#1
So I just got home from a free (I like free) Dave Mason concert in Detroit. (Excellent show but that's not the point of this thread.) My wife and I found an open spot near the front and parked our lawn chairs and had a seat. Didn't take too long to realize why the area was vacant.

A guy that was probably on the order of 350lbs was in front of us and a bit to the right of us. I became aware of his prosthetic leg when he began swirling it around over his head.
Ok cool. The guy is having a good time and having some fun with his condition.
And then the shoe flew off of it.
Ok cool. The guy made a slight miscalculation when he tied his shoe laces. It was humorous atm. The crowd began to toss his shoe about and it eventually made its way back to him.
The guy was also downing beers at a rate that made me a bit jealous. And then he tried to dance.
It was at that very moment in time I became aware that obese, drunk, one legged people should be dissuaded from dancing.
He danced right off of his leg. I can't begin to describe the visualization of the following half second. Time ceased. I understood what I was seeing but couldn't quite comprehend it. A leg was standing perfectly upright planted to the ground. The body that was attached to it was attempting to reacquire balance. The lady behind him was attempting to ward off evil spirits.
He came to rest on the lap of a stranger. Not the lady doing her best to avoid being squashed but her companion beside her that never saw it coming. The chair that supported them gave its all to support them but its all wasn't enough.
I don't think the gentleman that was ground zero was injured but the one legged fat guy appeared to be. Perhaps it was just embarrassment. I don't know.
He rolled off to the side and sat up. He watched the rest of the show from his final resting spot. The gentleman he landed on hit him with his leg.
I giggled and watched the rest of Dave Mason.
So have you guys ever seen a wondrous moment in a public setting that just made you go wtf was that?
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#2
Quote by Jackal58

The guy was also downing beers at a rate that made me a bit jealous.


See, I can take you.
#3
Pfft
He has nothing on this guy



I laughed so hard that it hurt.
Hope you enjoyed the concert man.
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#4
Quote by The_Casinator
See, I can take you.

My jealosy only extended to the point that this guy approached half my rate.
Not many can accomplish that.
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#6
I'm a janitor, change the words, "wtf was that?" to "wtf is that" and you have my story.


Very interesting and amusing story though, Jackal.
#7
Quote by slipknot5678
A jackal once tried to jump off a cliff and fly. I flew off feeling ****ing awesome.

This jackal flies almost everyday. Put that in your bong and smoke it you wing clipped cage bound avian fool you.
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#8
Quote by Jackal58
This jackal flies almost everyday. Put that in your bong and smoke it you wing clipped cage bound avian fool you.


Yeah....well...I fly all day and night stupid head!

I don't live in a cage, but I did grow up in a ****ing zoo (Houston )
#9
Quote by Jackal58
My jealosy only extended to the point that this guy approached half my rate.
Not many can accomplish that.

I am interested, what exactly is that rate?
#10
Quote by The_Casinator
I am interested, what exactly is that rate?

All of it in a short period of undefined time.
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#11
Yeah, I was at a Dave Mason concert once, and even though I lost my leg in an accident, decided to have some fun with it. Then my shoe flew off, but it didn't matter, people were having fun with it.
I had for some reason gained like 150 pounds overnight, so I wasn't quite able to keep balance. I fell down, and there was this weird guy looking at me funny the whole time.
#12
The only time I've been close in an open air gig was to see Jimmie Vaughan, and there were 2 kinds of people there: Older people who were there for the jazz, and college-age hipsters (this was near UNT where there is quite a music program). The hipsters were only getting into it because they knew it made them look smart. Jimmie was fun to listen to, but he's no Stevie from what I saw. And there were plenty of big tittied women rubbing up on everyone up front. Well, anyway...

Jackal, I've never understood/noticed why/that you have a Blue Oyster Cult logo in your avatar. Perchance, did you spend your young life listening to the Cult?
Quote by SlackerBabbath

I also have hairy butt cheeks, I once shaved a letter 'W' on each cheek, so that when I bent over it spelled WoW.

warning, some of the contents of this post may not necessarily be completely true.
#13
when i went to san fran i saw a homeless guy take off his prosthetic leg and start beating the shit out of some other homeless dude with it in the street. i then proceeded to wonder was he kicking the guy or hitting him?
{[WD Punk]}
#14
one time at a stoplight i saw a rascal train in the crosswalk infront of me. the front scooter was motorized and the person in the back was in a normal wheelchair, holding onto the back of the rascal, hitching a ride.

considering the combined weight of these two travelers, i was quite impressed the rascal was able to pull the both of them.
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Remember through smells
Remember through colors
Remember through towns
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#15
Quote by CoreysMonster
Yeah, I was at a Dave Mason concert once, and even though I lost my leg in an accident, decided to have some fun with it. Then my shoe flew off, but it didn't matter, people were having fun with it.
I had for some reason gained like 150 pounds overnight, so I wasn't quite able to keep balance. I fell down, and there was this weird guy looking at me funny the whole time.

