#1
yes, i have an older poem with the same title.

haley, would you mind if i loved you? read my text and think of a warm spot between your legs.

i/
at night
i imagine your face cross-hatched
inbetween the water from the church sprinklers,
so i could walk over and look at you.
when i see you,
it feels like a very concrete, pink pain
between my ribs, throbbing like
a metal stress ball wrapped in a quilt.
it says, "you will always be lonely.
you are too young to love and you
are too old to learn enough in your life.
you saw her at 10:30 wednesday night
and you will go by that same spot
every week until she goes to a community college
with bits of her heart in a jar labeled
'this is what matt schultz did to me'.
you cut people down, and
say you have important things to tell them and never say anything.
you called her a wall and now you have become a fraction of the sum.
you ruined the gulf,
killed the ozone,
and mailed gravity in a box to nasa.
have fun walking on the moon."
i see you walking home and don't wave.
it was dark and i am at an altitude that humans cannot see.
i miss your voice already.

ii/
i have pictures in my head
of late nights. you, in a bath tub
with barbasol on your hands
a kodak moment in time
forever embedded in my viscera.
i will never make love to anyone
unless it is you, and i wont
do anything to anyone else
unless you are that 'anyone else'.
how do you tell a human being that?
the gravity of every sentence is overcome
by the urge to watch porn and say 'this is good enough';
to say that something is less than nothing
because nothing is free and won't change.
how can i tell you that
the way i feel is being in a fast-paced dream
and i'm trying to hold onto your complexion
and separate it from the rinds of color and noise?
these dreams last in my chest forever
i pray at an altar and hope that your comet
falls down and hits my chest
so it will be 'okay' to be less than nothing
because something can change if that's what i am.
Last edited by hippieboy444 at Jul 15, 2010,
#3
i didn't enjoy anything after the 'this is what matt...did to me'. i thought the rest became a little too straightforward and cliche. you had some good ideas but i just thought this was a little bland and not up to par with the beginning and the rest of your work.