#1
Black ish. But not really.
There are certainly black metal bits, but there's also still the requisite doom influence, post rock influence, and other shit.

Basically, these songs are like the bastard child of Moonsorrow, Lantlos, The Fall of Every Season, and Gris. And Burzum. And atmospheric black metal. And a few other things here and there.

Oh, and they're long. Like, ambitiously, Moonsorrow long. One is 14:40ish, one is 16:52. However, I tried to provide lots of variation in drums, variations in riffs, etc to keep them interesting. I'm more than a bit proud of them, and think they're perhaps my best work. Ever.

Regardless, I'd love some critique and comment. And if you write a good enough one, I'll even crit back. For true!

EDIT/UPDATE 1: I've named the first of the songs. It is now 'Ode on Solitude'. [Yes, influenced by John Keats' Ode's... ]
UPDATE 2: I've named the second of the two songs. It is now 'Ode to Memory [Nostalgia and Regret (subtitle)]'.
UPDATE 3: I've added piano parts on Ode on Solitude. And fixed a few transitions.
Update 4: Cut a few repeats on each in some sections here and there.
Attachments:
Ode to Memory.zip
Ode on Solitude.zip
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
Last edited by Burning_Angel at Aug 18, 2010,
#2


The only thing i could say about the first song is that i don't think section A-1 would work out too well when played on a real guitar. It really depends on your tone though.... Section C, D, D-1, B-1 and A-4 really stood out to me. I also like the way you ended it. Overall 9/10

I'll come back for the second song when i have more time. Don't worry about C4C.
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Come to think of it, my penis should've listened to more death metal.


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#3
Indeed, A-1 is tricksy with the tone... Too dirty and it sounds like mush. So I think I may play it on one guitar clean so you can hear the notes, and one guitar sorta half overdriven... Or, light distortion I guess.
That, or I'll split it up. Make one guitar play the low chords, and another play the high half [but quietly], so it's more defined.

Otherwise, thanks for the comment! It's much appreciated, I'm glad you enjoyed it. xD
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
Last edited by Burning_Angel at Jul 25, 2010,
#4
Update:
I've titled the older of the two. The first one. It is now 'Ode on Solitude'. Still must needs title the second one though...
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#5
this is a crit for ode on solitude
first off it is sooooo begrudgingly long, but that plays out amazingly to the feel and overall power of the song
i had a problem finding it as black metal except for part d at 167, that felt very bm.
but the emotion the song put out it was just immense, i felt it very aptly named as it did give out a vibe of solitude to me. as for improvement i would think here and there mabey you could throw in some cool effect instruments [hell a sitar can do wonders in even the oddest situations to the feel]
i found a-4 to be my favorite part as it really came though as the most power you can put behind single notes telling such a story
and even without vocals this was such a masterpiece. the transitions flowed sooo well everytime, but it may just be me, i think it needs one hell of an epic solo to just make it perfect, and it only needs to be a simple one, but it was the one thing i felt truley missing.
overall, an amazing epic of time, and an amzing epic of song writingship =)
#6
Wow, thanks much dude. Glad you enjoyed it overall, except a few qualms here and there.

I know a few bits need maybe a bit more here and there. I would like to write some piano and even Rhodes parts, as I did for the second tune, but haven't yet gotten there. I will soon though, I think.

I'm not sure yet if I'll put vocals on either one. I might but sparsely. I'd like some lyrics in sorta the style of John Keats' Odes on both of them though. [although maybe not iambic pentameter and such. That's just pretentious. ]

But I'm really happy that it achieved what I wanted it to. Solitude. So thanks.
[and about the black metal thing. All the arpeggio riffing is really black metal, in the Burzum style. It's Burzum/newer Moonsorrow worship really. ]
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
Last edited by Burning_Angel at Jul 27, 2010,
#7
Quote by Burning_Angel
Wow, thanks much dude. Glad you enjoyed it overall, except a few qualms here and there.

I know a few bits need maybe a bit more here and there. I would like to write some more piano parts, as I did for the second tune, but haven't yet gotten there. I will soon though, I think.