I'd look at you weird regardless of the amount of lower appendages you possessed.
Quote by Pencil Man
The only time I've been close in an open air gig was to see Jimmie Vaughan, and there were 2 kinds of people there: Older people who were there for the jazz, and college-age hipsters (this was near UNT where there is quite a music program). The hipsters were only getting into it because they knew it made them look smart. Jimmie was fun to listen to, but he's no Stevie from what I saw. And there were plenty of big tittied women rubbing up on everyone up front. Well, anyway...

Jackal, I've never understood/noticed why/that you have a Blue Oyster Cult logo in your avatar. Perchance, did you spend your young life listening to the Cult?

I still listen to them. I am returning to the very same venue in 2 weeks to see them.
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#17
Quote by WD Punk
when i went to san fran i saw a homeless guy take off his prosthetic leg and start beating the shit out of some other homeless dude with it in the street. i then proceeded to wonder was he kicking the guy or hitting him?

That is indeed a dilemma.
Well officer I saw the suspect plant several blows to the victim with his heel.
So he kicked the victim?
No sir it was more of a roundhouse.
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#18
But to be serious, I was once at a store in berlin at about 9 pm, and there was this elderly woman in the isle who lifted up her dress and just started peeing on the floor.
Every single employee sped off someplace, not wanting to be the poor sod who has to clean it up. Definately a wtf moment.
#19
Quote by CoreysMonster
But to be serious, I was once at a store in berlin at about 9 pm, and there was this elderly woman in the isle who lifted up her dress and just started peeing on the floor.
Every single employee sped off someplace, not wanting to be the poor sod who has to clean it up. Definately a wtf moment.

That is most assuredly a public wtf moment.
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#20
Oh, and there was just yesterday when I was walking home from the pub, there was this drunken old guy telling everyone in the street that he was a professional hitman, a sniping specialist. He told me he'd whack anyone for 5.000.

If I ever need someone whacked I'm sure as hell not paying a 60-year old alcoholic for it.
#21
Quote by CoreysMonster
But to be serious, I was once at a store in berlin at about 9 pm, and there was this elderly woman in the isle who lifted up her dress and just started peeing on the floor.
Every single employee sped off someplace, not wanting to be the poor sod who has to clean it up. Definately a wtf moment.



would it be wierd if I asked you for pics?
#22
When I was at a festival earlier this year, the crowd started to push outwards to form a circle. Only one woman stood inside the circle, and a couple of hardcore kids took this as the perfect opportunity to start a circle mosh. It became clear, after one of the hardcore kids tripped over himself, that the woman had actually pissed all over the ground, hence the rush of people trying to get away from her.

There's blood in the water
Sinking, always sinking

#23
Quote by WD Punk
when i went to san fran i saw a homeless guy take off his prosthetic leg and start beating the shit out of some other homeless dude with it in the street. i then proceeded to wonder was he kicking the guy or hitting him?


#24
I was pulling through a drive-thru at a restaurant once, and some guy had apparently robbed the KFC across the street. He came running out of the store and dropped his bags, because, the police were already on him. Suddenly, he came running right for my car.

I just knew I was about to get jacked.

But alas, one of the cops got in arms' reach and pistol whipped him to the ground about 3 meters from my car.

How did the police respond so quickly, you may wonder?

The KFC he had decided to commit an armed robbery at was located right in front of the city's police station. Literally, the station looms over the KFC store.
#25
Quote by IRISH_PUNK13
Pfft
He has nothing on this guy


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#26
Quote by Jackal58
So I just got home from a free (I like free) Dave Mason concert in Detroit. (Excellent show but that's not the point of this thread.) My wife and I found an open spot near the front and parked our lawn chairs and had a seat. Didn't take too long to realize why the area was vacant.

A guy that was probably on the order of 350lbs was in front of us and a bit to the right of us. I became aware of his prosthetic leg when he began swirling it around over his head.
Ok cool. The guy is having a good time and having some fun with his condition.
And then the shoe flew off of it.
Ok cool. The guy made a slight miscalculation when he tied his shoe laces. It was humorous atm. The crowd began to toss his shoe about and it eventually made its way back to him.
The guy was also downing beers at a rate that made me a bit jealous. And then he tried to dance.
It was at that very moment in time I became aware that obese, drunk, one legged people should be dissuaded from dancing.
He danced right off of his leg. I can't begin to describe the visualization of the following half second. Time ceased. I understood what I was seeing but couldn't quite comprehend it. A leg was standing perfectly upright planted to the ground. The body that was attached to it was attempting to reacquire balance. The lady behind him was attempting to ward off evil spirits.
He came to rest on the lap of a stranger. Not the lady doing her best to avoid being squashed but her companion beside her that never saw it coming. The chair that supported them gave its all to support them but its all wasn't enough.
I don't think the gentleman that was ground zero was injured but the one legged fat guy appeared to be. Perhaps it was just embarrassment. I don't know.
He rolled off to the side and sat up. He watched the rest of the show from his final resting spot. The gentleman he landed on hit him with his leg.
I giggled and watched the rest of Dave Mason.
So have you guys ever seen a wondrous moment in a public setting that just made you go wtf was that?


