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#1
So I was hiking in the woods here in the south east USA, in 105 degree weather at night by myself (ya I'm a maniac, what can I say), for a good 4 hours.... up and down these massive hills. To give you an idea of how steep they were... I had to use a pickaxe to pull myself up them, mountain climbing style. Anyways, all I had was a POS compass that kept giving me wrong readings and a car GPS (hardly ideal for hiking in the woods)... but eventually I managed to hear a car so I headed that direction... Keep in mind I was EXHAUSTED at this point, out of water (and I'd brought a lot), and having to take a break every five minutes.

Anyways... it was pretty late at night... 10:30PM and this road was not well travelled, so I didn't hear any more traffic at all... I'm walking along, thinking I'm headed back to the road and to my car, when I suddenly slip down a 60 foot slope into a massive river (about 200 yards across I'd say). I was slipping around like a maniac on the sediment and my flashlight immediately fell out of my hand into the water. My glasses fell off too (I wear contacts most of the time but wear glasses to hike because if I get poked in the eye by a branch or something and it takes out my contact I'm basically blind). I'd also dropped my pickaxe. One shoe also fell off and since I had no light at all I couldn't find it... it's probably floating down the river right now. The GPS was soaked and of course destroyed. So all I had was one shoe, and one glove (the other was in my backpack but I was too scared to try to open it because I was holding on for dear life to a tree branch... the river is MUCH deeper just a few feet further in and I was so tired I'm pretty sure I would have drowned even though I can of course swim.

Luckily, the flashlight was waterproof, and I could see it shining about 4 feet from me underwater.... so I try to smoothly transition over to another tree branch closer to it.... but this one happens to be rotten and breaks off. I fall completely into the river, and the only thing that saved me was grabbing a small but tough root on the very edge of the slope. At this point I was calling out to God like a maniac (if you're atheist that's cool, but if you're ever in a situation where you think you're going to die... it might alter your perspective a bit), and yelling HELP as loud as I could. But I was in the middle of
nowhere basically (the road was a side-road and had like one car pass through it every 10 minutes during the DAYTIME. At night more like once an hour.

My arms were utterly exhausted from the earlier hill climbing and I was desperately trying to think about what to do. The flashlight was shining JUST brightly enough underwater that I could make out a few more branches. This time I got a solid one, and got the flashlight, stuck it in my mouth, and tried to decide what to do next. I tried climbing up right where I was, but it was an 80 degree slippery as hell incline and there were so many branches that I couldn't take hold of one without having one stab me in the chest or block me in some way. So I very cautiously move sideways down the river edge (I'm in the water at this point, but on the slippery sediment part, not actually where it drops off and is 30 feet deep), I grab another rotten branch and nearly fall slip in again but grab yet another tough root and pull myself up again. Finally I find what I think is a good spot to get up. It's still steep, probably 70 degrees, but there are several big chunks of wood that I thought I could use to get some leverage (not easy when you're missing a shoe and the other is soaked with mud). All of em turned out to be rotten but one though, and once again I'm hanging on for dear life.

I move further down the river sideways on the sediment, slipping a couple times but always trying to hold a branch while walking. Finally found a nice big tree with huge gnarly roots. Got up, crawled up my stomach. My arms were aching and I just barely pulled myself up. Walked another 30 minutes to the car and got home. Which btw, I got lucky with, cause my backpack had gotten unzipped and my keys were in there. It's pretty amazing they didn't fall out.

So ya, probably craziest experience so far in my life.
#3
SGT. HARTMAN: Where in hell are you from anyway, Private?
COWBOY: Sir, Texas, sir!
SGT. HARTMAN: Holy dogshit! Texas! Only steers and queers come from Texas, Private Cowboy! And you don't look much like a steer to me, so that kinda narrows it down!! Do you suck dicks!?
COWBOY: Sir, no, sir!
SGT. HARTMAN: Are you a peter-puffer!?
COWBOY: Sir, no, sir!
SGT. HARTMAN: I'll bet you're the kind of guy that would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around! I'll be watching you!!
#4
damn bro, congrats on being alive
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#5
tl;dr - TS slipped into a kiddie pool and came to tell us his harrowing tale.

Also congrats on living and stuff >_>
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#6
That was pretty intense. It had me eating my Fruit Loops like a madman.
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dwelling on past mishaps is for the weak. you must stride into the future, unabashed and prepared to fuck up yet again.
#7
nice hahaha, i have too many close encounters with death its scary, considering i'm only 16. today i was a few feet from getting hit by a huge boat while kayaking due to miscommunication. That's a pretty crazy adventure you had man, shit like that you can tell you grandchildren
#8
tl;dr: TS was atheist, but almost died, so now he realizes God exists.


EDIT: Whether any of this is true or not can't be known. If it's not bullshit, then damn that was actually a cool story and congrats on, well, being here.

