#1
Hello.

This is piece that is very much in it's starting stage. Meaning I just got inspired and wrote this in a matter of hours. Now I appear to be stuck. So the ending, mind you, is completely just so it wouldn't end very damn awkwardly at this point. I just don't know what to do with it for now and I'd like to hear your ideas.

Also, ofc I'd like to have your opinions as to what is currently down is worth a damn at all. Sometimes I have doubts. Too messy? (That is my main concern )
I am also very hesitant about the section that follows from bar 29.
This is not at all the style I am most versed in

Also, do put RSE on, as all the dynamics have been set with that on. Headphones recommended.

Thanks.
Attachments:
Song of Purity.gp5
Hark! Is that a mellotron I hear?
Last edited by Yachar at Jul 29, 2010,
#2
take out the electric part. well don't get rid of it just keep the guitar keep, then repeat the intro for a lil bit, then from there see what you hear in your head. i really liked it haha, too bad its so short at the moment.
#3
Please work on this and finish it! The chord progression is great, I love that dissonance. It all depends on what you want to do with the song. If you want it to get heavier, which I could see, you could take a more prog rock approach like Animals As Leaders. Though I would recommend keeping that for climactic parts and using the cleaner parts as development sections. This has a lot of potential!
#4
Thanks for the kind comments, guys. However:


Quote by -tempest-
take out the electric part. well don't get rid of it just keep the guitar keep, then repeat the intro for a lil bit,


Could you clarify what you mean here, I'm afraid I don't follow...

The electric part is referring to the bit from bar 29 onwards, yes?
That, in itself, is a variation of the intro so...
Hark! Is that a mellotron I hear?
#5
I wasn't a huge fan of what you have, to be honest. Having said that, I LOVED the intro progression up until the A, G, F line you have at the end of every measure of 5/4. Make that something else and it'll flow a bit better and not have this unneeded dissonant sound.

The bass, while in itself was good, seems a bit distracting to the overall piece. The Keyboards lower just... sucked. It makes it seem FAR too random to me.

The part starting at 29 was the best, honestly. It took out all those flubbed notes and the bass seems to compliment the leads and stuff.

I mean I see what you were trying to do, it's just not my thing. It seems like you were trying to do some Freeform Jazz which I don't think can be captured in GP.

I'm interested in where you take it, but I dunno what to do... maybe go back to that intro melody but without those weird notes?