Basically this is the rough workings of a song. I could only think of one verse, so I just sang it twice LOL.

Any electronic hum you hear is my crappy mic. I try to remove most of it with audacity, but if I remove too much it starts to affect the actual music, so I can only do so much.

Thanks to all of those who listen, and I will respond with my own constructive criticism as soon as I can.

EDIT: The song is in my profile.
I listened to your work in progress... in term of the structure of the song... it is complete... now I think to get it recorded again and add in some other instruments...

the lyrics is ok... Im not too much into the vocal thingy... so I cant say anything about it... this song surely has a great potential to be worked on... well... thats it for now...

have a listen to my latest work if u got any free time... and leave some comment on how should I improve my work...

Its definitely got a good vibe to it, energetic and upbeat sounding. however if you could do another recording with a bit better of an EQ so it doesn't sound so high and almost tinny, that would help as well. And, as mentioned, more instruments would help too. Maybe a simple drum beat in the background, and a simple bass line and it'd be way better and full just with that alone. Definitely got some potential, mang. Keep on working and it'll come together :P

c4c, huzzah, check me out: