#1
well this is it, its very for the fallen dreams, hence the name. im sure ill hear that its just metalcore and its boring no one likes it ect. but have a whack at it
its finished but still up for editing/adding to it
and of course c4c =)

listen to the update!!!
Attachments:
fallen.zip
fallen update.zip
Last edited by envoykrawkwar7 at Aug 4, 2010,
#2
Hardcore music sucks!

Totally kidding man. Here I go.

Bars 1-16
Classic FtFD. Good way to start out the song man. Definitely set's the pace. Try being a little more creative in your layerings though.

17-20
Good Transitioning into the next riff. Throw some cool layerings over the riff though. Have one guitar playing the riff, and the other guitar do some layering stuff over the same chords.

21-33
Not a huge fan of this section, but whatever floats your boat. It goes along good with the song though.

34-37
Try beign a little more inventive with your breakdowns, or it's ognna get to the point of, all breakdowns in songs sounding the exact same.

40-54
When you do this riff, instead of constantly going up the neck of the guitar, trying going for the 8, to the 10, then to the 5, then to the 12. It creates more dynamics in the song.

57-68
This sounds quite generic, but it goes a long with the song, so not a huge problem if you're going for that kind of style.

69-76
Sweet layering. Good rhythm's, and good note choices.

77-94
Great build up and really heavy breakdown. Really sweet man.

96-104
Generic breakdown. But could lead stuff you're doing over it.

105-112
Sweet solo. wasn't really expecting that, which is good. Wasn't overly wanking off either, just got the job done, and still sounded good.

113-119
Same riff as before. Could you some layering over here.

120-123
Didn't like this much really at all. You should of just done some chord ringing out stuff like For the Fallen Dreams usually does.

124-135
Classic hardcore riff. Could be a little more inventive, but again, it does the job done, and whatever floats your boat.

136-147
Sweet outro. You should keep it going and let is fade out though. I think that would end the song better. You should let some of the notes ring into each other as well.

overall, 7/10
It kept me relatively interested, but wasn't exactly doing anything special at the same time.

C4C?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=24864138#post24864138

It's the same sort of Melodic Hardcore songs, feel free to review anyone you like.
#3
yeah i realized its very generic to the genre, but that was exactly what i was aiming for, sadly generic sells, but that was exactly what i was thinking with the outro, im definatley gonna change that now
#4
Quote by envoykrawkwar7
yeah i realized its very generic to the genre, but that was exactly what i was aiming for, sadly generic sells, but that was exactly what i was thinking with the outro, im definatley gonna change that now


It's quite unfortunate. The new spawn of Melodic hardcore bands is going to take off very soon. Up here in Canadia, (haha) we have a lot of great hardcore acts, like Structures, Counterparts, A Textbook Tragedy, Kingdoms, Holly Springs Disaster... that are really pioneering the genre. And it's getting noticed by major record companies as well. I'm not sure how the Melodic hardcore scene is in the US of A, but us canadians can sure spawn off some good melo hardcore acts. 2/5 of Misery Signals ARE Canadian afterall
#5
Quote by metul kult
It's quite unfortunate. The new spawn of Melodic hardcore bands is going to take off very soon. Up here in Canadia, (haha) we have a lot of great hardcore acts, like Structures, Counterparts, A Textbook Tragedy, Kingdoms, Holly Springs Disaster... that are really pioneering the genre. And it's getting noticed by major record companies as well. I'm not sure how the Melodic hardcore scene is in the US of A, but us canadians can sure spawn off some good melo hardcore acts. 2/5 of Misery Signals ARE Canadian afterall

well where im from [midwest usa] all the melodic metalcore is ftfd and ms, im actualy from about 15minutes away from where misery signals lives, but i did not know that 2 of them are from canada haha, but i guess the more you know
#6
Quote by envoykrawkwar7
well where im from [midwest usa] all the melodic metalcore is ftfd and ms, im actualy from about 15minutes away from where misery signals lives, but i did not know that 2 of them are from canada haha, but i guess the more you know


Yeah man, Karl and Bad Ass Stu are both from the land up north.
I think the whole Melo Hardcore scene's gonna blow up though. You know when Attack Attack is ripping off your music, you're onto something
#7
Quote by metul kult
You know when Attack Attack is ripping off your music, you're onto something

omg.
quoted.
#9
Let's crit this one!

The beginning is good but you can improve a lots drums part. Here it's the weakest point.

At bar 25, it doesnt' flow that well. It's either the rhytm of the riff, its repetition or the drums part. Don't know which one you should improve. But it soudns to me like the song goes a bit abrupt here.

Another problem, the breakdown doesn't have its impact when it kicks in. Here improve the transition and not the part itself because it's pretty good.