Awesome story man! That would have been a sight to behold.

I wish I had something like that I could relay, but nothing I've seen comes close.
#27
Made me giggle, cool story bro
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fill it with used condoms and a note that says

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#28
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LtBrenton

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If I didn't have a mudkip in there, I'd sig that.


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☠ ☠ ☠
#29
oh lawd Jackal... great story

i had a similar experience with a two legged fat guy who dry humped his wife durring the concert, it was just a small one for a festival but still got lulz... and nightmares
Gotta keep my eyes from the circling skies...
tounge tied and twisted just an earth bound misfit...

>CRYPTIC METAPHOR<


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not hated
#30
Quote by qwerty_555
When I was at a festival earlier this year, the crowd started to push outwards to form a circle. Only one woman stood inside the circle, and a couple of hardcore kids took this as the perfect opportunity to start a circle mosh. It became clear, after one of the hardcore kids tripped over himself, that the woman had actually pissed all over the ground, hence the rush of people trying to get away from her.

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You should be careful what you say. Some asshole will probably sig it.

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Yup, a girl went up to me in my fursuit one time.

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I can fap to this. Keep going.
#31
I was on a train coming back from London, there was an empty carriage we thought we'd sit in (me and my friends). We were then confronted by the strangest and most brilliant thing I've ever seen... A guy completely naked, sat in the middle of the aisle, playing the Titanic theme tune. On a piccolo. It was just amazing.
#32
Quote by qwerty_555
When I was at a festival earlier this year, the crowd started to push outwards to form a circle. Only one woman stood inside the circle, and a couple of hardcore kids took this as the perfect opportunity to start a circle mosh. It became clear, after one of the hardcore kids tripped over himself, that the woman had actually pissed all over the ground, hence the rush of people trying to get away from her.

That reminded me of a show I saw that was in the parking lot of a bar. It was a free show with Staind headlining and Hurt (pretty much unknown at the time) supporting for Derby Weekend in Louisville. I was right up on the rail with a couple of friends and some girl didn't want to lose her spot so she pulled up her skirt and pissed in an empty beer cup, which eventually got knocked over on the ground so everyone was getting out of the way of it. The security guards caught it and threw her ass out.
#33
I was at Download, and we saw this girl walking with a limp, my friend turned to me and said "looks like shes been done in the arse", then later on in the evening, we spotted her again, and me and my friends went on the funhouse, which ends in a slide. I went around all the obstacles, then went down the slide, and at the bottom, that same woman was sitting at the bottom of the slide, with her leg next to her, for a minute i thought what the ****ing christ happened here?

It was a fake leg obviously.
WHOMP

Think of that next time you are not allowed to laugh.
#34
Quote by Pencil Man
The only time I've been close in an open air gig was to see Jimmie Vaughan, and there were 2 kinds of people there: Older people who were there for the jazz, and college-age hipsters (this was near UNT where there is quite a music program). The hipsters were only getting into it because they knew it made them look smart. Jimmie was fun to listen to, but he's no Stevie from what I saw. And there were plenty of big tittied women rubbing up on everyone up front. Well, anyway...

Jackal, I've never understood/noticed why/that you have a Blue Oyster Cult logo in your avatar. Perchance, did you spend your young life listening to the Cult?


Arts and Jazz Fest this year? I was there too lol.
#35
before reading this thread, i didn't know one legged, fat, drunk guys could even physically dance
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#36
Quote by lespaul1216
before reading this thread, i didn't know one legged, fat, drunk guys could even physically dance

Apparently they can't.
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#37
once I went to a show and ended up falling backwards into someone. it happened to be this very slim girl in a wheelchair. I probably wouldn't have felt as guilty if I hadn't been well over 200 pounds. that poor girl...
Last edited by MakinLattes at Jul 17, 2010,
#38
My mate swears blind he met a chick on the internet for sex and, upon meeting her, discovered she was less of a biped, more of a uniped. Needless to say he still tapped that, haha
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#39
it sounds awesome, there is not much funnier than a fat guy falling over, unless they start crying - that just finishes me off


the funniest thing I've ever heard is when I thought a girl had drunkenly shit herself at her own party... I was in a hell of a lot of pain and tears were everywhere!
"You're a twat!"- That dude in morrisons

"You Ugly git!" - That girl in the restaurant

"You Were a Mistake!" - Mum

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