#1
The way to rule a body of people is to find out their weakness and exploit them. I believe there is a conspiracy to weaken the human race so it can be destroyed in one seemingly innocent event. I believe the FDA, and other world agencies like it, are trying to genetically manipulate the human population to purposefully make us susceptible to deadly allergic reactions. Then the NWO is going to distribute Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and exterminate a majority of the human race. With most of humanity out of the way they will redistribute land and resources to the remaining "super humans" who survived due to their superior genes.
Have you noticed how many kids today have peanut allergies? You can't even send cookies to school with your children for fear of killing a child. It is horrible that a single taste of peanut butter can close off the airway of an innocent child and take his or her life. That is not all; there is a growing number of children with diabetes, wheat gluten allergies and milk allergies. All of which are caused by ingredients contained in, yes, the good old American PB&J. The silent sniper in everyone's kitchen, instant death on a paper plate!
The FDA has approved drugs to save these kid's lives so they can grow into adults and pass on these genes. In a matter of a few generations there will be millions of individuals who can die from a simple PB&J. How ingenious is that plan. No need for Weapons of mass destruction that would render useless land and property for hundreds of years. No need for chemical weapons that could eventually poison the "super humans." Massive world population reduction by the simple and trusted friend we call the PB&J. When the time comes the FDA simply bans the life saving drugs, waits for the supply to run dry, and serves 6 billion PB&Js to hungry world citizens. In a frenzy of gasping, sugar induced convulsions and intestinal distress, the world population is reduced to a manageable size of terrified humans who can then be easily ruled and manipulated the will of the NWO.
This sounds radical but with a few hours of internet browsing, consisting of mostly you-tube videos, I discovered this truth. The statistics are really unimportant and could actually cause people to disbelieve my discovery, so I am not going to share them. Facts and proof will only distract you from the obvious truth that is in front of your eyes. We love PB&Js so much we have a nick name for them. Don't let your love and a serious lack of facts and proof stop you from seeing the danger of the time bomb that is lurking in your cupboard.
Arguing on the Internet is a lot like being in the Special Olympics. Even if you win you're still retarded
#2
This is a joke right? Right?

Dear god I hope so.

"Facts and proof will distract you from the truth" I about peed myself there.
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#4


The haha clap molecule, for short HCl, for you...drink some

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Can make a Heav'n of Hell, a Hell of Heav'n"

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#5
You're just pissed your dog refuses to lick peanut butter off your dick.
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#6
So by your conspiracy theory I'll inherit a load of land and wealth for the simple reason that I'm not allergic to peanuts, wheat, gluten, lactose or anything in peanut butter
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#7
Quote by Jackal58
You're just pissed your dog refuses to lick peanut butter off your dick.


Oh, that's all right.....as long as you still do. LOL
Arguing on the Internet is a lot like being in the Special Olympics. Even if you win you're still retarded
#8
I feel cats and pollen would be much more effective than PB&J
He is useless on top of the ground; he ought to be under it, inspiring the cabbages
#9
the fact that you said that the statistics dont matteris enough to spoil your conspiracy. Plus the fact that its a conspiracy theory
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#10
sweet Im a "super human"
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#11
you know this would be alot funnier if American Dad didn't already do the "peanut butter conspiracy" gag.
#12
Quote by metallicafan616


The haha clap molecule, for short HCl, for you...drink some



Cool read, though.
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#15
Quote by metallicafan616


The haha clap molecule, for short HCl, for you...drink some

I LOVE this post XD
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#16
I thought it wasn't possible to pass a peanut allergy down. Thought it was a recessive trait
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#17
Quote by TheWizard42
I thought it wasn't possible to pass a peanut allergy down. Thought it was a recessive trait

So's being ginger, you can still pass it on though.
The UG Awards exist only to instill me with existential doubt.


For me, the 60's ended that day in 1978...

Willies. Fuck the lick and fuck you too.
#18
Quote by Jackal58
You're just pissed your dog refuses to lick peanut butter off your dick.


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#19
Quote by TheBurningFish
So's being ginger, you can still pass it on though.

Good point. DAMN SOULLESS BASTARDS! Spreading their gingeri....ness.
CAPITALISM
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#20
I really want a peanut butter sandwich now. Curse the lack of legume-infused butter in this home.
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#21
Quote by CoreysMonster
you know this would be alot funnier if American Dad didn't already do the "peanut butter conspiracy" gag.


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