#1
Its the song Knowing on my profile. As always, its C4C. If you get any lyrical ideas, PM me... I'm running dry, but I'm working. Any help with what it sounds like, or any images it may invoke are greatly appreciated.

Here:
http://profile.ultimate-guitar.com/L2112Lif/
#2
I think you need to re-record this track completely. That overdriven guitar doesn't fit the song at all. The bass could use a lot more character and the bassline has a few notes that are a bit too dissonant for my taste. The main problem though is the complete lack of groove. The intro sounds vaguely like a train wreck and the guitars go in and out of time throughout the track (especially the overdriven part is so stiff it hurts). Same for the bass, coming into the 2nd verse it just completely collapses the beat.

The idea as such isn't bad, I love the moving bassline for what I assume is the chorus, and with a good melody it could be a decent tune.
"If money is the root of all evil, I'd like to be a bad, bad man."

- Huey Lewis & the News
#4
Yeah, I essentially agree with what the above gentleman said. However, since he made you aware of it, I won't repeat it Your (Neil Young) cover is fine, so I know you have the ability!

The song structure is okay, though it's hard to tell without any kind of vocal line. I'd recommend trimming the lenght a little bit maybe; cut the intro, and just go straight to a verse?

For lyrics, I'd just focus on what you're trying to evoke with the song. While I'm no great lyricist myself, I've found that usually just singing what ever comes to your head while playing the chords yields a few lines that are worth building a song around. It takes some practice though, but if nothing else, is great at parties!

I don't feel like I did enough to ask this, but C4C?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1345776
-------

"So if 'con' is the opposite of 'pro', then isn't 'congress' the opposite of 'progress'?"
- John Stewart, Daily Show
#5
Quote by L2112Lif
I intend on doing that, once I get decent equipment. Right now, I'm dealing with one input at a time, and the drums are programmed, which is something I HATE doing, and also accounts for why most of what I have on my profile is stripped down.


The drum programming isn't the culprit, even if that part is a little stiff as well, it's the performance. I gave the "advice" I had because the only lyrical theme that I could muster was train wreck since that's how it sounds. Recording this with a proper groove and overall more attention to the sounds chosen will certainly evoke other images that might be more relevant. Crappy equipment isn't a reason for a lackluster performance.

This is a general point I feel the need to make and it's not aimed at this particular track. Why, oh why, do people post recordings here asking for advice when a) they claim the idea isn't compete; b) they claim that things will be recorded properly later (and thus don't need to hear about production issues); c) claim that they didn't really take their best shot at the parts because they hadn't the time or had crappy equipment? If the song/idea is worth recording it's worth taking the time to make sure parts are in time and in tune. Seriously, it's your artistic statement.

Sorry to throw that in this thread. Maybe I should just put that part in my signature...
"If money is the root of all evil, I'd like to be a bad, bad man."

- Huey Lewis & the News
#6
Quote by ebon00
The drum programming isn't the culprit, even if that part is a little stiff as well, it's the performance. I gave the "advice" I had because the only lyrical theme that I could muster was train wreck since that's how it sounds. Recording this with a proper groove and overall more attention to the sounds chosen will certainly evoke other images that might be more relevant. Crappy equipment isn't a reason for a lackluster performance.

This is a general point I feel the need to make and it's not aimed at this particular track. Why, oh why, do people post recordings here asking for advice when a) they claim the idea isn't compete; b) they claim that things will be recorded properly later (and thus don't need to hear about production issues); c) claim that they didn't really take their best shot at the parts because they hadn't the time or had crappy equipment? If the song/idea is worth recording it's worth taking the time to make sure parts are in time and in tune. Seriously, it's your artistic statement.

Sorry to throw that in this thread. Maybe I should just put that part in my signature...


Thats the reason most people post in this thread, is for feedback on what they're doing, not what they've done. I don't come in here to get hit over the head with how crappy it sounds, or how it sounds like a disjoint performance, although at this point I'm seriously considering scrapping anything electric and just going back to an acoustic guitar and voice. Perhaps I'll re-record this that way, completely stripped, and work back up from there.

Look, if it bothers you so much that people come here for a critique on their work while they're doing it, why not go somewhere else? Personally, I feel that it is the fault of the drums, because I got positive feedback from another version of the song from the same basic tracks without the drums.

I know about the production issues, I'm not good at mixing and I'm pretty much in the hole monetarily so I can't do much about that right now. Money is also the reason that I can't get a decent sound out of anything. I thought I'd take a bit of time out of trying to find a job and throw this up here to see its reception, but I guess that everything needs to be a finished product. And telling me to go and re-record the whole thing isn't very constructive, that kind of advice hurts like hell. Let me make that determination, tell me individual problems, rather than that the whole thing is a piece of shit.
Last edited by L2112Lif at Aug 2, 2010,
#7
Quote by L2112Lif
Personally, I feel that it is the fault of the drums, because I got positive feedback from another version of the song from the same basic tracks without the drums.


Adding drums after the fact, even if the rest of the instruments are tracked to a click track, is almost always a losing cause. All the more reason to re-track.

Quote by L2112Lif
Let me make that determination, tell me individual problems, rather than that the whole thing is a piece of shit.


Allow me to reiterate:

  • The overdriven guitar has a sound that's wrong for the song (IMO).
  • The bass is lacking character and has a couple of bum notes (IMO).
  • You're lacking a groove that could make this track move. At no point in this track do I feel like nodding my head or tapping my foot to the beat and that means there's no groove.


These things taken together makes me suggest that you re-track. You can't fix these things by any other means. Personally I think this qualifies as constructive criticism but feel free to ignore any and all advice I have to offer.
"If money is the root of all evil, I'd like to be a bad, bad man."

- Huey Lewis & the News
Last edited by ebon00 at Aug 2, 2010,
#8
L2112,
I didn't see "Knowing" in your profile, so I'm reviewing "Cinnamon Girl" (one of my favorite Neil Young songs). Most of the time, the guitars sound very good. Vocals always sound quite good (but things get shakey at the bridge). Most of the drums are good, but occasionally indecisive. Overall it's a good recording. Please review my music at this link:

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1344496