#1
so this is a song i wrote for my girlfriend after she moved away she seemed to like it but she's a bit biased what you guys think


i caught a glimpse of the faintest smile,
seven years later it's taking a while,
still not sure if my trust is well placed
but baby if i find out i'll try to remember your face

'cause i just wanna hold you but i can't,
'cause baby when i hold you i know that i'm the only one there

a couple times i heard you say
"why can't you just get further away" well
i only would if i wanted to so i'll
stick myself on with metaphorical glue

'cause i just wanna hold you but i can't,
'cause baby when i hold you i know i am the only one there
so throw all of my flowers in the sky,
and keep them from the ground until they wither and die

a bottle or two resting on your side
a couple of words laced with cyanide,
afterwards you say it's all finefine
but i worry that this is all gonna die

'cause i just wanna hold you but i can't,
'cause baby when i hold you i know i am the only one there
so throw all of my flowers in the sky,
and keep them from the ground until they wither and die
'cause i just wanna hold you but i can't,
'cause baby when i hold you i know i am the only one there
so throw all of my flowers in the sky,
and keep them from the ground until they wither and die
Ben

GEAR:
Squier Vintage Modified Telecaster Deluxe
Squier Vintage Modified Jaguar
Blackstar ht-5 head
Blackstar ht-408 cab
Landola V72 Acoustic
Seymour Duncan Woody SC

Quote by lolometer1
Wanna be sex buddies?
Quote by housemd
nope.
Last edited by lolometer1 at Jul 30, 2010,
#2
Umm I like it bro, just you need to work a little more on your writing style, it seems kind of generic. Like it seems as if it were something on the radio I would hear Justin Bieber singing. Like there is emotion in it, but it seems like its someone else's emotions.

Does that make sense?
#3
yeah i've been trying to work on that, like being more cryptic and stuff but i'm not too good at thinking of metaphors and things
Ben

GEAR:
Squier Vintage Modified Telecaster Deluxe
Squier Vintage Modified Jaguar
Blackstar ht-5 head
Blackstar ht-408 cab
Landola V72 Acoustic
Seymour Duncan Woody SC

Quote by lolometer1
Wanna be sex buddies?
Quote by housemd
nope.
#4
Yea, but like the idea is completely awesome. Like I can relate to this 100% from what I perceived of it. I just get the feel that it was written for some boy band or something like that.
#5
yeah when i was singing it to myself it had sort of like a biffy clyro sound to it :P
Ben

GEAR:
Squier Vintage Modified Telecaster Deluxe
Squier Vintage Modified Jaguar
Blackstar ht-5 head
Blackstar ht-408 cab
Landola V72 Acoustic
Seymour Duncan Woody SC

Quote by lolometer1
Wanna be sex buddies?
Quote by housemd
nope.