#1
This is more poetry then song, but I wanted to post it somewhere and get some reviews on it. I'm experimenting more with different types of writing styles, trying to expand my writing skills. This was written in about 20 minutes, so go easy

Kings Forgotten:
The blood drips from the raven's beak
Staining the pathway of kings forgotten
Without a word, no one dares speak
Blood draining, tongues turning rotten

He stands alone, but all heed his command
A simple move, and thousands fall before him
He controls, destroys, like water on sand
And not a soul dares to swim

They crawl like ants to rotting flesh
Single-minded purpose, united as slaves
Disease burns their tongues, eat the flesh
Smiling, chewing their brothers to death

Their leader beckons, they fall in line
The needs of their bodies ignored
The light in their eyes will always shine
Til weary chest rests on a sword
Best dirty pick-up line...
Quote by hide_the_beer
I wish you were my homework so I could slam you on my desk and do you all night long
#2
I enjoyed it. With the first lines, I assumed it was gonna be a Viking epic, but you surprised me. It mixed visions of power and command with gorey destruction. It almost sounded like the king's armies were zombies . My favorite line was the imagry about how he was water on sand. You should keep writing in this style

c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1343378
I'll pretend I can mod your amp but break it instead.
#3
Haha thanks man, glad you enjoyed it.
The army isn't zombies, it's sort of loosely based on the idea of the raven being a god of some sort, and his followers doing whatever commands (eating their families, starving, killing themselves etc).
Best dirty pick-up line...
Quote by hide_the_beer
I wish you were my homework so I could slam you on my desk and do you all night long