#1
this is a little something i threw together in an hour. suggestions and help is needed. let me give some insight to my mind. i wrote this because i'm tired about facebook and people who are completely addicted to it and when they ask for your account name and you tell them you dont facebook they look at you like an outcast. so here are the lyrics.

incarcerated to the computer
eyes fixed on the screen
ears plugged to ignore all
touching nothing but the keyboard
the lines of reality blur.

With muscles degenerating
And Retinas burning
in the back of your skull
tiny hang-up or full blown obsession
for me its easy to see .

turn off the connection to the world outside
enter a realm of falsehood and corruption
you’re now addicted to the DIGITAL NARCOTIC

From adolescent to old age social networking sites have enslaved them all
May the damned rot and decay at their seats
Killing time which cannot be revived
Wasting your life
Death creeps closer with every click

turn off the connection to the world outside
enter a realm of falsehood and corruption
you’re now addicted to the DIGITAL
NARCOTIC

But I am one against a billion
Free your mind from the digital narcotic!
Zune Tag: Metal4life 1976
PlayStation Network: Koltzow


Quote by Bearded_Seth
At least you know you're attractive..

Quote by TheAbsentOne
I'd smack his ass too.
#3
i am not a clever writer because im a guitarist
Zune Tag: Metal4life 1976
PlayStation Network: Koltzow


Quote by Bearded_Seth
At least you know you're attractive..

Quote by TheAbsentOne
I'd smack his ass too.
#4
i like the concept.
i think it could maybe,
use some more fleshing out.

and i agree.
facebook can eat dick.
along with everyone who has an account.
i am the lamb.
point me to the slaughter.
#5
I took out a line in the 3rd verse to use for the chorus made the end line shorter changed up the format a bit. what would be a stronger line for the 2nd line in the chorus which has the same meaning

incarcerated to the computer
eyes fixed on the screen
ears plugged to ignore all
touching nothing but the keyboard
the lines of reality blur.

With muscles degenerating
And Retinas burning
in the back of your skull
tiny hang-up or full blown obsession
for me its easy to see .

Turn off the connection to the world outside
Enter a realm of falsehoods and corruption
you're killing time which cannot be revived
you’re now addicted to the DIGITAL
NARCOTIC


From adolescent to old age
social networking sites have enslaved them all
May the damned rot and decay at their seats
The Reaper creeps closer with every click

turn off the connection to the world outside
enter a realm of falsehood and corruption
you're killing time which cannot be revived
you’re now addicted to the DIGITAL
NARCOTIC

Free yourself from the digital narcotic!
Zune Tag: Metal4life 1976
PlayStation Network: Koltzow


Quote by Bearded_Seth
At least you know you're attractive..

Quote by TheAbsentOne
I'd smack his ass too.
Last edited by Thrash_Head1990 at Jul 22, 2010,
#6
I like the concept as well. I think in writing lyrics the key is subtlety and you do a good job of that in the second verse...and to tell ya the truth I think Digital Narcotics would be a cool band name
CAROLINA
PANTHERS
#7
Quote by jshoe93
I like the concept as well. I think in writing lyrics the key is subtlety and you do a good job of that in the second verse...and to tell ya the truth I think Digital Narcotics would be a cool band name


yeah the second verse is my favorite bit.
Little side note i wrote it as "technological coma" but i just couldn't get it to fit in to the song, and Digital Narcotics sounds kinda like a Rave group (imo) Plus ive decided when i make a band ,which will be soon, i was gonna name it

Thorium

Zune Tag: Metal4life 1976
PlayStation Network: Koltzow


Quote by Bearded_Seth
At least you know you're attractive..

Quote by TheAbsentOne
I'd smack his ass too.