sounds very good to me. i just don't think that thrash riff at bar 43 fits the song.. anyway prog metal rules \m/
Thanks, both of you for the nice comments (: I'm 14 and i really need a musical oulet, since no one my age plays, and ug really helps.
I thought it sounded good and everything fit very nicely. -shrugs-

The reprise was very nice. It just sounded perfect after the previous section. I thought the ending dragged on a little bit but it works, and someone with more prog metal interest would think otherwise!

Preeeetttyyy goood job mate.
There will be zero tolerance
For the creator of hallowed intentions
There will be zero tolerance
Fate is your deciding God
So far I really like it.

Really the only thing that bugged me was the very end, when just the guitar was playing, it kind of sounded out of place.

I really don't have anything that I think you should have changed, so...
I don't do this much but 10/10.