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#1
Invincible. Bad ass. Angry. Sauce.

The longer this story goes on the more it cracks me up...

“I can just barely remember the boom,” Garst said. “I remember the start of a loud noise and then I blacked out.”

Since Garst's improbable run-in with the IED, his tale has spread through the rest of the battalion, and as often happens in combat units, the story mutates, the tale becoming more and more extraordinary about what happened next: He held onto his rifle the whole time … He actually landed on his feet … He remained unmoved, absorbing the impact like he was muffling a fart in a crowded elevator …

What really happened even eludes Garst. All went black after the earth uppercut him. When he came to, he was standing on his feet holding his weapon, turning to see the remnants of the blast and wondering why his squad had a look on their faces as if they’d seen a ghost. ...

He directed his men to establish a security perimeter while letting them know in his own way that he was OK.

“What the f--- are you looking at?” he said. “Get on the cordon!”


Uncle Sam owes this man about eighty steak dinners.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#2
That's one badass mother****er.
Quote by Pleasure2kill
The truth is, Muslims never apologized for their faith having something to do with the attacks on 9/11.
#4
TS, are you a regular reader of marines.mil?
Quote by Kumanji
How about you don't insult my friend's dead mum, you prick.


Quote by JDawg
Too be he had to be a dick about his crayons.
#5
"“I’m an aggressive person,” Garst said. “It pissed me off. All I want to do is make sure it doesn’t happen again. I’m just happy it wasn’t any of my guys. I’m not happy to get blown up by any means. I would have loved for it to have never happened. But, if it’s going to be anyone I’d rather it be me, and if it’s going to be a bomb, I’d rather it be that bomb, because it didn’t do shit.”"

"Why should we subsidise intellectual curiosity?"
-Ronald Reagan

"Knowledge is in every country the surest basis of public happiness."
-George Washington
#6
that man's smallest toenail is probably more manly than I can ever hope to be.
You're using UG classic, congratulations.
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#7
Quote by RubberPuppiessu
TS, are you a regular reader of marines.mil?

No, why? If you're calling BS it doesn't matter, the story is still amusing.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#8
Quote by Ur all $h1t
"“I’m an aggressive person,” Garst said. “It pissed me off. All I want to do is make sure it doesn’t happen again. I’m just happy it wasn’t any of my guys. I’m not happy to get blown up by any means. I would have loved for it to have never happened. But, if it’s going to be anyone I’d rather it be me, and if it’s going to be a bomb, I’d rather it be that bomb, because it didn’t do shit.”"



Holy shit, total badass.
My Last.FM



"The more you think, the better you're going to play. That should be a quote somewhere."
- Marty Friedman
#9
Imagine the guy who made that bomb, he's gonna be even more pissed that some guy is walking around invincible to his bombs.
#10
"“I’m an aggressive person,” Garst said. “It pissed me off. All I want to do is make sure it doesn’t happen again. I’m just happy it wasn’t any of my guys. I’m not happy to get blown up by any means. I would have loved for it to have never happened. But, if it’s going to be anyone I’d rather it be me, and if it’s going to be a bomb, I’d rather it be that bomb, because it didn’t do shit.”"


daytripper75

Bullieve


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I'm gonna need specific instructions again on how to properly dance with my pants on my head.
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First you put your pants on your head.
Second you dance.
Third you wipe off all the pussy.
#11
Quote by SteveHouse
No, why? If you're calling BS it doesn't matter, the story is still amusing.

Not at all, I am merely asking a question.
Quote by Kumanji
How about you don't insult my friend's dead mum, you prick.


Quote by JDawg
Too be he had to be a dick about his crayons.
#14
This guy is one badass mother****er.
No gods or kings. There is only zuul.
Quote by RU Experienced?
Now police, fire, and EMS vehicle's sirens sound in tritones. Suck it Christians, your protectors are satans minions.


I have been sigged by UG's Greek, what have YOU done today?
#15
Holy shit, give this guy the badass of the year award.

I write songs.
YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO THEM
Currently Requiring Crits:
none
#16
Quote by RubberPuppiessu
Not at all, I am merely asking a question.

I am not. I was linked there from, ah, another source.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#17
Quote by Ur all $h1t
"“I’m an aggressive person,” Garst said. “It pissed me off. All I want to do is make sure it doesn’t happen again. I’m just happy it wasn’t any of my guys. I’m not happy to get blown up by any means. I would have loved for it to have never happened. But, if it’s going to be anyone I’d rather it be me, and if it’s going to be a bomb, I’d rather it be that bomb, because it didn’t do shit.”"







