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#1
A quick question to my fellow pitmonkeys. what are your personal views on discipline? specifically how would you go about disciplining your children in the future(or present if you have any)? i find some parents resort to spanking but others use methods like "time-out" and other things like that. which method do you think is best?

i searched but nothing good came up.
mods, feel free to close if this is a bit inappropriate
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#3
I'm not really sure how I'll handle it. I'm not one to hit anyone, so I definitely wouldn't hit my kids.

I'm not really sure how to plan for that, so I'd probably just improvise at the time. I'll have to wait untilI have children. I wouldn't yell and scream at them either. That just makes them feel worse.
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#4
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#5
Time outs don't do shit.

My dad spanked me and I don't hate him for it, pain is a pretty good motivator not to mess up again.

I'd rather spank my kid once and have him behave than give him 40 time outs and him end up being disrespectful and out of control.
#6
Release the dogs on em'.


Nah, I probably won't have kids, but if I did, I wouldn't yell or anything. Yes, I'd spank them (not hard), but I'd also explain to them why they got in trouble. Also, that timeout bullshit doesn't work
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#7
Whenever I was bad I got slapped on the ass with a wooden sppon, damn that ****ing hurt. I always learnt my lesson though, so I guess it was for the best.
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#10
withdrawal of privileges, time out, things like that. I'd get someone else to smack them around if they got too out of hand, set up a good parent/bad parent scenario.
#11
hey kids, what did the five fingers say to the face?

slap?


Wrong you ingrates, knock out biotch!!
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#12
I'm gonna beat my kids like my parents beat me. Not often, but ****ing hard.

I also like creative ways of punishing kids, ways that make their bad decisions directly affect their life.
#13
Spanking seems to work rather well (as long as it's done out of love and not out of anger). So do restrictions, such as not allowing them to do something they love (playing video games, etc). That's how I was disciplined.
#14
personally, i find hitting kids to be wrong. i dislike my parent for them doing so. i know it is for the best but still, it hurts! i would probably have to hit my kids as a last resort but i really wouldnt want to.
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#18
I've noticed that time-outs don't do much of anything, so I don't think they're a very good form of discipline...

A good ol' wooden spoon to the ass used to keep me in line as a kid. And I love my parents today.
#19
My parents used to hit me when I was little (like 6 years old) but it didn't actually work so they stopped after a while. Not allowing me to watch TV or use the computer didn't work either since I loved reading so I did that instead and it's probably not a good thing to stop kids from reading.

Personally, I wouldn't expect my kids to listen to me if I hit them since I never listened. I'd probably just tell them what they did wrong and make them understand why they shouldn't do it again, and hope that works out.
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#20
that really depends on the way you think, but one thing is true, without spanking you loose control, I know two brothers that had children about the same ages, one of them, used to spank their kids, not like if it was mortal kombat lol , but he used to explain them why he was going to spank them and then he did it, now, the brother, he had children, he used to hit them not hard also, but without any explanation, and well, the children of the first one, are currently going to the university and are relatively good persons (no one is perfect...) and the children from the second one, two of them did not even finished high school, and the one that did had a really hard time to get a hold of his life again.... so, just examples, I think spanking is not bad, you just have to know how to do it, by the way, never do it if youre angry, calm down, then do it.
#21
I have found, and this is not a joke.. That the best method is faking your own death. Because once a child believes that you are good friends with God, and that you have ridiculous powers, he will respect you. My god son listens to me more than he does his parents because of it.

But then again, I also taught him how to hide his ritalin beneath his lower lip and spit it out later, so I don't know how much of a disciplinarian I am.
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#22
everyone google B.F. Skinner.

punishment only works to solve the immeadiate problem at hand and only tells your child what not to do. you must use positive reinforcement on your child when they do something right. so if your child dips their finger in the cake before its severed "Dont do that!", followed by "go sit in your chair" stops the behavior immeadiately, then after they eat the cake at the correct time, praise them for it. If you were to only sit your child in their chair and not praise them for eating the cake correctly, then they will just become better at sneaking cake before dinner, because punishment only stops behavior immediately, it will teach them to be better at not getting caught, instead of wiping the idea out of their head completely.
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#24
Quote by TSmitty6
everyone google B.F. Skinner.

punishment only works to solve the immeadiate problem at hand and only tells your child what not to do. you must use positive reinforcement on your child when they do something right. so if your child dips their finger in the cake before its severed "Dont do that!", followed by "go sit in your chair" stops the behavior immeadiately, then after they eat the cake at the correct time, praise them for it. If you were to only sit your child in their chair and not praise them for eating the cake correctly, then they will just become better at sneaking cake before dinner, because punishment only stops behavior immediately, it will teach them to be better at not getting caught, instead of wiping the idea out of their head completely.

