#1
Hi. Here is my first completed lyrics in foreign language.I know i'm suck))but i tried.I need a critique, And is there a mistakes?

I'm leaving
I'm dreaming
Now I'm far away
I guess I'm sleeping
Here it's never rains
The sun shines so bright
I never saw so much light

In my dream
It's never spring
And my heart sings
The same old song
And for how long.
I dont care
And only nightmare
can wake me up
can wake me up
#2
That's actually pretty simple, but good ! ^^ Better lyrics than most punk bands, I guess.

Keep it up.
#3
No I cant find any mistakes in your song. good job
Just because Lil Wayne sold a million albums doesn't make him good. It just means a million idiots bought his album.
#5
I like it a lot!

The only think I think might look off is "I never saw so much light" as opposed to "I've never seen...", but I think it actually fits in well with the lyrics the way it is. Similarly, I expected "nightmares" not "nightmare", but I like it as "nightmare" as well.

Keep it up!
#6
definitely better than what i could do in a foreign language

the only thing i really noticed was "and only nightmare" should probably be "and only my/a nightmare" but other than that pretty good man.
#7
Kudo's on writing this with english as a foreign language, you did really well - a lot better than some people who've got english as a primary language.

I will point these out, though :
"Here it's never rains" - Is the same as "Here it is never rains". You'd probably be better off saying "Here it never rains".

"And for how long, I dont care" - Instead of "I don't care" you could say "I need not care" for it to flow a tad bit better.

Otherwise, your song is great. It has good rhythm, flows nicely and has a good, clear message behind it. Congrats.