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Hell yeah!
46 45%
Hell no!
56 55%
Voters: 102.
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#1
Imagine you some how get into a situtation where you're forced to fight an Ostrich, all you have is your bare hands, no weapons or anything; obviously they have a massive (RPG-esque) weakness with there long necks, but they are big ****ers and if they manage to land a kick I reckon you're done for. The question came up a while ago between me and my friends, then later I mentioned it to my dad and once again heated debate ensued, what does the pit have to say?

- Personally I don't think I could take one, I'm pretty scrawny, if it managed to get a kick in I'd be done for. Assuming it's at its upmost aggressiveness.
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#4
How the **** would I know? Seriously. Like what kind of experience would I have had that I could compare it to? Yeah I once kicked a huge pigeon. And I threw a coke can at a seagull. I'm a bird-killer.
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#5
I'm pretty sure I could break its neck, but I think it would kill me with its feet before I could do it.
#7
Quote by Venice King
How the **** would I know? Seriously. Like what kind of experience would I have had that I could compare it to? Yeah I once kicked a huge pigeon. And I threw a coke can at a seagull. I'm a bird-killer.

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#8
Quote by Venice King
How the **** would I know? Seriously. Like what kind of experience would I have had that I could compare it to? Yeah I once kicked a huge pigeon. And I threw a coke can at a seagull. I'm a bird-killer.



Here's some research for ya:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhTjV6hQcis&feature=related

Now use your imagination.
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#9
I'd use my catlike reflexes to dodge its attacks, subdue it briefly with a quick jab to the throat, mount it, and ride off into the sunset. Probably.
#10
A baby ostrich is as big as me so maybe I could take a baby one..




#11
Quote by Dirty Ducksauce
I'd use my catlike reflexes to dodge its attacks, subdue it briefly with a quick jab to the throat, mount it, and ride off into the sunset. Probably.



i bet you would, dirty whoooore ;D
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#12
I would tame it by gaining it's trust through altruistic actions via me saving it from poachers.

I could then take over my neighborhood and rule with an iron fist.


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#15
Quote by ilovepepsi
i bet you would, dirty whoooore ;D


Well, yeah. Simply defeating the ostrich wouldn't be enough of a prize.
#17
No, I've seen how deadly they can be by watching "Dude, Where's My Car?"
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#19
They can be up to 9 feet tall and can run up to 45 mph. I'm sure everyone is pretty much fucked if they try to take one on.
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#20
Quote by Got Guitar?
They can be up to 9 feet tall and can run up to 45 mph. I'm sure everyone is pretty much fucked if they try to take one on.

They don't have arms. That's a pretty glaring problem for them. Plus they don't necessarily weight that much. I'm right around their middle weight, so it couldn't knock me over very easily to trample me.
#21
Humm.....Well'l I'm 5'2 and an Ostrich is is like 6ft with insanely powerful kicks.....I could totally destroy that bitch. >_<
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#22
Quote by Venice King
How the **** would I know? Seriously. Like what kind of experience would I have had that I could compare it to? Yeah I once kicked a huge pigeon. And I threw a coke can at a seagull. I'm a bird-killer.

I once punched a pygmy giraffe, if that helps.
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#23

He can handle an ostrich.



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#24
Why would I fight the ostrich? What's my motivation?
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#25
an ostrich would kill you......
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#26
I don't know what an ostrich is capable of, but in Australia we have the mighty Cassowary:



I think they have about the same body size as an ostrich, but without the ridiculously long neck and legs. In addition to the death horn on it's head, they also have massive claws:



Which were sometimes used by the indigenous people to make spears:



I've never seen one get angry, but they can and have killed people. This one is preparing to fire his death laser:


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Last edited by -xCaMRocKx- at Jul 14, 2010,
#27
are you asking me if, given the need to fist fight a descendant of the velociraptor, whom can run up to 40mph, equipped with razor sharp talons capable of splitting my intestines open in one kick, and a beak that could literally rip my flesh off, I could end its life with my bare hands?

yes.

EDITed for change of heart.
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Last edited by GizmoKaKa at Jul 14, 2010,
#28
Quote by -xCaMRocKx-
I don't knwo what an ostrich is capable of, but in Australia we have the mighty Cassowary:



I think they have about the same body size as an ostrich, but without they ridiculously long neck and legs. In addition to the death horn on it's head, they also have massive claws:



Which were sometimes used by the indigenous people to make spears:



I've never seen one get angry, but they can and have killed people. This one is preparing to fire his death laser:



and these
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#29
Quote by GizmoKaKa
are you asking me if, given the need to fist fight a descendant of the velociraptor, whom can run up to 40mph, equipped with razor sharp talons capable of splitting my intestines open in one kick, and a beak that could literally rip my flesh off, I could end its life with my bare hands?

I think not.


Not with that attitude you're not.
Quote by L2112Lif
I put a ton of my capital into SW Airlines... The next day, THE NEXT DAY these nutters fly into the WTC. What the hell? Apparently no one wanted to fly anymore, and I was like "What gives? God damnit Osama, let me win a fuggin' game!"
#31
I once defeated a Killeroo, so an ostrich would be no problem..




Seriously though, I doubt it.
#35
They run at you at 40 MPH. Tuck and roll to the side, judo chop the neck. Finished.

In conclusion, yes.
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#36
One kick from the fucker and I'm disemboweled and most likely dead.
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#37
In a fight, no. Up the ass...hmmm.


I'll get back to you on that one.


Edit: Yeah, it's no to both.


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Last edited by alaskan_ninja at Jul 14, 2010,
#38
Hold it's head down. They can't kick ya that way...


I saw Dirty Jobs.

VERYSLOWEDIT - and with the fucker's head down, it gives me the ability to do various things to it's neck... Chop it, twist it, bite it, choke it... you know, any of your standard masturbation moves would do the trick.
This ends now, eat the goddamn beans!
Last edited by Skynyrd890 at Jul 14, 2010,
#39
Those bastards peck hard as fuck. I don't see anyway I could take one down, I mean I don't think a punch to it's mid-section wouldn't do much, if you grab hold of it's neck to choke it, it could kick you. If you try to punch it in the face or neck, well, there's just not much surface area to punch so I don't think it would do much damage. I so no, it would kick the shit out of me.
#40
Omelet?
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