This disregards the fact that kids ignore their parents commands. Hell, my motto since I was six is that I can't be grounded if I don't acknowledge that I'm grounded. It's like.. Okay, I recognize that you don't want me to stick my finger in this cake. What are you going to do about it? Put me in a chair? I'll come right back out, baby.
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#25
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#26
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This disregards the fact that kids ignore their parents commands. Hell, my motto since I was six is that I can't be grounded if I don't acknowledge that I'm grounded. It's like.. Okay, I recognize that you don't want me to stick my finger in this cake. What are you going to do about it? Put me in a chair? I'll come right back out, baby.

i imagine you must have been a wild child back in the day
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#27
No hitting.

If a kid's doing something wrong, and you wanna punish, make it relative to the problem. My sister's an education major, and takes a ton of child psychology classes, and that's usually what's viewed as the best way. For example, say a kid makes bad grades because he's playing too much video games. Then the punishment should involve limiting his amount of time playing video games.

I really think punishment isn't as necessary as people make it out to be. My parents didn't really punish me when I was younger, and a stern talk from my dad usually fixed my behavior problems very effectively.
#28
Quote by Jack Off Jill
This disregards the fact that kids ignore their parents commands. Hell, my motto since I was six is that I can't be grounded if I don't acknowledge that I'm grounded. It's like.. Okay, I recognize that you don't want me to stick my finger in this cake. What are you going to do about it? Put me in a chair? I'll come right back out, baby.



No it doesn't, think of it in broader terms, don't think of the example itself, think about the terms. It means punish your kids to stop their current behavior, and then when they do something right, praise them for it. People either do too much praising or punishing, you must balance the two.

Punishment only stops a current behavior. Punishing tells what not to do, not what to do. Positive reinforcement tells what to do. So if you punish your kid without reinforcing when they do something good, they will only become better at not getting caught.

edit: mad cap hit it right on with the video games example. Thats known as the Premack Principle.
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#29
Really long and boring lectures. Once you hear enough of them you wanna be good just so you don't have to listen to them.
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#30
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That's what she said.
#31
Quote by TSmitty6
No it doesn't, think of it in broader terms, don't think of the example itself, think about the terms. It means punish your kids to stop their current behavior, and then when they do something right, praise them for it. People either do too much praising or punishing, you must balance the two.

Punishment only stops a current behavior. Punishing tells what not to do, not what to do. Positive reinforcement tells what to do. So if you punish your kid without reinforcing when they do something good, they will only become better at not getting caught.

edit: mad cap hit it right on with the video games example. Thats known as the Premack Principle.

But if they tell me not to lick the cake, then okay.. maybe they caught me THAT time. But I'm still going to go nuts when they're not around to catch me doing something. Because to be honest, I'd rather lick the cake when I want to than hear my mom tell me, "Way to go, Tiger. I'm certainly glad you did the right thing." It just doesn't make much sense to me, because it's not like people don't ignore their parents when they know what the proper behavior is. Because children are selfish. If they think they can have it both ways, they will. Of course, my parents never spanked me, but I doubt I would have minded it anyway. I don't remember the punishments, or the compliments. But locking the baby sitter out of the house is a memory that will last a life time.

I mean, I understand the idea that the punishment should fit the crime. But even so, given the choice between taking away my video games, and doing something immediately fun.. I was probably going to pick immediate fun.
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#32
I would guilt trip my child.
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#33
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I would guilt trip my child.

I'd find a guy with no arm and set my kids up on elaborate pranks involving a man with a missing arm.
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#35
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i imagine you must have been a wild child back in the day

The worst part is my parents couldn't really say anything, you know? I mean, when I was like.. eight my dad put us in some martial arts class, and for some reason decided we should get nunchucks and throwing stars for Christmas. My old brother got a Katana. Seriously, you're just begging for trouble, and you have NO right to punish me when we use our little brother for throwing star practice after we get good at it. It was always, "Alright Dad, well let's see who the police blame when they find out where we got these things."
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#36
Definitely will spank them if they're out of line.

That's not to say I'll be dishing them out left right and centre though. It's not like I have a hankerin' for some spankerin', but it worked fine on me growing up, and my parents dished out more than what could be considered a "spanking".
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#37
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I've noticed that time-outs don't do much of anything, so I don't think they're a very good form of discipline...

A good ol' wooden spoon to the ass used to keep me in line as a kid. And I love my parents today.

I have to agree. Wooden spoon seems to work without damaging the whole parental relationship.
#39
As has been said, taking away what they like. Pain is a temporary thing, and can escalate really quickly so I think it's better to take things away. Plus hitting kids is bad.
#40
I can't bring myself to hit someone... Parents raised me by beating the living shit out of me (belts, chairs, frying pans etc etc) still do occasionally. Would never (couldn't if I wanted to) hit a person (unless in self defence), let alone a child. I'll figure it out when I get there though.
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