#1

i wonder what's on the other side
of the midwestern sky.
the outer limits of vision
20 miles in each direction;
the pollution almost rises from every object
sizzling and popping between small towns
and the great lake on the rim of cleaveland.
i think of walking the back roads
and tamarack pastures below
fourteen constellations named after white men
and trips of goats roasting in the pollution.
i imagine
finding a loch ness monster dying, something
that probably doesn't exist
but if it did, it would
be good enough.
Last edited by hippieboy444 at Jul 13, 2010,
#2
Great stuff, as always. I particularly like this bit:
the pollution almost rises from every object
sizzling and popping between small towns
The way you describe sound is really good, I think. It seems like people tend to neglect sound a lot.

"cleveland's edge" sounds awkward to me somehow. Maybe change it to "the edge of cleveland" or something?

The last four lines remind me of that one Tao Lin story. Intentional? Or just coincidence?
kill all humans
#4
Yeah, it's from that story "Love is a Thing on Sale for More Money Than There Exists". I just looked it up.

Though if love was an animal, Garret knew, it would probably be the Loch Ness Monster. If it didn't exist, that didn't matter. People made models, of it, put it in the water, and took photos. The hoax of it was good enough. The idea of it.


Also I like the change to the cleveland line better. I like the 'reverseness' of it. Cities are usually on the rim of lakes. It makes the city sound insignificant.
kill all humans