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#1
Thats right, i think this thread can help out all men. I got the idea when i was at a club last week, lets just say my hormones were raging. I was dancing with a girl, backin her junk up on me, and i started to feel myself come alive, you see. But i started thinking of the image of my old boss naked and playing with herself, and to my surprise, it worked! It kept little Crabsoldier at bay until proper conditions.

It happens to all of us. In class, on dates, at parties, hell for no reason at all. Anyway, what are some things you could think of to keep the little man down? Im sure someone can come up with a sure fire 100% fool proof trick.
DECRESCENDO
#2
Your junk is named Crabsoldier?


NexEDIT: Just saw your username, not as funny now.

NexEDIT encore: When Kuntramr the Warrior King wants to take a stand, there is little I can do to sit him down.
Quote by Nomack
Next hendrix is like a a sidesplitting triumph of slapstick and scatology, a runaway moneymaker and budding franchise, the worst thing to happen to Kazakhstan since the Mongol hordes, and, a communist.


This is my sig!
Last edited by Next Hendrix at Aug 4, 2010,
#3
Calling it the "little crabsoldier" makes it sound like you have a std.

Also, I don't keep my "little guy" down, he keeps me down.
#4
people actually name their penises irl? wooow ahaha.

But I know what you mean, I've dont that hundreds of times probably. I'm probably the only one looking foreword to ED when I'm old. Finally that ****er will leave me alone.
#5
"Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!"
Quote by david9d5
You, my friend, win in epic proportions




Quote by sharpshootr55


Man... now I gotta clean my laptop screen.




Quote by ozzyismetal
^That has too much win for me to handle....
I think I need a glass of water and a nap.


#6
Mai-chan's daily life.
For those who know it, every time I remember it I feel like throwing up and crying like a little girl. For those who don't know of it, you're lucky.
Quote by Hal-Sephira

We all have the rights to be mad

So does you
#8

If it doesn't go down in 5 seconds you're gay.
Quote by Pleasure2kill
The truth is, Muslims never apologized for their faith having something to do with the attacks on 9/11.
#11
Quote by damian_91

If it doesn't go down in 5 seconds you're gay.


I'm not gay, but my boner didn't go down!
#12
Quote by severed-metal
I'm not gay, but my boner didn't go down!

We are two


Disregard this post.
Quote by Pleasure2kill
The truth is, Muslims never apologized for their faith having something to do with the attacks on 9/11.
#14
I just think of the Simpsons and all of its ugly characters




Doh! Supid sexy Flanders!
#15
... why were you so determined to get rid of it?
Quote by ChadLikesGuitar
even now, an 8 year old could go download gorilla rape porn and jack off to it.
#16
Quote by Zangetsu 101
"Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day!"


I feel like im the only one who caught your Waynes World reference
#17
Happens to me way too easily on dates. I'm a really sexually-driven guy, so it's common for me to get hard from kissing alone.
#18
Quote by damian_91
We are two


Disregard my raging boner and continue making love to me.


If you say so.
#19
Quote by severed-metal
If you say so.

Quote by Pleasure2kill
The truth is, Muslims never apologized for their faith having something to do with the attacks on 9/11.
#20
What is this? Im hard 24/7




#21
Quote by Mugg74
I feel like im the only one who caught your Waynes World reference



I caught it as well. Wasn't it Austin Powers tho?
Quote by Nomack
Next hendrix is like a a sidesplitting triumph of slapstick and scatology, a runaway moneymaker and budding franchise, the worst thing to happen to Kazakhstan since the Mongol hordes, and, a communist.


This is my sig!
#22
Quote by Mugg74
I feel like im the only one who caught your Waynes World reference

Austin Powers bro, unless it's an 'omage.
You're using UG classic, congratulations.
You should be using UG classic.




E-Married to Guitar0Player

http://the llama forum because its gone forever which sucks and I hate it.
#25
I'm not really into dancing, but I thought if a dude and chick were dancing and grinding on eachother and isht, the girl would WANT to feel your boner?
Quote by Nomack
Next hendrix is like a a sidesplitting triumph of slapstick and scatology, a runaway moneymaker and budding franchise, the worst thing to happen to Kazakhstan since the Mongol hordes, and, a communist.


This is my sig!
#26
Quote by Next Hendrix
I'm not really into dancing, but I thought if a dude and chick were dancing and grinding on eachother and isht, the girl would WANT to feel your boner?

No man, just no. Public.
#27
Quote by Next Hendrix
I'm not really into dancing, but I thought if a dude and chick were dancing and grinding on eachother and isht, the girl would WANT to feel your boner?

That's always been the case when I'm dancing with a gal. Dancing gets me wound up though. I'm usually like, "We're going to have to get to my place or a hotel soon. >_>"
#28
Quote by element4433
What if the way their wieners were positioned they could only pee into each other's mouths?

And one had his finger joined to the other's butthole?

PLAY
UG
MINECRAFT



Or don't. Yeah don't.
#30
Quote by Laird95

Did you know the odds of a Vault-Tec shelter failing are 1,763,497 to 1?

So imagine life in a Vault-Tec Vault. Not just a future.
A brighter future... underground.

Patrolling the Mojave almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.
#31
Quote by Togaskater4life
people actually name their penises irl? wooow ahaha.

But I know what you mean, I've dont that hundreds of times probably. I'm probably the only one looking foreword to ED when I'm old. Finally that ****er will leave me alone.


Yeah man. Mine is called The Octagon. I also nicknamed my testes. The left one is James Westfall, and the right one is Dr. Kenneth Noisewater.

Anyways, the only thing that really works for me is actively focusing on it. When I think about it, it goes down.
He's a freak of nature, but we love him so.

Quote by John Frusciante
Music isn't the Olympics. It's not about showing other people what you can do with a piece of wood in your hands that has strings on, it's about making sounds that are good.
#33
Once you have ****in nasty-bumped with a lady enough, especially under the influence of alcohol, you'll realize it doesn't ****in matter. Chicks know you've got a dick and if they are even considering lickin your sac, they won't care. And if they do care, they weren't gonna get freaky anyway. Plus if THEY'VE done any grindin they'll know that it happens and its not a bad thing. Some sluts even get turned on and start playin with it

Summary: Boners are okay.
Dead soldier! Go now to Valhalla!
Last edited by Gman400 at Aug 4, 2010,
#34
Quote by RU Experienced?
Your grandma owns a bikini?


yep, she always wore it on beach vacations. She's like 82.
Sail upon the open skies
#35
Quote by ThatGuy177

This one always works for me.

She is so unattractive my dick would probably turn into a vagina.
Quote by Tyler Durden
It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.

Erowid
#36
Quote by angusfan16
yep, she always wore it on beach vacations. She's like 82.

I don't think my grandma is aware that anything other than a one piece swimsuit is in existence. Kudos to your granny for keeping up with the times.
#38
the best way to get rid of a boner is to just jizz
Lord Gold feeds from your orifices and he wants to see you sweat.
Lord Gold probes you publicly and makes your pussy wet.
Now say his name.....
#39
Quote by lordofthefood1
the best way to get rid of a boner is to just jizz

#40
Sing the star spangled banner.


Seriously.
I HAVE RETURNED
Twitter
Quote by metalkickTM
migueltherocker: The retarded unicorn-fish of the sea

Quote by ShredHead396



Dude, that was just pure win, i laughed the entire way

first stack ^
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