I'm not sure yet if I'll put vocals on either one. I might but sparsely. I'd like some lyrics in sorta the style of John Keats' Odes on both of them though. [although maybe not iambic pentameter and such. That's just pretentious. ]

But I'm really happy that it achieved what I wanted it to. Solitude. So thanks.
[and about the black metal thing. All the arpeggio riffing is really black metal, in the Burzum style. It's Burzum/newer Moonsorrow worship really. ]


well hey if you dont mind i might give it a good go for and throw some nice ambiance in there, its sorta my specialty and junk haha, ive always wanted to write a song like this but never the had the patience to do it
but yeah now i see what you mean, i was thinking like mayhem bm, so its an easy misunderstanding
#8
I had some ideas already, but you're welcome to try in a few sections where it'd fit. Subtle stuff like in A-4/the intro, maybe the D's... etc.

If nothing else it might help solidify some of my ideas/give some good new ones. xD [won't promise to use it though. ]

EDIT: Still though, one of the things I always try to do with a song is achieve as much as I can with as little as I can. Atmosphere wise usually. So I Try to keep it to guitars/bass/drums/strings...
EDIT 2: Second of the two songs is now titled. It has become 'Ode to Memory [Nostalgia and Regret...]'.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
Last edited by Burning_Angel at Jul 27, 2010,
#9
Solitude:
The intro is great. In fact it reminds me greatly of Drudkh. I ****ing love Drudkh. The bassline that comes over the intro is awesome. Listening at 4:00 and nothing to whine about... not a fan of super fast double basses in bm, I'd do something with them, like put blast instead of them... Didn't like A-2 too much, I can't think of a way to make it better though... but I think it will work when recorded. Same with D.

The song is well written and it flows well. I can't see any improvements made that I haven't already written... just add an acoustic outro and voilá, you have a Drudkh album in your hands. Are you going to record these songs in the near future?

Also, gonna crit on Memory tomorrow, now I'm kinda running low on time for 15 minute long songs lol.

Wanna listen to my DRUDKH INSPIRED SONG? It's only 6:23 long, and it can be found here.
I live near Lake Bodom WORSHIP MEEEEEEE

Quote by Sami Philadelph
LOL, for some reason the impression I get from you is like some wacky Frank Zappa of metal pulling pranks at the Grammys and telling crude jokes during interviews.
#10
Before I begin my critique let me say that I have enjoyed your previous work from the past. You're one of the most memorable composers on this forum and I think you should be proud of doing something relatively unique with your black metal pieces. I especially love your implementation of doom metal into your black metal so perfectly. I am going to try and give you a pretty deep critique of Ode of Solitude for beginners.

Intro: I enjoy the intro. It has a drone vibe, which is something I personally can get into very easily. Its hypnotic and trance inducing. I enjoy your use of string synths as they never really go away, very much like Wolves in the Thrones Room and black metal I make myself. When its in the mix it just adds to the atmosphere in a fantastic way.

A: The change to 6/4 time is nicely executed. I love the simplicity of this opening, yet subtle changes like in time does wonders to make it more interesting. The bass is great too, as is the drums when it comes in. At the end of this section I love the distortion guitar.

A-1: This riff is very doomy and groovy. These are two elements frequently missing from black metal.

B: The transition into this section is fine, though not perfect. I think you should write a drum fill to lead into this dynamic shift. In terms of dynamics, if I remember correctly you actually taught me a bit through past compositions of mine about dynamics; especially how to write drums and what not. I find many of your pieces to be flawless because of subtle changes. At bar 79 I wouldn't mind seeing some "bigger" chords being used on the synths to change the synth part up a bit, though I suppose this would depend on how your record them. You may not be able to play bigger synth parts, perhaps just program them.

C: I love the transition and this section draws elements from post-hardcore and death metal. Its very fitting.

D: I loved this section. It is one of my favorites in this song. The strings and general riffage reminds me of some old Cradle of Filth, which is a good thing by my standards. Very melodic but offsetting in a way. Not quite dissonant, but not purely melodic.

A-2: The transition here needs some work. A better drum fill would suffice. I like this riff, though it is not my favorite. It fits the song though. I almost feel like it needs a lead to be written over it. Or some higher octave strings in a few sections. I think that may help the dynamics here as the strings in a majority of this earlier portion are just background noise, so bringing them out a bit more could add to the atmosphere in a nice way.

A-3: I enjoy this section for its simplicity more than anything.

A-2: The transition into this works well. This riff really feels a lot like Wolves in the Throne Room.

D-1: I love this part. It is another one that feels like old Cradle of Filth. Love the strings and the riff. Its nice to see a legitimate lead coming into play here as well.