Lesson: Don't hike and/or fall into a deep, dark river alone.
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Last edited by gatechballer at Aug 3, 2010,
#9
you are my hero
one day you will wish you had done a little evil, for a greater good
#11
Dude.. damn.. Grats on being alive. I'd offer you a steak dinner in congratulations if I could Still, hope the thought counts on being alive again
#13
And the first thing you did when you got home was post on UG? I'd have slept... Impressive however, lucky you.
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#14
Quote by ChucklesMginty
Please don't go there.

Anyways, congrats TS. Don't do stupid stuff again now?



haha I'm not, I don't care about personal beliefs. Everyone has their own.
It was a harmless joke about a very minor detail in the story, that had no effect whatsoever. Just a joke.......everything's gonna be alright. I promise.
Quote by sadSTATUE
Uhmmm... Well, apparently I was mentioned in a thread called "Japan and Lesbians."

Quote by Unknown_Biskit
Try typing "potatoes" with your dick then submit it.



My cover of Manchester Orchestra's "I Can Feel Your Pain"
http://www.mediafire.com/?jfvt54j4mkiiq99
#16
I read only the second-to-last paragraph.

Gonna read the rest now, as I've gone and confused myself.
#17
That was pretty cool. Glad to see you made it alive.
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#18
Damn dude, if this doesn't get you laid I don't know what will. Other than, you know, not being a pitmonkey. Also, congrats on being alive and stuff. Oh, and you're going to wake up tomorrow with Schwarzenneger sized biceps if this is true.
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one of the best, educated and logical posts I've ever seen on UG in the Pit. Well done good sir.
#21
Quote by Gyroscope

God damn you to hell, I was about to go to bed.

edit:

Read TS's story, that was pretty crazy. Bet you're ready to do it again next weekend, huh?
Last edited by -[NiL]- at Aug 3, 2010,
#22
Holy crap I couldn't stop reading that! Great story, tell it to your grandchildren some day
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#25
Great read TS. Congrats on making it out.

daytripper75

Bullieve


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#26
Holy hell. I'm super impressed, dude. I love hiking and whatnot, but after a little fall I've been gunshy of it. I was in the Grand Canyon on a rafting trip, and we stopped at a side canyon to go exploring. I was scaling a wall, and I fell, oh, 50 feet. Amazingly enough, I fell into a pool of water, so I was unharmed (barring being in some pain), but the experience still spooked me.

The southeast, you say? So you were hiking somewhere in the Appalachians? I live in the Great Smokey Mountains. If I may ask, what part were you hiking?
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#27
Good thing you had a water proof flashlight.

Cool story

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#28
Glad to hear that you got out alright. And I thought this thread was going to involve something with hobos with a knife
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#30
so kids, and what did we learn from this?

that's right, NEVER go hiking on your own. Seriously, I love hiking, but I'd never go alone and I always make sure that I know exactly where I'm going.
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#31
Quote by Spartan070sarge
Holy hell. I'm super impressed, dude. I love hiking and whatnot, but after a little fall I've been gunshy of it. I was in the Grand Canyon on a rafting trip, and we stopped at a side canyon to go exploring. I was scaling a wall, and I fell, oh, 50 feet. Amazingly enough, I fell into a pool of water, so I was unharmed (barring being in some pain), but the experience still spooked me.

The southeast, you say? So you were hiking somewhere in the Appalachians? I live in the Great Smokey Mountains. If I may ask, what part were you hiking?

Actually it was this random forest east of the Savannah River (though that's not the river I fell into thank God).

I like to sometimes just go to random spots where there aren't any trails and go. This place had a ton of hills like I said and looked challenging. And ya I know hiking by yourself at night is stupid, but, **** it, what's life without a little risk?
#33
Pretty heavy stuff. Good job getting out.

Bring someone with you next time, eh?

EDIT: Yeah, what he said ^
My name is Danny. Call me that.
#35
Congrats TS on delaying the inevitable.
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#36
Congratulations on surviving and all, and I don't mean to sound like an arse-hole but being more prepared might have stopped this. Like taking a map for example, a proper walking map is usually better than a gps (unles the gps already has walking maps programmed into it) because it tells you what the terrain is like, how steep drops are and general stuff like that. Also planning a route can help because you knackered yourself on the climb up and im guessing the hill had an easier accent route. May not be as exciting but at that time of night is usually the better option. But well done on not panicking and being sensible about getting out, I probably wouldn't have done as well.
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#37
Thats what happens when you go traipsing around the forest by yourself at night, at least you didn't die because I've heard many stories like that that turned out differently.
#38
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#39
Sir, you are the most badass person I've come across if this is true. Hiking alone, in the middle of the night, and you still came out of that in one piece. You are the kind of person that needs a medal.
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