakdown it gets monotonous, but if done properly its the shiznitz.

edit: not saying I did it properly, it kinda just fit....(that's what she said!)
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
#7
I liked it a lot, especially the stuff you did with the bass! Keep up the good work!
Gibson Les Paul Studio Deluxe/Ibanez RGA42/LTD EC401vf
Into:
Whammy IV>Pitchblack>Dunlop 536Q>Fulltone Fulldrive 2>Hardwire TL-2>MXR 10 Band>Line 6 M13
Into:
80s Carvin x100b w/ cab
#8
Quote by cptazad
I don't get why people consider breakdowns bad? Pretty elitist if you ask me.

Yes, I agree that if a song has breakdown after breakdown after breakdown it gets monotonous, but if done properly its the shiznitz.

edit: not saying I did it properly, it kinda just fit....(that's what she said!)


You did it fine. And yes, done properly, breakdowns will make you crush your own balls with your molars.

Happened to me once.
Quote by Skullbolt
banned cause yeah:

It's between you, user_nameless, me, and my split personality
I like kittens
SHUT UP NO ONE ASKED YOU!


Proud member of the UG Shred Mafia. P.M. godofshred to join.

"Do you practice UG Blackism? W e do."

PAROXYSM.
#9
Quote by cptazad
I don't get why people consider breakdowns bad? Pretty elitist if you ask me.

Yes, I agree that if a song has breakdown after breakdown after breakdown it gets monotonous, but if done properly its the shiznitz.

edit: not saying I did it properly, it kinda just fit....(that's what she said!)


Breakdowns are considered bad by most because they are so often and so very badly done. Listen to any generic metalcore band and I can guarantee you will hear a breakdown, and it will just be "chug chug... chug chug chug" and some bad inhale screaming. It obviously doesn't mean that good breakdowns like the ones of Gorguts are worse just because they are breakdowns. It means that breakdowns are pretty much a joke most of the time and are used to a bad effect.
#10
Personally, I thought that was pretty freakin' good. It was an interesting, new outlook on (death?) metal. It was fairly nice. Breakdowns are bad in excess, but it sounded good here. Parts of this did sound deathcore to me, but who really gives a rat's ass?

The solo was pretty damn good, and pretty interesting, but it was a bit short, to be honest. Reminded me a bit of Nergal's style leads too.

The tremolo outro was different, but pretty interesting.

Overall, I liked it. It was definitely a solid 4/5.

C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1339396
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God