#1
C4C. Just something I wrote while experimenting with opiates for the first time a few days ago.

Knocking down the doors of your endless perception,
the steering wheel's broke, I'll direct your infections,
because we all know were too lazy to find a cure,
running as far away from myself as possible,
walls fall down when they are insecure.
Baby limbs, my womb is warm
uterine doors are cracked and torn.
Bring out the lynch,
my childhood escaped,
pinch me I'm nodding,
my smile has been raped.
And all the pictures are more potent,
than anything you deem important,
climbing up the walls, following rising heat,
mending with the ceiling where me and my purpose meet.
Were not visionaries but sight is necessary
run away from yourself,
run away from yourself,
you run pretty fast for a confidence cripple.
And all the pictures are more potent,
than anything you deem important,
climbing up the walls, following rising heat,
mending with the ceiling where me and my purpose meet.
Quote by herby190
When I saw that, I thought of musical notes.... my elementary school teachers taught them as "tee-tees" "ta-tas" and a bunch of other nonsense....
#2
I really enjoyed reading this. It flowed well and I liked the rhyme scheme. It kept it interesting. The only line I didn't like was the "walls fall down...insecure". It's not bad in of itself. I just feel that it trips up the flow. Anyways, I like how all the thoughts seem random, yet it still all ties together. Anyways, nice job, man.

Crit mine please
Bad Kitty