#1
im in a forest made of
marshmellow trees, floatin through the sky, oh so
high, lucy's beside me, shes got carrots in her
eyes, oh shes got carrots in her eyes, and im
looking through her kaleidoscope but i dont see

no hope, any hope for me

the dragons got a message for the king
he writes it in the blood of the round table
merlin sits and writes his fables
while the peasants all burn from unstable government reaction

the king sits atop the mansion,
lookin down upon the death and destru-
ction, no one can save his kingdom now
watch it burn and turn into a canvas of
illusion, the blood drips on to the carpet floor,
watch as the elephant walks out the door

no hope, any hope for me
Last edited by chud123 at Jul 22, 2010,
#4
...I love this.
Quote by SlayingDragons
Nah, I prefer to tune lower. My tunings usually go into weird Hebrew symbols.
#5
the first verse is more of an ode to the beatles since i just never got into them and have no real liking for their music, so i dont know why i oded them, but i did.... so deal with it

bitch.

Quote by throwshapes
Really cool. I think the king would sit atop his castle though instead of a mansion. Oh well.

who says the king is in medieval times :O oh shieeeeeet

but yes i was going between castle and mansion, but i pussied out and went mansion since it semi-rhymed with destruction

while i do smoke a lot of weed and have done mushrooms a few times when i wrote this song i was completely sober..

i wrote it last night when i was just really bored and it is the first thing Ive ever written, so i just decided to throw it up here and make some people laugh :P

would it be better to have the "no hope, any hope for me" between the 2nd and 3rd verse? i cant decide.. if someone could give me some real critique that would be nice


JordanZZ -- yea i really peace bro'd the whole Beatles thing and i was thinking abut having a 4th verse that went and tied back to the first, sort of like 2 stories in 1 deal, but still not sure.

as for the unstable government reaction, im also on edge about it on whether i like or dislike it, so i will probably try and figure something else to put there that makes sense.
Last edited by chud123 at Jul 23, 2010,
#6
kaleidoscope*
Quote by Natrone
I'm a pretty hardcore Christian. I would like to sincerely apologize that you ran into that little fucktard


Quote by mystique facade
dale-banez made a fool of himself..lol



my gear:

oh wait, no one cares
#7
Really cool. I think the king would sit atop his castle though instead of a mansion. Oh well.
#8
....someone likes shrooms......
For a heart of ice,
a winters night is a breathless kiss,

For a heart of fire,
a summers day is a lovers embrace.

-Me-
"ohh a piece of candy!!!"
#9
I love this. I know this has been said, but what were you on?
Bass Gear:

Mensinger: Speesy
Fender Precision 1989 (CIJ Rosewood)
Fender Steve Harris (CIJ)
Lakland J Sonic 5
Epiphone Explorer
Maruszczyk (custom) Jake

Ashdown CTM 100
#10
You were sober? I don't want to know what you will write when being high. lol
Bass Gear:

Mensinger: Speesy
Fender Precision 1989 (CIJ Rosewood)
Fender Steve Harris (CIJ)
Lakland J Sonic 5
Epiphone Explorer
Maruszczyk (custom) Jake

Ashdown CTM 100
#11
Quote by Tempoe
the first verse is kind of a rip off of lucy in the sky.


I actually laughed out loud at the tactful "kind of" part.

I want this over stoner metal, man.
The playground of the world
#12
"the blood drips on to the carpet floor,
watch as the elephant walks out the door "

Great lines.

It's difficult to make a connection of meaning here, and why the ode to the Beatles if it's quickly forgotten about in exchange for a king and merlin and etc. That's a whimsical twist that sort of leaves me scratching mah head.

I wonder, also, about the phrase, "unstable government reaction". I don't know if I dislike it or like it, but both times I read it I went, "Huh?" It stopped me in my tracks.

There's a playfulness to this which is enjoyable, despite the at times dark subject matter.

Jordan