#1
This is the second song for my House MD-themed metalcore band, Everybody Lies.

It's a fairly straightforward metalcore song, very much like The Devil Wears Prada and We Came As Romans. I know it's not very original and very generic, but that's the point in part. Just wanted an outlet for my love of this music. It's pretty heavy on breakdowns, a lot of the variations in parts are from the keyboards and drums.

Any criticism would be welcomed, as long as it's useful, and anyone that enjoys the song should go on my profile and listen to the recorded version (without vocals) of the first song for this project

Thank you, and if you leave me a link to what you want me to listen to I'll get back to you as soon as possible.
Attachments:
We Were Wrong..mid
We Were Wrong..gp5
Last edited by --ATREYUROCK-- at Jul 29, 2010,
#2
So, it basically sounds like it was put together from a Dark Tranquillity rejected riffs bin, and slapped together with some pointless chugging. The breakdowns are obnoxious and as absolutely generic as they come, and the riffs are 3rd rate Gothenburg riffs (Which I'm ok with, as a huge fan of melodeath) but none of it comes together. Even the keyboard makes me think of a super-simplified and uncreative Dark Tranquillity. Honestly, this whole thing feels unimaginative and uncreative, and is nothing I've never heard before, and moreso, the same stuff I've heard a million times before.

And after rereading that, I suppose that statement can apply to any metalcore song, huh? What a stale genre...
#3
It's not completely stale. Not yet. And I DID say I'd welcome criticism as long as it was useful. You blindly hating on a genre is not useful. I clearly said I knew it was generic, I don't need to be reminded of it. Why listen to a metalcore track if you hate it so much? Please take the genre bashing elsewhere.
#4
Intro: Gothenburg riffing, me likey
Verse: Works well, nice atmosphere with the strings
Breakdown: Not sure of Pad 3 works here, but that might be my flagrant hatred of breakdowns shining through
Bridge: I like the riff going on, but Pad 3 was overbearing and I couldn't enjoy the guitars
Chorus: Good
Transition: Doesn't really work. I think a lead here would work better
Clean bridge: What exactly was clean about it? I was expecting acoustic guitars. In any case, I think it was a bit long, because there wasn't a definable lead going on to keep me interested
Breakdown/Outro: Generic breakdown
Synth: I see what you're trying to do, but it could be improved upon. It wasn't bad, but it could be better.

Overall: I'm not very familiar with the bands you noted, I'm not really a -core listener. But I had the feeling that the song is stuck between trying to be Gothenburg and trying to be metalcore. I'd either add more leads/riffing and go for an In Flames styles, or make the chugga-chugga sections heavier and more core-y (perhaps even deathcore). Right now, it's in limbo.

Thanks for the crit!
All is ghost in memory and poison in the sun
#5
Intro: Nice Gothenburg riiff
Verse: Not much to say about it, maybe harmonize the riff?
Breakdown: Very generic, the pad is a bit overpowering. I feel like strings would go beter instead.
Chorus: Generic metalcore chorus
Transition: Add a lead bit over the top.
Clean Bridge: where was the clean?
Breakdown/Outro: another generic breakdown.
Synth: Something else with the octaves would help it.
#6
Normally I am not a big fan of metalcore, but I think there's some potential here. The Gothenburg type riff sounds cool. But than the breakdown kinda sounds like generic breakdown. Have you ever heard any August Burns Red or Shai Hulud? Maybe you can have the guitar or the synth play some kind of melody or something behind the breakdown so it won't be generic chug stuff. Also outside the Gothenburg riff everything else was all chords. Even with the synth. Maybe have one of them play chords while the other one does some kind of riff to go with it or make the chord progression more varied. Although I do like the idea of using synth in metalcore,it can sound pretty cool as long as it isn't all Gothenburg worship. C4C?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1344041
#7
hey man i agree with Wquennasar about your song mainly. i would have to say if you palm muted the open notes it would sound a bit heavier, which i like ha. maybe when you make riffs try going outside the a and d strings and experiment a lil bit. what i think would really make your song shine is if you put not just synth octaves in you song but like make synth riffs, especially over the breakdowns; it would make them wicked intense! um thats about it, not a bad song at all, it really reminded me of TDWP at points haha
Last edited by -tempest- at Jul 29, 2010,
#8
wow after reading the other reviews its apparant no one really likes metalcore =/ thats pretty sad. right for the beginning i could see what you going for and i like it a lot. as far as generic goes this is at the top of the list.
my biggest problem however were the breakdowns. for this song i was expecting something a little more.. technical, mabey some dissonant notes here and there would help a lot, and breaking up the rythm from 4 counts [those get really boring after a while, mabey something like a 4- 4- 6- 1- 1.1.1- 6-repeat kinda thing would do wonders]
and tbh i really liked that riff at the start, but i think it was missing some harmony work, badly. and a solo probably would help out quite a bit, just something simple nothing too showy, but it would help, or some melodies work well too

c4c?https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1343268