#2
Soooooo messy
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#4
Wow that's awesome. I really like it most of the time. You succeed in creating chaotic/ melodic atmosphere. But as it Gakbez said, sometimes it's really really messy (bars29-31; then 49-57).
Try to simplify some of your rhytm (like at bar 93) and sometimes to make some part easier to understand.


To answer your question: the transition is not that good, but it works. The ending is really good. Don't worry about this part.


Continue writing stuff til you master your creativity!


EDIT the style is NOT an excuse to create something approximative. So the crit above is valid, although too short.
Originality is nothing without elegance.
Last edited by grooaarrhh at Jul 19, 2010,
#6
I was expecting something similar to TFOT when I opened this. Didn't really sound like them to me, it sounded completely original. It's like, contained chaos I suppose. The thing I didn't like was the breakdown. To be honest, I just thought it sounded stupid and forced, like you were trying too hard. But the stuff going over the breakdown was great. Just the actual breakdown itself bothered me. The rest of the song though, it was awesome. Some of it seems almost unplayable though.
#7
I didn't take your advice and listened to it on RSE. Used SRV Crunch and Slap Bass 1 and it sounded practically amazing until bar 52.

In all honestly, this sounded really, really fantastic up until that part. In my opinion, scratch the rest, and keep that.

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#9
It has all the essential PHC elements to it, without being all too derivative. It has a flavor of DGD, TFOT, and a little bit of Bulb/djent elements in that breakdown.
I hate breakdowns by their very nature, but that finale was pretty damn cool.


I'll back it up to the intro.
That progression in the beginning is very bright, which made for a weird transition at bar 10. It doesn't interrupt the flow of the song, but I don't like it personally. Seems a bit, bland.
Bar 12 is pretty damn good though.

The math styled schism afterwards was a mixed affair. I leads well into the bar 32 section, but just feels a bit too jumbled.

Bar 49 was awesome. It's quite dark here, which helps offset the "steadiness" of the previous sections, while providing a link to my favorite section, bar 62.
It goes without saying that it's a damn good section.

And dude, don't mess with the rhythm in generally any section aside from the 2 bars in the math spasm (29-30). I don't hate that part, but the accenting is just far too abrasive for me.
Everything else is fine.
#10
If that were recorded I would listen to it often. That is a killer composition. Just the right length as well. So many ideas.
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