#1
So, my drummer quit the band today. Now, he does have a history of being a bit, whiney I guess. He'll come around again I'm sure, but we have a big gig coming up this Saturday, and we really need him to show up for it. The reason he quit this time was 'cuz our singer/guitarist was, I guess you could say, poking abit of fun at him, in a completely harmless way. Our drummer is really uptight and our singer/guitarist does mess with him alot, just 'cuz he always overeacts. He always comes back again though, so I'm not worried about him being gone. We'd get a new drummer, but he's the only one we can find, and none of us really want to put somebody else in our band, seeing as it's OURS, as in the four of us.

Anyway, as I mentioned earler, we've got a big gig coming up, and we REALLY need our drummer to get back with us, fast. We can still play the gig, without him, I'd just take up drumming duties, and our rhythm guitarist/singer would handle all the guitar parts, but then our show would, well, suck. So we need our drummer back to really play to our full potential. So I ask you pit, how can we persuade our drummer to come back?

TL;DR Drummer's temporarily quit, need to persuade him to come back quickly.
#2
Just tell him that if you miss this gig because of him it would hurt the bands reputation. If he has any concern with coming back he probably wouldnt want that to happen. You cant go out booking shows and then not showing for them. If worse comes to worse I guess you'll have to drum. Tell him if he doesnt get over himself you will find a replacement and just go out and find one. He sounds like he doesnt wanna be in the band if he keeps "quitting" all the time.
#3
You see, right now, 'cuz he's pissed at us, he couldn't give a shit what we do. But when he comes around again, he will do his part. I think he really likes playing IN a band, he just doesn't really know what to do in that band. He's all over the place, he wants to play keyboards, then guitar, then drums, then whatever. And he forces creative input alot, which really annoys me and the bassist, who usually do most of the writing. Obviously him suggesting something is great, I love that, but he really tries to force in it, which is an annoyance. We usually ignore his ideas, no because we have something against him, it's just that they usually don't fit in the song or he's taking it from ANOTHER song, which pisses me off to no end.

Obviously we all kind of want this guy out, but he's the only one who can play drums who's NOT me or the other two guys, so we kind of have to hold on to him for now. But right now I'm just focusing on this gig, and getting him to it, and even a couple of practices if we're lucky.
#4
I suppose you could ask your singer to grow up and stop being an dick to him.

That is, if you want him in the band. In the first post, you say you say "none of us really want to put somebody else in our band, seeing as it's OURS, as in the four of us." But then you completely contradict yourself. "Obviously we all kind of want this guy out."
Quite frankly, if it was me, I'd leave you guys hanging in the breeze. He can sense he's not wanted, so why should he bother helping out a bunch of guys who clearly have no respect for him?
#5
I don't think I really contradicted myself, I think they're both just look at from different views. Yeah it's "OUR" band, he's still a part of, and do we kind of want him out? Yeah, but if he'd get his shit together I'd rather him than anybody else. We have no thoughts of finding another drummer, or should I say, serious thoughts.

Yeah, the singer is being abit of a dick, but he means well. It's a love-hate relationship with those guys really. Our drummer will always come back, trust me, we've gone through this shit before, but we need him NOW to do this gig.

I don't want to try and put all the blame on him, but I think he does bring all of it upon himself. Overreacting, freaking the hell out, saying stupid things. We still try and work with him, and usually we manage to pull through in the end. Also, I think he has the potential to be better, if he can understand his position in the band.

Maybe to shine a more positive light on him, seeing as I've just been ragging on the dude, he can drum. If he really sets his mind to it, and listens to all of us, we can get along and he can do his part. And he's a pretty nice dude, when he's chilled out, and usually pretty open to stuff. HIs actual drumming skills, are pretty average, not that we really need an amazing drummer. I think his playing level suits us pretty well. Although he keeps trying to do other stuff, which is alright if it works, but he does these like 20 second fills that just go completely off time with the song, and is constantly trying to incorporate bland and generic hip hop beats. Not that I have anything against hip hop, it's just not going with our stuff. And I know I'm putting him down again, it's a complicated thing, us and him you know?
#7
Sounds like this band is a victim of whatever social circles you travel in outside of it. Pity you couldn't remove yourselves from them and actually focus on music when in the band.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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#8
Quote by SearchNDestroy
The reason he quit this time was 'cuz our singer/guitarist was, I guess you could say, poking abit of fun at him, in a completely harmless way. Our drummer is really uptight and our singer/guitarist does mess with him alot, just 'cuz he always overeacts.


