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Old 07-19-2010, 12:01 AM   #1
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vicarious46's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Assachusetts


Hey everyone again! One of my newer pieces. It was originally only the 1st, 3rd, n 4th stanza but i revisited this because I felt express myself moreso through this topic.

Tear it apart, and feel free to leave some criticism, positive or negative. I could use it because i would like to progress as a writer. Thanks!

Sense my field
Complicate me please
Hold me close
To thrash me round

A product of nature
With the devilís impression
Quenching thirst
A personal selection
Bones may shatter
And connections dwindle
But you entered murky waters
Flaunting life before the sickle

Come closer, I feel you
Grasp the desire
Come closer, I smell you
An ounce of blood
Come closer, I taste you
A craving so bitter

Sense your field
Need your disease
Tear the flesh
Donít make a sound

Thrust, jerk, clash
Blind outburst
Muscles have become stiff

Thrust, jerk, clash
Blind outburst
Heightened stimulation

Thrust, jerk, clash
Blind outburst
Until this temptationís no longer erect
Originally Posted by ErikLensherr
Don't belittle it like that, your mom produces top quality stuff.


Thrustor: 2012
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