B-1: It is at this part that I am feeling the shoegazey element come into play, in the vein of Alcest and the like. I love this style of black metal. At this point I am checking out the piano which has nothing written, and this is fairly unfortunate as I feel it would be fitting in this part to add a little background riff.

D-2: I love the transition and this riff. It is very doomy and very much in need of a piano by me. Nothing extraordinary, just something to add some spice to the section. To make this section more unique I would also suggest adding a nice acoustic lead (doused in reverb in a recording and set in the back of the mix). You may be able to extend this section with that as well. Just a suggestion.

Return to C: The transition here is fine by me.

A-4: I absolutely love this section. Very atmospheric and a nice change in the song. I like the acoustics. I didn't realize that guitar 2 changed to acoustics earlier on because of the mixing, but it sounds great none the less. I wouldn't mind some higher octave flutes or a similar instrument to compliment this section.

B-2: Riffs like this seem to be something that is found in a lot of your music. Its fairly groovy and very unique for black metal.

D-3: Very good. I love the change from 8ths to 16th notes. I can just feel the intensity building up.

C-1: I enjoy the "bigger" chords to change this up a bit.

E: I enjoy how it just fades out into this. It is very calm. I would like to see some pianos in this section, and perhaps even another layer of synth; and even some synth string leads.


Well, overall I really enjoyed the piece. It is bloody long, but I enjoy long pieces of music and this does it very well. I really think if you'd record some of your music you'd find yourself in the ranks along side many other experimental black metal bands. This is really legitimate music, and shit I would buy if it was recorded and mixed properly.

If you have any time and feel like it, feel free to critique my piece here as well:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1343126
#11
Thanks for the crit, dude. I will most definitely get to yours tomorrow. [Ula and henkka, actually. xD]

And I will also take all you said into consideration, because all the critiques are true. I really, really wanna add some piano and such too, as you said.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#12
Update: I've added piano parts to Ode on Solitude. And I've touched up a few transitions/changes.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#13
Ode to Memory [Nostalgia and Regret...]
  • So.F-cking.Repetitive. This is why I'd prefer to listen to you works after being recorded.
  • Repetitiveness isn't a bad thing by the way.
  • Very doomy, regretful feel to the track.
  • I don't think the piano is loud enough in some parts.
  • Very good songwriting etc, but will sound a lot better with vocals.
  • Interesting sections.
  • Really cool piano outro.
  • Fits the title perfectly!


Ode on Solitude
  • See 1 and 2 of Ode to Memory.
  • Cool intro, also fits the title perfectly.
  • Sounds awesome when the bass comes in!
  • Section B is one of the most beautiful things I've heard this week.
  • Section C reminds me of something from Ne Obliviscaris.
  • Really amazing stuff you've got here!
  • For section D-1, see above 3.
  • A-4 is a really nice, calm section. I love it.
  • I love the section after it, too!
  • I love this entire song.
  • Cool outro.

EDIT: Bloody Hell that took ages, I'm sure you owe me the equivalent of what... 6 C4C's? I kid, I kid, I have nothing for you to crit anyway!
Last edited by Kämpfer at Jul 31, 2010,
#14
xD Thanks dude. Wasn't sure if you'd get to 'em both, or if you'd do so soon.

But nice to hear you enjoyed them at least. And get some honest critique.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#15
Wow, these are both pretty long haha. For now I'll just crit Ode on solitude

Intro was excellent, I love the chords you used, it really had a deep atmospheric vibe to it. Strings fade in was excellent, they sounded perfect along with the guitar chords. Tempo change at A was pretty much flawless. Once again, I love the atmosphere here, the addition of the bass at bar 25 was good and the drums at bar 33 complimented everything very well.

Distortion came in nicely and transitioned well into A-1. The riff here is a little too slow for my usual taste, but I'm really diggin the overall vibe here. I really liked all the chord work in B, excellent job there. However, I feel like there should be more variation on the drums here (mainly bars 79-94). Like add in some double bass or somethin as it builds up somewhat.

Part C was a nice contast to B with the tremolo goodies and such, it also flowed very nicely into D. D was good as well, but I feel lke again, there could be more variation here with the drums halfway through it. Nice bass work here too.