This is the only problem here, regardless of whether or not he's a good player, the singer should have known when to stop being a twat and just leave him alone. You clearly don't like him or care about him, and you definitely take him for granted, I don't see any reason why he shouldn't just leave you to look like idiots at your gig.
I normally try to give more balanced advice than that but I really can't this time.

Seeing as you need him for your gig, all I can suggest is apologising, then grovelling if that doesn't work, and treat him better in the future.
#9
Look, I know this looks like the singer's fault, and in a way it is, but believe me, he's pulled shit like this before. The singer did try to apologize, but he wouldn't take it. He's mad now, he'll get over, come back. Only problem is we need him NOW.

Maybe an example of what he does would help. This happened last week, and the singer did nothing. So we have this one song, it's great, we've been playing it for a while now, we love it the way it is, other people do. So he says he's been thinking, andit needs something in the middle. So we listen to his idea. He wants us to stop playing, so he can start playing this piano part from some asian pop song. We immediately say no, because he's a drummer, he has to stay with the drums, we like the song the way it is, and this part is from ANOTHER song. So he gets pissed off and says we're jumping to conclusions before hearing what it would sound like. So we go over and play it with this part added in the middle. Does not work out. We politely say no, maybe he can do something like this in another song, 'cuz it's not working in this one. He kicks the drums over, hurls his sticks at us, and walks out saying "you ****ers don't know shit about music." About four days later he comes back saying his sorry, and it's alright if we try something like that in another song. We start rehearsing for this gig, and all is good and fun until our singer says something stupid.

Now we know he'll be back, but we need him to play this gig NOW. So I'm just asking if you think there's anyway we can get him back now.
#10
Quote by AlanHB
Sounds like this band is a victim of whatever social circles you travel in outside of it. Pity you couldn't remove yourselves from them and actually focus on music when in the band.


Oh trust me, when all is going good with the four of us, it's all about the music. It's just when one of us (almost always the drummer) flips out about something, whether it be musical or not, then we spend half our time practicing as a three piece and the other half trying to get whoever's upset either back, or make them happy if they didn't "quit." This does often take away from the time we could be focusing on the music itself.
#11
Quote by SearchNDestroy
Now we know he'll be back, but we need him to play this gig NOW. So I'm just asking if you think there's anyway we can get him back now.


The only way you'll get him back now is by apologising/begging, you can sort out whatever problems you have after the gig.

It does sound like you do have some real problems, the drummer needs to learn how to work better with a band and accept some criticism, and the singer needs to learn that not everyone will find his jokes funny, I used to be a shy and quiet person and I know I would have just left if someone had been taking the mick out of me.
If you're going to be playing together you need to learn what kind of personality each member has, so for your singer and drummer to co-exist they'll need to adapt to each others personalities.

However, I doubt you could fix these problems before Saturday, so you can sort this after the gig, right now you need him back, so either apologise to him or look like idiots by turning up to your gig without a drummer.
Last edited by SilentHeaven109 at Aug 4, 2010,
#12
Our bassist/vocalist went to talk to him, he doesn't seem as mad as he was. He (the drummer) said that he was still upset that the singer/guitarist bothers him, and he also said "his genious is being put to waste." Our singer/guitarist is on vacation today and tomorrow, so our drummer will come and practice with me and our bassist/vocalist to see how things go. This is good 'cuz they won't have to see each other 'til Friday, so hopefully they'll both cool off by then. The drummer's willing to do this gig if he gets a drum solo halfway through the set. This means cutting a song out, but also he'll play the rest of the set. Only problem is he's unsure of our future after this gig. But I'm sure that if we play well at this gig, we'll get offers to do other gigs, which I'm sure he'll be delighted to hear.

