#1
this is a reworking of an old song i'd had written up. just changed some things around, still working on the delivery and chords, but i'm hoping to have something rough for an idea soon with the actual music.

You believe it's all a game
Whether you win or lose
There's no shame
But to me, it's a different story
I lose my pride; you take the glory

ch.

Tell me
What I could do
To make you feel
The way I do
Show me that things will be okay

I can't believe I lost again
Your smile deceives me with innocence
It's a homicide and you're culprit
Cause of death: a broken heart

ch.

Tell me
What I could do
To make you feel
The way I do
Show me that things will be okay


Br.

Cancel my beliefs tonight
I wrote this song about you
To show you things weren't right
Just listen to me, please
It'll be worth your while.

ch.

Tell me
What I could do
To make you feel
The way I do
About you
Show me that things are okay
Everything will be better in another day
#2
I LOVE CANADA
maple syrup
Originally Posted by GbAdimDb5m7
I'd totally eat you.




Quote by Gorelord666
Banned because your avatar blew my mind.

Damn straight.
#6
My wife moved to Canada from Texas, and she's in awe of the fact that summer has one really hot week, instead of the year having three really hot months. It's good here.

Verse 1: nice metaphor, I like the contrast between the way these 2 people are thinking.

Chorus: I was going to say rhyming "do" with "do" could be fixed, but I think it might work in the context, it doesn't actually sound out-of-place out loud.

Verse 2: again, good metaphor, I like.

Bridge: I really like the first line, "cancel...", and it's a good transition, dropping the metaphors you used in the verses to move to the chorus again

End: I particularly like the last line, it ends on some hope, even after how bad things sound in the verses.

Nice stuff, not much to complain about. I really enjoyed it.