The whole transition 38-39 is a bit awkward. It doesn't sound natural.

48-54: add a lead here because it sounds a bit empty. Moreover, the riff isn't that great - at least when played alone.

The lead at bars 69-76 is good but here (= in GPro), it sounds a bit bad. Remeber to give substance to this part.

Then I suggest you to remove bars 82-86 and rework the transition because here it's just bad.

Then the weakest part of the song:
-shorten 120-123 it sounds too long.
- the foolowing riff is generic even if you wrote some good fills. Change it.
- 132-133 doesn't fit if you don't add things.

Eventually the ending ends badly. Try to change this.


I don't want to sound rude even if there are lots of crit but I choose this song today because I like it mostly. You did a great job but you need more experience in writing transitions.

C4C? I'm curious to hear you :
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=24839161#post24839161
#10
Thanks for the crit broski! I appreciate it!

1-20
Alright for starters I think you should add a drum fill on the second bar of the song, would sound deadly. When the second guitar comes in, you should harmonize it, would make it sound less bland. I do like when the second guitar breaks of into a little chord rhythm. sounds really cool.

21-33
The next riff is a nice change up from the rhythm, cool chords here too. I do agree with the crit above me that it doesn't flow well at 25. I'm not too sure what you could do to improve to make it sound good though

34-37
Awesome breakdown man, but on the repeat you should add some bends or a harmonic, that would be sick. A slide a quarter note before the breakdown, and a bass drop on the beat would make it (generic, yes ), but also ****ing beastly. It gives it an unexpected quality.

38-39
For this transition here, just move the sixteenths to the end of the bar and it flows much better.

40-55
I don't like this riff at all, sorry, it's really bland, the rhythm is really lame, and the chord progression doesn't build any tension, it's just boring. this section could do with some improvement. maybe something like this. (with a lead too maybe)

56-68
Te simple transition at the beginning is good flows well, and I like this riff, but the 5/4 could use a drum fill. and it keeps flowing well to next part

69-76
I love this! this is so awesome, sounds real evilish.

77-81
First time I listened the 5/8 sounded forced, but it actually flows really nicely. Nothing bad here

82-86
remove this. its sounds completely different from the breakdown itself and makes the breakdown sound awkward

87-94
Now this part of the breakdown doesn't need the top note on the chord. once again it makes the next part sound awkward and it's unnecessary

96-103
This is good with a good transition, and a pretty awesome lead. No complaints.

104-118
This part is awesome. The solo changes the riff enough to keep you interested. And you actually have the harmonies sounds really good

119-123
This is bad. Real bad. not sure what you could do, but this has to be changed.

124-135
This is a great heavy riff and it flows very well into the outro. Only thing here is that when you have the bass only it should go on for longer. But great riff otherwise

136-148
Like I said previously, this flows perfectly from the riff right before it. This is a nice outro but ends to abruptly. just add something to make it sound more like the song is ending, rather than just ending it.

Overall, I really enjoyed some of this song, there were a few bad parts but hopefully you can fix those . Most of it is just nitpicky details

8/10
Attachments:
anidea.gp5
#11
Doing my Crit now.

It definitely did sound like For the Fallen Dreams, which isn't bad.

9 is where I truly got into the song. It didn't even honestly sound like 4/4 to me to begin with it.

17 is so sick It's like a chorus I guess? I love the chordage that you use it's definitely melodic lol.

34 the breakdown reminds me of Counterparts (UK), I don't know if you've heard of them.

40-56 was kinda bland though... Sorry but I'm sure vocals would clean taht up.

57 was great, I liked how it was off standard progressing remind me of like August Burns Red. Then followed by the dissonant part I liked it.

The part at 77 could've been so much more if you didn't give up on it so quickly like maybe one repeat.

82-85 should be cut out and let the heavy part go.

100 is sick lol. it's sooo melodic it's spinebreaking.

119-123 though no. Sorry no. lol

124 YES! Heaviness ftw. Except it pauses oddly. Which I sort of disliked.

136 sounded good. But you could've done a little more with it when the harmonizing came in.
Overall....7.3/10 Which is good.

C4C again? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1346688
PSN: RokkstarX
Live: RokkyX

All my original (C4C) material is located here.
#12
thanks you guys, ill get to my crits back right now, and also ive now included an update where i fixed somethings to make it sound better
i still wanna add a vocal track but alas i cant write melodies for vocals =(

edit: i didnt see your add on, i like that, i may change to that in a future update, it fits well, thanks you
Quote by metul kult
You know when Attack Attack is ripping off your music, you're onto something


twitter: @victorstaygold
Last edited by envoykrawkwar7 at Aug 4, 2010,