Hello Everybody, this is my new song that i wrote in about 2 days. It gets repetitive but lyrics should fix that. The first solo is not really good and im planning on changing it, but im happy with the rest, tell me what you think.

Post a link for C4C
Awake in a Nightmare.gp5
Hey man, loved the intro. Keep it. The verse was cool, not as br00tal as I expected. I didn't like the solo though... now I am a melody *****, and I guess that's why I didn't like it. The melody sounds somewhat dissonant to my ears. The part around bar 122 is awesome! I like the way the instruments interact which eachother. Sounds great! The chorus is fine. Doesn't stand out but isn't bad either. Solo 2 was better, although it sounded a bit dissonant like solo 1. But it's definitely better.

All in all: pretty cool, but the solos didn't do it for me. I can imagine that with vocals it would sound much more complete. Keep on writing though


Creepy intro - Creepy! =D

Heavy intro - Good

Verse1 - Good

Pre-chorus - 46-49 were really good, wish you expanded on it

Solo1 - I kept going between "oh yeah \m/" and "wait, what?" I think a more "straightforward" solo is needed here, no breaks, the song is too heavy for a solo that has breaks!

Pre-chorus - Maybe change 77 to transition better

Verse2 - Maybe add a harmony to the second part of this

Pre-chorus - Again, I love the first 4 parts of this SO much - my favorite part of the song

Chorus - Bit slow/disjointed, gets better though

Interlude - Good. It works

Verse3 - Good

Pre-chorus - same old

Chorus - same old

Interlude - Great!

Solo2 - Again, like solo 1, it has serious headbanging potential, but there are too many breaks

Verse4 - Good

Pre-chorus - same old

Chorus - same old

Outro - Pretty good!

Overall - Fun song, the pre-chorus/chorus parts were a bit too repetitive, and the solos have some serious headbanging potential if you go all-out

Thanks for the crit!
All is ghost in memory and poison in the sun
Quote by slipknotnskullz
Btw, wht does dissonant mean??

melancholic, lacking traditional harmony
"Our revenge so everlasting sweet,
Enslave your Children, Behead the weak,
Kill every last Man, Woman and Machine
The cleansing has begun.
Your meek defense is foolish,
we come from the stars a trillion strong."
Crit as we go...

Creepy Intro: This would sound better in 7/8 or 3/4

Heavy Intro: Im sorry but this sounds really metalcore, and I dont really like it that much...

Verse 1: gets better but still very metalcore.

Pre-chorus: more Metalcore !!!!!

Im really hoping this sounds better live, cuz this, I hate sound like a jerk, but it does not sound very good.

The verses go on really long. Try mixing those up a little.

Pre Chorus 2: This is starting to get old.

Solo 2: This is pretty good, just has a few wrong notes though.

After this it gets pretty reppetitive and just boring for me.

Overall, really generic, metalcorish, I would have liked it better with more distortion and really heavy drums. I give it 5.5-6/10.

Crit the one in my sig?
Last edited by YesterdaysToday at Aug 2, 2010,
METALCORE?! wth??? i ********************* hate metalcore, and one of my metalcore addict friend can tell you that its not metalcore in any way.

I'll crit yours, but i warn you, i hate death metal too :P
You know how theres a fine line between melodeath and metalcore? I was saying that with my music editor it sounded a lot like metalcore, but live, with the right effects (a lot of distortion) and some drums it would no longer sound like metalcore. I guess I just got my point across wrong.