We'll try to get our shit together, and hopefully I won't have to come back here again. Thanks for the help
#13
Maybe tell your drummer to stop being such a fucking pussy? Guys rip on each other, thats the world... he needs to grow up and take it like a man and throw it right back.
*Official Deadhead*

The times they are a-changin'
#14
Do you have the same attitude with women? "It's okay to treat them like crap. Sure, they'll walk, but their self-esteem is so low that they'll always come back."

Maybe the drummer finally did "grow a pair" and will decide to let you swing. Every action has a consequence. Maybe your singer - and by extension your band - needs to realize that one way or another.

I take my bands seriously. If I'm getting dumped on, I walk. If I walk, I'm not coming back. I left a band one night about half an hour before a gig. I was given an ultimatum, "it's either the band or that" kind of thing. I grabbed my gear off the stage and f*cked off.

There is no place in any of my bands for that kind of crap.

CT
Could I get some more talent in the monitors, please?

I know it sounds crazy, but try to learn to inhale your voice. www.thebelcantotechnique.com

Chris is the king of relating music things to other objects in real life.
#15
Dude all he said was that there was a little harmless ribbing between friends going on.... if he can't deal with that I'm sorry, he IS a pussy and needs to grow a pair.
*Official Deadhead*

The times they are a-changin'
#16
^ cheers for being an "official" deadhead

anyway, ask ur drummer if he quit for any other reason. i quit 3 bands fairly recently, and i guess it looks like i quit mostly because of tension between me and 1 of the guitarists, but the truth is, even though they wereall great friends of mine, i wasnt having fun with them. i have fun getting things DONE, and they were NOT getting anything done. ask if ur drummer didnt like the type of music u were playing or something like that, itll be easier to solve a problem when u know what the problem is.
#17
Just lay off your drummer man, if he can't take it don't do it. Especially if you want to keep him. Otherewise just deal with it and don't have him in your band which it seems like what you want to do.

You just want to use him for this show. Understandable cause he knows your songs and you want to put on a good show but look at it from his perspective.
#18
Quote by SearchNDestroy
The drummer's willing to do this gig if he gets a drum solo halfway through the set. This means cutting a song out, but also he'll play the rest of the set.


It sounds like you all need to work on focussing on the music, instead of getting a rise out of eachother.

A band environment is like a workplace, if you bag another worker out they'll most likely find another place of employment where they don't get people doing that.
And no, Guitar Hero will not help. Even on expert. Really.
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#19
Dude, my band used to have drummer that was almost EXACTLY the way you describe yours. If there is such a thing as people being a magnet for drama, he was one of them. He loved to start shit too. We put up with this for 2 years.

He had tempo problems, constantly tried to weasel in these gay out of time fills in every song and always wanted his way with everything. This past summer we cut a demo and he "left" the band because his girlfriend was "feeling neglected." We finally get him back, things are okay, we play a really great gig and want to get a little mini tour going with another band around our state. Before we can even get that going he tells us that he has sold his kit to afford a new one and that kit is backorded for THREE MONTHS! He wanted us to wait to play as a full band for three months. It was like WTF? Thats the entire summer months!

He was our friend and all and we'd been together for 2 years and he even named our band, but the rest of my bandmates and I were like, "enough is enough." So we started trying out new drummers. Anyway, we found an awesome drummer who we're really musically in sync with, is a team player and really knows his shit.

Anway, my advice to you is: Sometimes you have to cut dead weight. It wasn't easy to cut our old drummer because he was our friend and he was a "founding" member but it was necessary because we weren't really moving forward with him. We've accomplished more in the short amount of time we've been playing with our new drummer than the entire 2 years with our old one.

It sounds like you're band can't move forward with your drummer either. Even though he's your friend it doesnt mean that you fit musically. I would still play with him, but I would covertly hunt for another drummer to replace him with after you get past this gig.