#1
I wrote this song about a year ago, and I'm not quite sure what to think. The first (and only) song I kept. But I won't bore with details...

When was the last day
Where you could stop and say
That everythings okay?
When was the last day?

When was the first time
Where you felt truly fine
Without needing a dime
When was the first time?

What if, for just a moment
Along your journey
All your fears were absent
And everything could just freeze?

Well I can't remember
The first of my bitter
days
Do I need a savior?
I can't remember

Is there nothing you can do
That will help you to get through
Do you need to be rescued?
Is there nothing you can do?

What if, for just a moment
Along your journey
All your fears were absent
And everything could just freeze?
#2
It has alot of potential, add some structure to it and will be much easier to follow,
Can i ask what this was written about?
IMO it is a little bit repetitive but still an alright song...

Well done..

Cheers,
TheAscendant

P.S. Check out my songs:
Tomb of Lies,
Running Home,
Those Were the Days
#4
Lol thanks. I was worried it would be terrible. I know its repetitive, but I wasn't sure how to go at fixing it, or if it was even worth it.

It's basically about that feeling you get when everything in life is perfect. Where you have no worries, no stress, and needless to say, I was missing that feeling when I wrote this song
#5
That's cool, some of the songs i have written are based around that,
it's a real strong feeling and i find it a real good thing to base a song on...
Keep it up man,

Cheers,
TheAscendant
Last edited by TheAscendant at Jul 14, 2010,