Transition to A-2 was good as was the section itself with the triplet variation onthe progression. C-1 was good also, I really liked the piano here. A-3 was fine as it is. When it got back to A-2 I was slightly annoyed just for the fact that it was the exact same progression, and it felt like it wanted to go somewhere else but it didn't. I would say maybe try to cut A-3 and A-2 in half and fuse them so that between the two it was only 16 bars long instead of 32.

Transition into D-1 was a little abrasive bu it works fine for this style I suppose. That being said I actually really liked this part, despite the fact that I really don't care for most black metal. Transfer back t B-1 was fine but I feel at this point there should be a variation in the song's dynamics. Like maybe have a little break where it's just one instrument and then build it back up into B-1.

Imo you should cut out to just the piano at bar 199, then bring the drums and bass in after like 4-8 bars, then bring in strings, then acoustic guitar, then finally the electrics, all the while building intensity with the drums (maybe a melodic tm theme in there somewhere?), just a thought.

D-2 was a wonderful contrast to B-1, don't change a thing here. C-1 fit fine where it was. A-4 was very nice, I really love the acoustic/piano stuff here as well as the drums, this whole part was excellent. B-2 was good also, nice chord voicings here. D-3=holy cow, perfect. Noting more really needs to be said about this section.

Transition back ito C-2 was fine and it flowed nicely into the outro which was a beautiful ending to the piece, really loved the chord voicings/use of dissonance/consonance here.

Overall, this was quite a song, with some really spectacular parts to it, but the feeling I get at some points, is something like "man, this riff is repeating again?" It honestly made me want to stop the song at a few points. Then again, I really don't know too much of anything about this genre so I could just be a total idiot haha. I just think there should be moe dynamics/variations throughout such a long drawn-out song. It's still a great song song though with some really wonderful atmosphere to it. Excellent job man
#16
Thanks dude. I agree, dynamics are necessary. Which is mainly what the drums do, honestly. I shall most definitely take your comment into consideration about changing them halfway through a few sections on the first half.

And I cut a repeat on each of A-2 and A-3, which makes it better.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#17
Quote by Burning_Angel
Black ish. But not really.
There are certainly black metal bits, but there's also still the requisite doom influence, post rock influence, and other shit.

Basically, these songs are like the bastard child of Moonsorrow, Lantlos, The Fall of Every Season, and Gris. And Burzum. And atmospheric black metal. And a few other things here and there.

Oh, and they're long. Like, ambitiously, Moonsorrow long. One is 14:40ish, one is 16:52. However, I tried to provide lots of variation in drums, variations in riffs, etc to keep them interesting. I'm more than a bit proud of them, and think they're perhaps my best work. Ever.

Regardless, I'd love some critique and comment. And if you write a good enough one, I'll even crit back. For true!

EDIT/UPDATE 1: I've named the first of the songs. It is now 'Ode on Solitude'. [Yes, influenced by John Keats' Ode's... ]
UPDATE 2: I've named the second of the two songs. It is now 'Ode to Memory [Nostalgia and Regret (subtitle)]'.
UPDATE 3: I've added piano parts on Ode on Solitude. And fixed a few transitions.
Update 4: Cut a few repeats on each in some sections here and there.



great stuff,man,but it is not black metal
#18
Oh? What else would it be? GP may not make it sound like it, but run along and listen to Gris and Burzum. That's basically what the majority of both of these songs are.

Regardless;
Quote by Me
Black ish. But not really.
There are certainly black metal bits, but there's also still the requisite doom influence, post rock influence, and other shit.

I didn't ever say it was entirely black metal. But if you think as a whole these don't fit under the vast umbrella that is bm, you need to hear more bm, clearly.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"
#19
Not black metal! This one is f*****g awesome though! Great work on this! Excellent build and climatic build. Dude! You have got to get rid of the cheesy keys and record this on a digital recorder. PM me and I can help you to get these sounding killer and better than a recording studio.

Sounds like you have progressed in writing which is good. A little long though in my opinion but other than that it's great!
#20
Well... Thanks I guess? Even though these are also in sore need of an update if you're gonna revive them.

and Solitude is comprised of so much Burzum worship it's not even funny. Perfectly Black when recorded.

That's the key with all of these though. When they're recorded. As is? It's hard to call a GP song much of anything style wise, because of MIDI sound.
Quote by MoogleRancha
It's like Fenriz and J. Read

"I'm so happy to love metal and stuff"

"I AM metal"