#1
Yup, another song for that metalcore project I have going.

As with my last song, We Were Wrong, this is just a simple, fun metalcore song, very much like The Devil Wears Prada, Asking Alexandria, bands like that.

I KNOW it's generic. If you feel the need to tell me, don't. The point of this project is not to be super-original, it's to write some fun songs that I enjoy listening to and playing.

Any useful criticism will be returned if you link me to your song. Useful means you tell me what you like and didn't like about it - like I said, there's no point in calling it generic when that's what I'm aiming for.

Thanks in advance.

UPDATE:
- Added extended interlude to play with the keyboard melody more.
- Various other small changes

New file in post #5, just scroll down. Thanks
Attachments:
5gp.gp5
5midi.mid
Last edited by --ATREYUROCK-- at Aug 4, 2010,
#2
To be fair trying to find critisims in this piece is actually quite hard but i'll try spliting it up with what i liked and maybe what i think could be added.

Although you described this piece as "generic" your composing skills clearly shine through on this. Each section sounds very good by itself but clearly you are great at developing an idea. An example of this is between the introduction riff and the riff played during the verse, despite being similar it is clear that it has been developed and developed well.

During the verse and chorus the addition of the keyboard/synth chords certainly adds a unique characteristic. Perhaps this could have been expanded on more?

One thought that occurred to me while listening to this piece came at the very end while i heard that outro melody played by the keyboard/synth. It's just so hauntingly beautiful. But considering your composing skills perhaps you could have developed this idea eariler and made a keyboard/synth solo in order to give this metalcore piece a nice unique characteristic.

I'll just some up now. You clearly have great composing skills in writing riffs and developing a piece. Only critisisms which aren't really critisisms include expanding the keyboard/synth to perhaps write a solo. Also a guitar solo wouldn't go a miss, but been done so many times who cares.
#3
Thanks for the crit man!

Anyways here we go...

I really like the intro, it is generic but that really doesn't bother me, it's fun to listen to and sounds awesome!

I like the change in the drums and the bass drop in the pre verse, it seems to add some sort of build up, but to be honest it doesnt really need to be labeled preverse, it sounds like part of the intro

In the verse you have some nice synth to give it depth, and also an alternate picking run, but for the harmoniztion you venture out of the scale a bit which to be honest im not sure if I like it or not. personally i think it would sound better in the scale but that's just me

The bridge is kind of boring but the piano and octaves keep it interesting. good job here

Now the chorus starts of ok, but it's really bland after a bit, change up the octaves in the first part of the chorus and the repeat of it. I also don't like the slow section in between, just make the drums better and it should be fine.

Transition is good but too long take out the last 4 bars and it should be good. (keep the piano of course )

I am a fan of breakdowns, but this one...I don't know. it's good, just change the rhythm on guitar a bit, add a triplet or something, then I'd be fine with it. The piano is also a nice touch

Pre-verse is good, no complaints

I really like this verse a lot, really epic, but once again you go out of the scale in the little run you put and it sounds awful, put it back in the scale and it would be great.

Bridge does it's job, clearly needs vocals. If you want a slow piano part would be nice to, but it isn't absolutely neccesary

Now this transition is perfect. leads to the breakdown very fluently, it's not too long, just great.

I do like this breakdown better then the first one. the bass transitions nicely into the outro and to the end of the song

This song has has some really good parts, really cool piano and synth, but sometimes it's safe just to be boring and stay in the scale

Awesome job man!
8.5/10
#4
Ok here we go...

The beginning reminds me of something but I can't think of what...

I like the verse but the orchestra is a little loud yet uncreative, try throwing in some leads in the bass of it.

I like the bridge, and I like how sudden it is.

The chorus is cool but it needs some creative rythems, instead of straight eigths. It reminds me of ADTR.

I like the transition, but it needs some work. It is pretty uncreative and gets a little boring. Try throwing in a lead overtop.

Same with the breakdown. But I love the piano guitar thing.

92 sounds wierd, I think one of the notes is wrong.

The bridge reminds me of Underoath. I like it.

The transition is cool but too simplistic, same with the breakdown.

I love the outro and kind of wish the entire song was like this. Also, everything needs to be harmonized or something as there isn't enough depth in the song in my opinion. Overall... pretty good. I give it 8/10. Crit the one in my sig?
#5
Thanks for the crit everyone. I've read it all and made a few changes to the song, basically a big interlude with the keyboards, a few notes changes in the verse, nothing major other than the interlude.

New version is in the OP, and I'll attach to this post as well.

Thanks again, let me know what you think of the new version
Attachments:
Version 2.zip
#6
Yeah, it's pretty generic alright. No.. lead guitar, anywhere, at all? Drums are real simple, no real diversity. Keys are virtually non-existent. Not keen at all, personally, this is a cookie-cutter metalcore template and needs personality, and something unique or interesting putting over the top.
#7
I liked it! I'm a big metalcore fan, so I liked what you did here. I really enjoyed both breakdowns, especially the last one. The piano really ads some depth in there. Maybe some nice harmonies in the second verse or even in the main riff would add some more magic to this song, but overall I think it's quite good.

On a side note, thumbs up for the "it's generic, so what?" attitude. It's great you write and play everything you like to, generic or not.

The song in my sig "...Of Romeo and Juliet" is a lot like yours. Greatly inspired by The Devil Wears Prada. Check it out and crit it?
Quote by angusfan16

That penis guitar. Hell, i'd wank it.


UG's MEXICAN DRUMMER
#8
Intro - Good intro, I'd go with something more lead-y but that's just preference

Pre-verse - Maybe change something other than the drums to differentiate it more? It's not bad though

Verse - I like what you did with every 3rd/4th measure

Bridge - It's good, but I really think bar 40 should be different than 36

Chorus - Nice chorus

Breakdown - Well, I'll try to put my flagrant hatred of breakdowns aside here and be objective. It's a typical breakdown, not much to say

Verse - Second halves of bars 92/96/100/104 sound really bad

Bridge - Well, not much to say without hearing the vocal track. It's fine

Transition - Maybe change bar 128 a bit? The part is alright

Breakdown - Typical breakdown

Outro - Great part

Overall - Typical -core stuff here, it's alright but as someone who's not into the genre it's not going to keep me interested unless you go experimenting and adding in solos and leads and acoustic breaks and all that fun stuff. But as you said, it's a fun song that you want to have fun playing and it does that pretty well.
All is ghost in memory and poison in the sun
#9
Which TDWP song is this?

I'm joshing . It's okay, but to be honest it just sounded WAY too much like a TDWP or simple We Came As Romans song. I like how you try to incorporate instruments like keys that aren't overly common in metalcore, but you used them in the exact same way as TDWP. Also, the outro is pretty much Dogs Can Grow Beards All Over just with different notes/rhythms a bit.

It was catchy and effective for what it was, but I'd like to see something that's more your own opposed to such a bland approach.
We can only guffaw at all the humbug we are told about martyrs.