#1
Hey guys, I was dedicated to actually writing a piece that feels like an actual piece and not like a jam on steroidz, so I've spent quite some time on, well, this song. It doesn't have a name yet. I wrote everything, including drums (I'm notoriously known for my horrid GP5 drumming career, haha), so I am really anxious to hear some opinions about this

It's fast, heavy, it has a solo, and it's quite an epic feel to it.

C4C as usual!
Attachments:
riiff.gpx
riiff.gp5
Yeah
Last edited by TehDutchDude at Jul 30, 2010,
#2
Needs work, the riffs sound raw and still very unrefined. Also learn about writing drums, before making an attempt. Seriously, it's annoying listening to horrible drum writing.
I'm a musician/composer before I'm a guitar player.

foREVer


R.I.P Jimmy "The Reverend Tholomew Plague" Sullivan.
#3
Yuck, no markers

Intro was good.

First verse was pretty good.

26-29 sound awkward.

30-45 are nice and catchy.

46-54 - good transitional part.

55-62 was pretty good.

62-end was weird, because I was expecting the solos to come, but instead it went verse/outro. I thought 55-62 was simply a lead, and not the solo.

Overall: Pretty good, headbangable stuff, I'd extend it and add some more solos later on.

Thanks for the crit!
All is ghost in memory and poison in the sun
#4
dont know if this is a placebo effect because of your avatar, but intro was very AJFA-era metallica to me.

anyways, after the intro, solid thrash riffing with some lightning fast lead licks. I like it. Simple but effective! I like the break after and the leads as well. Drums don`t sound half bad for the most part, either

The intro used to end the thing sounded smooth, and overrall, the riffing sounds smooth and makes sense, rather than sounding like random riffs put together. The only thing that bothered me were the drums in the section starting from bar 47- I think it sounds much more fitting with the snare only hitting once per bar, on the third quarter beat
#5
Quote by piratemetalhead
dont know if this is a placebo effect because of your avatar, but intro was very AJFA-era metallica to me.

anyways, after the intro, solid thrash riffing with some lightning fast lead licks. I like it. Simple but effective! I like the break after and the leads as well. Drums don`t sound half bad for the most part, either

The intro used to end the thing sounded smooth, and overrall, the riffing sounds smooth and makes sense, rather than sounding like random riffs put together. The only thing that bothered me were the drums in the section starting from bar 47- I think it sounds much more fitting with the snare only hitting once per bar, on the third quarter beat


And this is why guitarists should never evaluate drums.
I'm a musician/composer before I'm a guitar player.

foREVer


R.I.P Jimmy "The Reverend Tholomew Plague" Sullivan.
#7
Quote by piratemetalhead
if you feel like you could be arsed to, feel free to criticize my drums on my new piece (in sig)


They're not good either. Seriously, arranging skills need work. And that's just overall, even some of your guitar lines need to be arranged. Ugh, but I guess I shouldn't expect much from people who are more about playing, rather than properly composing.
I'm a musician/composer before I'm a guitar player.

foREVer


R.I.P Jimmy "The Reverend Tholomew Plague" Sullivan.
#8
Thanks for the feedback everyone! It's still a work in progress, I'm definitely am going to add some more interesting lead licks.

About the drums: aaaaaaaaaaah, first when I created tabs etc. the critique mainly involved one of these two sentences:
- You should add drums. - But I'm no drummer. - Doesn't matter, still add them for the sake of completeness.
- It sounds inconsistent, like the riffs aren't connected properly.

I tried working on both of these points of critique, but seeing as I am simply not a drummer, the drums will always stay quirky. I added them for the sake of completeness, not to actually boast around with my 1337 drumming skillz. For me it's all about the guitar parts, the way the riffs interact with each other. If you don't like the drums, simply mute them and then please tell me what's right or wrong about the guitar parts That way I can improve my "trade" as a guitarist
Yeah
Last edited by TehDutchDude at Jul 31, 2010,
#9
its like old metallica with the tiniest touch of tech death, but a lot less mature. You need a little fine tuning on your rhythm sections. Bass doesn't always have to play high notes when the guitars do. The drums crash cymbals sound empty without a bass drum to fill it, and some of the beats where just odd.

You've also placed weird dynamics around the song that really disrupt the flow. It gets quiet and weak in random places for no reason. work on changing volume and power to your advantage when transitioning and such.

you got potential, practice your ass off.
#10
Thanks man I will!

By the way: I never really listened to old style metallica, haha.
Yeah
Last edited by TehDutchDude at Jul 31, 2010,
#11
Beginning is pretty awesome, After that it keeps the awesomeness going until Bar 29, i think that the last 3 notes of bar 29 r messed up. The rest is really good. I like all the melodic parts alot.

