#1
So I just got called 3 times today by the same bank trying to offer me a 25.000 euro loan that I never applied for.

I told them that I wasn't interested when they first called, that I had no need for a loan, but the same company called 1.5 hours later with the same offer; and I just checked my phone, and they called me again. Obviously, these guys won't take no for an answer.

any suggestions on what to tell these guys the next time they call and try to push a humongous loan that I don't want on me?
#3
Surprise them with phone sex.


Serious answer: Don't return the calls?
Sail upon the open skies
#4
Act like it's the lottery and keep saying "and I never have to pay it back, right?"

Then say "I am so glad you are offering me this, I've been credit blacklisted so can't get money any other way!"

They'll stop phoning
#5
Quote by angusfan16
Surprise them with phone sex.


This.
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#6
Ask if you can pay it back in baggies full of cum. They'll probably decline so won't be able to come to a deal that suits both parties and even if they don't you get 25 grand and they get a lot of messy envelopes. The only victim is the post man, but who actually gives a shit about him?
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#7
Tell them you'll use the money to construct a cannon, then ask them their office hours.

Quote by Karl Pilkington
Jellyfish are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful."
#8
It's probably a scam
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#10
Sounds like it's not a real bank. Inform the bank the claim to represent and if you are continued to be harassed inform the authorities. Also, make sure to rehears snappy responses for when they next call.
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#11
I say phoneprank the hell out of them with some kind of soundboard. If Duke Nukem told me to eat shit and die I wouldn't call back.
#12
Ask them what they have on. It works..
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#13
I was thinking of training a duck from the nearby pond to quack on command, so that the next time these turdbuckets call, they'd be talking to a duck yelling at them about not having enough worms to eat.
#14
If you do any of these things, PLEASE record the call.
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#15
Quote by CoreysMonster
I was thinking of training a duck from the nearby pond to quack on command, so that the next time these turdbuckets call, they'd be talking to a duck yelling at them about not having enough worms to eat.



Preposterous. How on earth do you expect it to hold the phone?

Quote by Karl Pilkington
Jellyfish are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful."
#16
Tell them you're black.
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#18
Leave an extremely long message on your answering machine, then don't pick up next time they call you.
#19
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
Then say "I am so glad you are offering me this, I've been credit blacklisted so can't get money any other way!"

They'll stop phoning


Won't be the case if it's the Citi Group haha - financial crisis ftw xD
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#20
Here, I'll tell you guys a familiy secret. Whenever the bank calls, and wants you to do shit, don't answer the phone.
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#21
Quote by UltimaWeapon
Won't be the case if it's the Citi Group haha - financial crisis ftw xD



epic win! just so you know, it's those idiots from Bon Kredit that've been spam calling me the whole time. I don't know if they're just a Hessen thing, or if they're all over germany, but they've gone from email spamming to phone spamming now.
Last edited by CoreysMonster at Aug 6, 2010,
#23
If they call again, answer the phone and start to sing Never Gonna Give You Up.
#24
Quote by CoreysMonster


epic win! just so you know, it's those idiots from Bon Kredit that've been spam calling me the whole time. I don't know if they're just a Hessen thing, or if they're all over germany, but they've gone from email spamming to phone spamming now.

Put them on hold, and remind them their call is important to you.
#25
Quote by MightyAl
Put them on hold, and remind them their call is important to you.

I just might do that.

"such a large credit?! Awesome! I-- oh hang on, I got something on the stove, I'll be back in a minute!"

then leave, but come back like 2 hours later and see if they're still there
#26
Quote by CoreysMonster
I just might do that.

"such a large credit?! Awesome! I-- oh hang on, I got something on the stove, I'll be back in a minute!"

then leave, but come back like 2 hours later and see if they're still there

Leave The Four Seasons on a loop.
#27
Quote by CoreysMonster
I just might do that.

"such a large credit?! Awesome! I-- oh hang on, I got something on the stove, I'll be back in a minute!"

then leave, but come back like 2 hours later and see if they're still there


If I was doing mindless telesales and someone left their phone on, giving me an excuse to just sit there and maybe occasionally pretend to be talking when the boss comes over I know I'd do it
#28
Quote by Mistress_Ibanez
If I was doing mindless telesales and someone left their phone on, giving me an excuse to just sit there and maybe occasionally pretend to be talking when the boss comes over I know I'd do it

hell, I've worked in that business, and I sure as hell know I would

in fact, some company policies say that you are not allowed to hang up on customers, so I'd be doing the poor souls a favor just leaving them alone
#29
Quote by angusfan16
Surprise them with phone sex.


Serious answer: Don't return the calls?

forget the second half. i say surprise phone sex is the best serious answer there could be.
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#30
Use the money to buy a missile silo.
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