#1
The rhythm is quite similar to "Just Like Heaven", as is the melody, hopefully that gives you a decent "image" for this song.


Verse 1:
D G
I thought you’d be the one for me
C G
I thought you’d be the one who’d see
D G C/G
The me that I have tried so hard to be

I thought that you’d be different
I thought that you were heaven sent
I thought you’d put an end to my lament


Chorus:
And once again it’s time for me
To try and make it through this grief
Struggling to find my sweet relief

Gotta change my directon
New object of my affection
Learning how to cope with Rejection


Verse 2:
I guess maybe it’s not so bad
To just go back to what we had
Without you in my life I would go mad

The next one might be different
The next one might be heaven sent
Setting myself up for disappointment


I will definitely C4C, please post the link though, it'll make it easier for us both

EDIT: For some reason, it bunched the chords together instead of having them spread out to show the timing like tabs
Last edited by chriscobonham at Aug 5, 2010,
#2
For the most part I did like it, but the rhyming seemed a bit too forced and slightly bland. By bland, I mean that they were all sequenced with the same amount of syllables for each rhyme. Possibly too many rhymes for my taste, but if that's your style, then I stand corrected. Hope I helped.

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1345576

https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1317603

A couple of my works in progress
#3
Yeah, I do tend to force rhymes, and I'm OCD about syllables. I guess it is my "style" but it definitely tends to restrict my lyrical capabilities.
#4
And once again it’s time for me
To try and make it through this grief

i can actually relate to these lines in a different way. the song is good and for the rhyming part you can use words that go "in rythme" with one another which act as rhyming words but dont actually rhyme!? i guess im not making sense so just get this, its good and you've got some nice lyrics there
#5
I'm glad to know that my lyrics are relatable, haha. I'll try to get over my "fear" of not having every line rhyme, hopefully that will free me up a bit. Does anyone have any ideas for a title for this piece?
#6
I can totally relate to verse 2 n yeah if u can get over your "fear" of not rhymin it wud be so much better n maybe throw in a little more imagination?otherwise nice concept As for the title i dont think i can be much help but how bout 'lovin you' or 'not you'?

P.S. u r not alone neither in yr feelings nor bout havin 2 rhyme everything m also a rhyme fanatic most times at d cost of my song/poem....