Thnx for the crit
#12
Quote by TehDutchDude
Thanks for the feedback everyone! It's still a work in progress, I'm definitely am going to add some more interesting lead licks.

About the drums: aaaaaaaaaaah, first when I created tabs etc. the critique mainly involved one of these two sentences:
- You should add drums. - But I'm no drummer. - Doesn't matter, still add them for the sake of completeness.
- It sounds inconsistent, like the riffs aren't connected properly.

I tried working on both of these points of critique, but seeing as I am simply not a drummer, the drums will always stay quirky. I added them for the sake of completeness, not to actually boast around with my 1337 drumming skillz. For me it's all about the guitar parts, the way the riffs interact with each other. If you don't like the drums, simply mute them and then please tell me what's right or wrong about the guitar parts That way I can improve my "trade" as a guitarist


hey man good song you got here ,

but you gotta keep remembering that , its not easy learning all the skills that are required to write music , it takes a huuuge amount of time to get everything "nailed"

and even than it will probably still be basic , but thats just what it is , the more you practice it the better you get with it , and this is very important since when 1 thing in your song sounds off or crap it can ruin the whole thing.

so my tip would be to keep practicing with every aspect that you suck at so you can get it on the same level as the rest of your abilities.

only than will you be able to write good music , its all about pushing yourself instead of saying "nah i suck at that im not gonna try" because than you will never learn ..

oh and if you need any help or opinions just let me know man ! thats what fellow countryman do for one another
Last edited by MobiuZ at Jul 31, 2010,
#13
Like someone said before I hear a lot of AJFA era Metallica in that but also some core influences. I enjoy the main riff thing quite a bit and all of the melodies are good...even the solo is pretty decent.

This song seems to been written with vocals in mind so it would help tremendously to have a vocal melody in there since you have a lot of whole note chords.

As for the thing you say about the drums. I am also no drummer so when I do drums I just usually try to make a rough cut of them so the song sounds complete. Drums just make the song sound fuller as a whole so any bit will help.

Also, keep at it with the songwriting and it will improve drastically. The more you write, the better you will become at it.
#14
Bad drums are worst than no drums at all. Honestly if you can't write for drums, learn to. It's not necessarily about being a drummer, but being able to understand the music from a drummer's perspective. In the end it makes you a better guitar player for it.
I'm a musician/composer before I'm a guitar player.

foREVer


R.I.P Jimmy "The Reverend Tholomew Plague" Sullivan.
#15
Where can I find some info about how to write good drumming sections then? I wish to be good at writing songs, I'm practising my butt of haha, everyday I write at least one riff which I find useable. And I'll keep on practising Thanks for the encouraging words guys! I'm all ears, I'm here to learn!
Yeah
Last edited by TehDutchDude at Aug 1, 2010,
#16
Quote by TehDutchDude
Where can I find some info about how to write good drumming sections then? I wish to be good at writing songs, I'm practising my butt of haha, everyday I write at least one riff which I find useable. And I'll keep on practising Thanks for the encouraging words guys! I'm all ears, I'm here to learn!

I'm going to include a crit with this, but I'd like to tell you what I did to get good with drums. I learned from people here. Zak, JR, Progbass, nbgreat, Carl, JazzDeath, they've all got great drums. I really just listen to them, and look at what they did for a section if I liked it a lot. I'll then try and implement that into my music.

Also listen to the drums specifically in songs (on the radio/wherever else). Listen for how it plays with the other instruments. The bass and drums are often connected somewhere. I analyze how the drums work in certain songs/sections and incorporate that into my writing. If I wanted to, I could pinpoint certain sections in my songs and tell you the influences for the drumming.

I've never played drums once.

Onto the crit!

The main riff is in serious need of drive. Add some double bass! The drums aren't horrible, they just don't add anything and make it feel like it's dragging. This calls for some good old school thrash drumming.

The intro riff reminds me a lot of X JAPAN. I think after 4 bars, a bass arpeggio would add a bit of speed to the song and give it some drive. The tremolo riffing stuff I'm not a big fan of... they seem a bit hollow to me and just kind of thrown in. Is that the "chorus" section?

The solo was alright. It got good when it picked up speed a bit. The bad part about it was the backing. It had no drive. I've noticed that's a big part lacking from this song. Drive. It needs it. Bad. Especially since it sounds like old style thrash.

That one riff fits better right after the solo though! It transitions nicely.

The main issue is drive. You need it. Just start analyzing some drums and listening to them and you'll get it in time. It takes practice. A lot of practice. The guitar work was fine, it just seemed a bit sloppy in some places (namely the tremolo sections). It was alright.

7/10

C4C? Defining a Heavenly Body in my sig!