#1
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck it

she thought:
she liked the way he looked when he's pissed off
and those black circles under his eyes
but she's doing her hair for somebody else
and at 4am he would sleep in anybody's bed

it starts:
with a kiss, turn off the lights, pressure on his lap

he walked her home when she was drunk
on his 18th birthday
he held her hand in his with both
inside his jacket pocket

it ends:
without a word.
just another slice of her self esteem missing
and his fingers jammed in the cookie jar.
#2
I like that it has a story to it and that it seems pretty angry, think sometimes angry lyrics are the most truthful. I liked this one the best...

she liked the way he looked when he's pissed off
and those black circles under his eyes
but she's doing her hair for somebody else
and at 4am he would sleep in anybody's bed

just curious if this is the makings of a song or something else,mind taking a look at mine..


https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1345963
#3
The final stanza cleanly wrapped this up and is easily the best stanza. The first three are well written but unremarkable. They lacked power and care, carrying a sense of cliche-ism (yeah, I just made that up ) and something that just feels whiny. It's not bad, I've just seen your other works and know you are capable of much more.


c4c?
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1345535