That guy is an ultimate bad-ass!
#19


Good god thats funny, that man deserves the medal of honor for "Spitting in deaths face, and then kicking him in his testicles"

My things:
Bowes SLx7
Washburn WG587
Washburn X40Pro
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Laguna LE200s
Arietta Acoustic
First Act
Valveking 112
VHT Deliverance

#20
Was he eating a steak with his hands whilst punching an insurgent when he was being interviewed?
#21
lol, using the Marine site as a source for an extraordinary feat. This article is clearly propaganda. In the real world, soldiers who step on IED's get blown to meaty chunks of gore or becomes an amputee for life; but I guess the government wants to keep those recruitment numbers high.
#22
That's the kind of guy Rambo is based on.

That'd be the type of guy to say "Rambo is a pussy." and it actually mean something.
"Sticking Feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken"--Tyler Durden

Cufk, TisH, Sips
#23
Quote by AzureNight
lol, using the Marine site as a source for an extraordinary feat. This article is clearly propaganda. In the real world, soldiers who step on IED's get blown to meaty chunks of gore or becomes an amputee for life; but I guess the government wants to keep those recruitment numbers high.

Agreed. Still funny as hell though.

[IN PHIL WE TRUST]


Quote by Trowzaa
I only play bots. Bots never abandon me. (´・ω・`)

#24
Quote by AzureNight
lol, using the Marine site as a source for an extraordinary feat. This article is clearly propaganda. In the real world, soldiers who step on IED's get blown to meaty chunks of gore or becomes an amputee for life; but I guess the government wants to keep those recruitment numbers high.

A small one buried deep might not give off much shrapnel, so it is possible provided the IED was a pretty rubbish one.
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+1
#25
Hell yeah motherfucker.
~don't finkdinkle when ur supposed to be dimpdickin~
#26
this'll finally get rid of all the chuck norris jokes, this man is a REAL badass.
You who build these altars now

To sacrifice these children
You must not do it anymore
#27
What are you dense?
Are you retarded or something?
Who the hell do you think I am?
I'm the goddamn Batman.

April 19th, 2011: The Night of the Boob

#28
Quote by RampagingAcorn


It was more badass than that. Dude was standing upright when the smoke cleared. The blast didn't even knock him onto his ass.
THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

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#29
nice RampagingAcorn.


Pretty baddass guy I guess, but stupidity shouldn't earn a medal...

"The mind is its own place, and in itself

Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n"

- John Milton, Paradise Lost
#30
Quote by necrosis1193
It was more badass than that. Dude was standing upright when the smoke cleared. The blast didn't even knock him onto his ass.

Yes it did. Read the article.
Quote by severed-metal
Come to think of it, my penis should've listened to more death metal.


Quote by Morphogenesis26
So my question is. Can Pre-Cum fluid pass through my underwear, my jeans, onto and through her jeans, through her underwear, and impregnate her?
#32
Quote by CG Man16
Yes it did. Read the article.


I did. It said it blew him fifteen feet back and knocked him onto his shoulders, then he got up. Ass =/= shoulders. If I had said it didn't even knock him down, then you'd be correct. But I said his ass.
THE FORUM UPDATE KILLED THE GRADIENT STAR

Baltimore Orioles: 2014 AL Eastern Division Champions, 2017: 50-54
Baltimore Ravens: 2012 World Champions, 2017: 0-0
2017 NFL Pick 'Em: 0-0
#33
EDIT: ^ He didn't ninja hop. I'm sure his ass touched the ground.
Quote by necrosis1193
It was more badass than that. Dude was standing upright when the smoke cleared. The blast didn't even knock him onto his ass.

it did, he just immediately stood up.
#34
Quote by necrosis1193
I did. It said it blew him fifteen feet back and knocked him onto his shoulders, then he got up. Ass =/= shoulders. If I had said it didn't even knock him down, then you'd be correct. But I said his ass.

Since when do people use that phrase literally?
Quote by severed-metal
Come to think of it, my penis should've listened to more death metal.


Quote by Morphogenesis26
So my question is. Can Pre-Cum fluid pass through my underwear, my jeans, onto and through her jeans, through her underwear, and impregnate her?
#36
Lol, he's a Marine all right; they're the only branch of the US military that would react like that.
#38
Quote by gm jack
A small one buried deep might not give off much shrapnel, so it is possible provided the IED was a pretty rubbish one.

When you are that close, it's not the shrapnel that kills you - it's the force of the explosion itself. There's no way anyone could survive getting blown up at point blank range and land on their feet, then give orders to soldiers.
#40
Quote by AzureNight
When you are that close, it's not the shrapnel that kills you - it's the force of the explosion itself. There's no way anyone could survive getting blown up at point blank range and land on their feet, then give orders to soldiers.

"Under several feet of hard packed dirt"

"partially exploded"


Basically the dude was lucky.


Seriously people, read the damn article.
Quote by severed-metal
Come to think of it, my penis should've listened to more death metal.


Quote by Morphogenesis26
So my question is. Can Pre-Cum fluid pass through my underwear, my jeans, onto and through her jeans, through her underwear, and impregnate her?
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