#1
I'm really struggling with lyrics for this song. Titled, "Tonight we die Alone". My inspiration came from my best coming out of a long term relationship that was in true Love, and if it wasnt love doesnt exist.

I want to make it sound really authentic. The Vibe I wanted to get across was how this relationship had come to an end and it had affected them both more than say, the world or them both dying.

I dont want cheesey lyrics. Its kind of an A7X style, Afterlife mixed in with Danger line, a dash of nightmare., Sprinkled with a touch of waking the fallen.

I've uploaded the song below, I want the lyrics to start with the verse, which is after the first set of Dueling guitars.

and this is my first ever genuine song that I've put my heart and soul into.

Basicly, if anyone can give me a starting point I'll be very greatful Thanks
Attachments:
Tonight_we_die_Alone.mid
SUCK ME OFF
Last edited by I_AM_MEAT at Aug 6, 2010,
#2
Tonight we die alone.
Tomorrow we'll get past our moans.

What you wanna do is get the Title and break it down. So you have Tonight Die and Alone...three strong words. Very strong. So what you can do is gather rhymes for each of these words. List them on a text doc and bold it and underline it or something similar.

Tonight

Die

Alone

You might find some interesting rhymes doing it this way. Its called a worksheet and I learned it in a lyric class I took.

Hope that starts you off.
#3
Awesome song. As a struggling songwriter I have to say what works best for me is to just make up words as I play the music. you should record yourself doing that and then you should be able to find a few usable lines. Then try it again and work those lines into it.
#4
I have to say, I listened to it about 8 or 9 times... and I wanna listen to it again. It really is very good...
While listening to it I started jotting down some lyrics that I thought maybe you could work off of... There was a certain part that I thought was maybe the chorus that really caught my attention and I think these might go in there alright...

Tonight we die alone
Our love is now forsaken
Your arms were once my home
This love is dead forever more

for the last line I was also thinking 'Our hearts are gone forever more' but I dunno...

I was gonna try and attach me singing that part so you could get a better idea of where i mean, but I don't have the right file formatting... cause this doesn't support .wma or MP3 formatted attachments...

Anywayz, I hope these alone help...
Catch Ya Round
#5
If you want sophisticated lyrics, avoid pure rhymes. Pure rhymes are for happy songs, usually the kind my parents listen to or Justin Bieber sings.
Try near-rhymes, such as home/hone, nation/aging, undone/London, all my best/a quest...for.
Harder than it looks but most mature songs out there use this.