#1
This is another song from my solo concept album. I just want as much feedback as possible. Thanks B)

Void

The summer breeze rolls past my face,
Its touch helps slow my minds race.
Life until now has been so easy,
But now a void is swelling within me.

A year has past since the dawn of the void,
And its presence is leaving me all but destroyed.
Until now I’ve left this void on its own,
But now its source is no longer unknown.

Years of uncertainty and boundless fear,
Has caused all my strength to disappear.
Am I all alone in this fight against myself?
Or is there a guardian angel ready to help?

Prayers go unanswered and fears unexplained,
Music and sleep are all that keeps me sane.
All this oppression has come out of nowhere,
To face this alone, I would never dare

Give me an answer,
To my unending fear.
Show me a path,
One which is clear.
Nothing will soothe this,
I’m all alone.
There’s no way out,
This void has grown.

Anxiety now grips me,
Pain soon to follow.
Getting rid of this void,
Is too hard to swallow.

Is anyone out there?
Lend me your hand.
This pain in my chest,
Is more than I can stand


Give me an answer,
To my unending fear.
Show me a path,
One which is clear.
Nothing will soothe this,
I’m all alone.
There’s no way out,
This void has grown.

Hope is now a distant memory,
Pain is all my eyes can see.
Faith has left me breathless and tired,
This void has consumed all my desires.

Joy, a long lost cause.
Depression, my keepers jaws.
Desire, a distant dream.
The void, where his demons team.

Give me an answer,
To my unending fear.
Show me a path,
One which is clear.
Nothing will soothe this,
I’m all alone.
There’s no way out,
This void has grown.

I’m on the edge of forever,
All alone is this fight.
One step from beginning,
An eternal night.
But like a voice from above me,
Her hand reaches high.
She takes my hand and begins,
My walk through shattered skies.
#2
For the most part I must say I really like it especially lines like this...

Years of uncertainty and boundless fear,
Has caused all my strength to disappear.
Am I all alone in this fight against myself?
Or is there a guardian angel ready to help?

the only set that through my flow off while reading was this and I think in a way it seemed to be forced into rhyming,that being said it itselft is not bad...

Hope is now a distant memory,
Pain is all my eyes can see.
Faith has left me breathless and tired,
This void has consumed all my desires.

if you read this part by itself its fine,but if you read the whole song through it kinda throws you a little.

Overall it has a subject body of something that I would find myself writing....which I like very much. Keep it up and let me know when you have some more stuff
#3
Thanks man. That little section that doesn't fit with the rest, is going to be totally different musically from the rest of the song. So it will fit. I've got all of of the album written so far. thanks again for the comment!