This my first song that I thought would be postable on UG

It's a work in progress and a suggestion for the end would be nice.

It's for the most part metal-core but it has some other genre's in there

I'd also like to point out that I don't play guitar, and don't know a lot about music in a theoretical sense.

However, if you leave a crit i'll crit you back to the best of my abilities


Alright I extended the solo for another 8 bars, but I still don't have any ideas for the end.

I also added GP4 in the .zip file
Metalcoreish extended solo.zip
Last edited by Fdelo2134 at Aug 5, 2010,
Intro: Not much to say really. The transition to the Bridge was great though.

Bridge: Kind of generic riff but the drumming is great.

Breakdown: Very Generic breakdown (not that generic is bad)

Chorus 1: C an't say anything bad about this.

Bridge: Very nice riff although the change to clean feels forced

Verse/Clean "Solo": I liked how you used the same parts from the intro. The lead was nice too.

Verse P2: Not much to say, Very breakdownish.

Chorus 2: Goes on for far too long although the lead bit was nice.

Overall: 8/10 Good drumming throughout although it gets generic at times.
C4C? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?p=24878376#post24878376
very grabbing intro, especially the drop b part =)
those chords are hell to play though, i like that
the bridge is very generic, but its exactly what you need, generic is this genres focal point
the brekdown i really like, the rhythm you put it to feels very natural
then that transition to chorus plays out really well, and it sounds very original to me, its nice
the chorus itself would be a thing of beauty in a metalcore world
from there it just gets better, and strangely reminds me a lot of mychildren, mybride, but thats a good thing
my only problem is the solo feels a little bland, idk why, and the song is a little short, mabey make it a little longer and itd be perfect
awesome song

c4c? https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1344863
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Intro is cool. I'm sure it would sound much better on an actual acoustic guitar rather than GP's distorted guitar though.

The bridge riff is really cool. I really like it, it's just a good riff.

Breakdown was solid, nothing more, nothing less. Good rhythm.

I like the chorus a lot. I can imagine clean vocals over the rop of that would sound great. The transition into the bridge is a little abrupt though, the dissonant chord throws it off. The bridge itself is again just a solid metalcore riff.

That solo part is weird. It's way too short to stay as it is - either lengthen it or cut it out entirely.

Verse is just a breakdown. Solid, once again.

I like the way you're using different chords in the chorus. Once again, would sound excellent with a clean vocal over the top, I think. The lead is good too, and I like the way the drums go into a double bass run towards the end. Stops it getting too boring.

Overall, a good solid song. The riffs were enjoyable, and I liked the different chords you used. Just do something about that clean/solo section and it'll be even better.

Thanks for the crits everybody! I do agree with you guys that the solo is bad, I suck at writing solos. All of your crits are returned as well.
Solos i thought were pretty decent. i wished they were longer

good stuff man i liked it alot