#1
to sit around a campfire;
it is to breathe.

(sipping coffee
and a crossword puzzle(word prison),
a walk down the sidewalk
with a pound pound pound
feet slamming
concrete
joints ache and
rot away
drywall encloses
and
on
all
sides
suffocates and
confines,
watch the birds
see how they're up there
and you're stuck
with your nose in your coffee
and your joints aching
and choking on
asbestos
birds are smart;
they don't mess around with asbestos
or carcinogens in general
for that matter
they just fly
and fly
and fly
do they ever burn?)

to be thrown into a campfire;
it is to breathe.


being's become a
burning,
we're confined
by
existence.
Today I feel electric grey
I hope tomorrow, neon black
#3
This is good. I really, really liked this part:
"birds are smart;
they don't mess around with asbestos
or carcinogens in general
for that matter
they just fly
and fly
and fly"
Not great at giving critique, sorry.
#4


enjoyed, especially the crossword puzzle metaphor and how it felt to read it
Quote by Arthur Curry
it's official, vintage x metal is the saving grace of this board and/or the antichrist




e-married to
theguitarist
minterman22
tateandlyle
& alaskan_ninja

#5
I really enjoyed this piece. It really shows how the form of the writing can have a significant impact on the way its read. I don't really have any critique for you. Great job!