#1
Two degrees of fear
Cast across these Walls
This is only a test
Nothing can go wrong

Hard to stay awake
Watching you breathe
Your mind cast far away
In unfamiliar fantasy

Your body tries to warn you
But your thoughts are preoccupied
The cold starts to crawl through
And there's nowhere left to hide

Lock your door
Hold on tight
No ones going to
Save you tonight

I won't be your saviour
I won't be your martyr
I won't be your hero
In pristine armour
I won't be your favour
I won't be your constant
I won't be your sanity
when you need it most

Time to fend for yourself
In this hostile eternity
You can't let go here
You'll be lost forever

You're choking on this fixation
This undignified recreation
your four walls are caving in
But there's nowhere left to hide

Lock your door
And hold on tight
No ones going to
Save you tonight
Your eyes light up
Youre Petrified
But you can't escape
You're paralyzed

and theres nothing left to lose
nobody worth waiting for
this hostile eternity
where you belong
Last edited by lukkyluke at Jan 7, 2011,
#2
I believe this is a fine song.
Personally I love it.
I would keep test. It will sound nice with the words around it, and it's such a smooth word.
I would remove self in "This pure (change word) self recreation."
[:
#3
thanks for the help, i was writing this on my ipod pretty quickly and couldnt think of much to continue it with, i will edit it some later on when i can think of more to add in
#4
8/10 pretty solid. I liked it alot
Please call me Rainer, was 16 and empty minded when I made my profile.

Sometimes I talk to myself too...but never on the internet.
#5
Quote by lukkyluke
Two degrees of fear
Cast across these Walls
^Love these two lines
This is only a test
Nothing can go wrong

Hard to stay awake
Watching you breathe
Your mind cast far away
^Great line
In unfamiliar fantasy

Your body tries to warn you
But your thoughts are preoccupied
The cold starts to crawl through
And there's nowhere left to hide

Lock your door
Hold on tight
^I thought this was a little bland, maybe "Close your eyes", I dunno, first thing off the top of my head
No ones going to
Save you tonight

I won't be your saviour
I won't be your martyr
I won't be your hero
In pristine armour
I won't be your favour
I won't be your constant
I won't be your sanity
when you need it most
I like the first three lines, but then it's just seems kind of repetitive, but that's just me of course

Time to fend for yourself
Don't really like this line
In this hostile eternity
You can't let go here
You'll be lost forever

You're choking on this fixation
This undignified recreation
your four walls are caving in
But there's nowhere left to hide

Lock your door
And hold on tight
No ones going to
Save you tonight
Your eyes light up
Youre Petrified
But you can't escape
You're paralyzed

and theres nothing left to lose
nobody worth waiting for
this hostile eternity
where you belong


Overall, this is really awesome, what kind of song is it?

Keep up the good work!


C4C?

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1480159

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1480160
Guitars:
-Gibson Les Paul Custom Shop Silverburst (Invader/'59)
-Fender Standard Telecaster HH Black (SH-5/'59)
-Fender Standard Stratocaster HH White (Nazgul/'59)
-Austin Guitars Les Paul Goldtop Copy (Distortion/'59)
-Ovation ApplauseAE44II Elite Black Acoustic


Amps/Cabs
-Peavey 6505+
-Peavey Stereo Chorus 2x12 Combo
-Behringer Ultracoustic ACX450 1x8 Acoustic Combo
-Marshall MX2x12 Cabinet


Wayyyyy too many effects pedals...
#6
I'm with everyone else - I think it's awesome. It's got a nice ring to it, and it's got a "catchy" feel. I'd love to hear more about what type of song it would be.
"We weren’t too ambitious when we started out. We just wanted to be the biggest thing that ever walked the planet."
-- Steven Tyler