#1
A little background:

Myself (guitar), two of my close friends (bass and drums), and a rhythm guitarist that I didn't know too well formed a band for a school talent show awhile ago. We were looking for a singer, so we picked up a "new guy" - a friend of my bassist's that he knew from our high school's theater department. After playing the talent show, we decided to become a full-time band and ditched the freshman rhythm guitarist because he could never make it to rehearsals. At first we took the direction of a jam band but recently decided to start recording some of our stuff.

The new guy brought his $3k PRS guitar to the first day of rehearsal, and, without a word, started trying to weasel his way into the role of lead guitarist. He pried direction of the band from me and my bandmates, and began to demand that our jam band record note-for-note covers of some of his favorite songs. He got us to agree to "Pinball Wizard", and we had our first rehearsal while our drummer was out of town. That night we were at the new guy's house, and he spent the entire time that we were there glorifying his multi-million dollar guitar rig and criticizing my acoustic guitar technique while pitching low-shots and veiled insults at me under his breath so that the bassist woudln't hear. The night ended with him literally escorting me to the door, apparently for fear that I'd somehow manage to steal some of his dad's precious equipment out from under his nose.

A few days ago, we had another rehearsal, this time with the drummer at his house. The new guy showed up, put down his equipment, then realized that he couldn't find his mic. As he walked out the door to look for it in the street where he'd unloaded his gear from the car that dropped him off, he said aloud "Fine, I'll go look for it, since I'm the best thing that ever happened to this band." Our drummer wasn't in the room, but the bassist and I heard it and we weren't surprised when the new guy came back with the mic, and, seeing the looks on our faces, tried to pass it off as a "joke." The rest of us decided to let it slide and we turned on the mic and began to play. About half way through the song, the new guy lost his place and missed about three lines of lyrics, but kept it rolling and picked back up a few lines later. That didn't bother me at all.

After the key change towards the end of the song, the bassist cued him in and he started singing, but despite the printed lyrics in front of him, screwed up the first line of the last verse, then tried to repeat it two or three times, causing the rest of the band to lose our places and the entire song to fall apart. Three of us stopped, but he kept singing and I had to stand up to catch his attention and get him to stop. I calmly explained to him that when he makes a mistake, he can't pick up the same line again and again and expect the band to realize what he's trying to do and repeat that part of the song. At first he didn't acknowledge his mistake, but after I tried to explain the situation again, he lost his cool and screamed "BUT I FIXED IT" with all the awkward rage of an angry 14 year old kid. At this point, I dropped the whole calm, understanding thing, told him to calm the **** down, and, when he opened his mouth again, looked him dead in the eye and said "don't you dare yell at me, kid." That shut him up pretty well, after which we both apologized and he decided to take a "break" and abscond with some soda from the drummer's refrigerator. The drummer compared the general atmosphere at that point to the band equivalent of "daddy hitting mommy in the kitchen", and when the new guy came back from his break, he finished the night with a compete and total lack of enthusiasm.

After rehearsal, I called the bassist and drummer up, and we agreed that we should sit the new guy down as soon as he walks through the door at our next rehearsal and explain that what happened last time can't happen again. We plan to set some terms, make them clear, and, if he doesn't agree to them, for the drummer to tell him to get the hell out of his house. What do you think?
#2
id just kick him out, if its not working out early then its not gonna get better with him
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#3
i think you're dealing with a hot headed kid thats going to keep on doing it no matter what. seems to me like he wants to be the center of attention, and thinks he's the best guitarist to ever walk the planet.

i say give him one more shot if you guys want, or until you find a replacement. but do seriously look for one. eventually, you will be put in a similar, or much worse situation (happened to me at a gig before where a singer/guitarist walked off stage on the second song of 10 and we were stuck without him for the remainder of the set). shit will go down when you're dealing with somebody of that nature. try and find another musician that has equal values, same mindset toward the band, and that you get along with. even if they aren't the best musician, they'll very quickly learn the style for your band and be good enough to play with you guys.

in my opinion, there's no use in keeping this guy around. take it from me, having a guy walk off stage isn't worth his hurt feelings.
#4
Sounds like the guy has a huge ego without the skills to back it up, isn't a team player, is unwilling to compromise, has a short temper and doesn't take criticism well. Sure, he may have some nice equipment, but that doesn't mean jack if he's not a good musician, or even worse, not a good bandmate. You can give him one more shot if you want, but it sounds like this guy will disappoint you one way or another, whether it's now or down the road. I'd start looking for a replacement if I was you.
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Last edited by Mephysteaux at Aug 6, 2010,
#5
The guy sounds like an asshole. You don't need someone like that around, there will always be an atmosphere.
#6
Quote by RoflCopter Ace
After rehearsal, I called the bassist and drummer up, and we agreed that we should sit the new guy down as soon as he walks through the door at our next rehearsal and explain that what happened last time can't happen again. We plan to set some terms, make them clear, and, if he doesn't agree to them, for the drummer to tell him to get the hell out of his house. What do you think?


You just /thread your own thread

It does sound like he has an ego problem, and think's he's better than he is, and insulting your bandmates is a big no-no, these issues you will need to talk to him about, just make sure you do it in a calm, mature way.
That is if you want to keep him around, someone like this will probably not change anytime soon.

One small thing for you, though, don't be negatively pre-disposed to someone just because of their equipment, you know that if you could own a $3000 guitar then you would, and he's protective of it because it costs that much and he didn't know you guys all that well.
Also, everyone makes mistakes sometimes, which would be forgiveable if it weren't for his attitude.
#7
I've worked with a few guys like this before. GET HIM GONE!!

He'll just try to change you as a mucisian and may eventually turn your friends against each other. Singers are important, so you don't want to be stuck with a guy who can sing, but has no band-member skills. You also don't want your diredtion dictated by the new guy. Stregthen your relationship with the core band guys and make the singer adhere to your way or leave.

And he's the bass players friend? Well if the bass player has a problem with it, he can be replaced pretty easily too
#8
Thanks to everyone for the quick replies. This is all solid advice, and it's gonna help me and my bandmates while we piece together what we're going to say to the new guy tonight.

Quote by SilentHeaven109

One small thing for you, though, don't be negatively pre-disposed to someone just because of their equipment, you know that if you could own a $3000 guitar then you would, and he's protective of it because it costs that much and he didn't know you guys all that well.
Also, everyone makes mistakes sometimes, which would be forgiveable if it weren't for his attitude.

Thanks for calling me on that. I catch myself judging people based on how they show their money too often, and it worries me.

What I forgot to say in the OP, though, is that when he showed up for our first rehearsal after i bought the mic, he remembered to bring all that guitar equipment but "forgot" his vocal mic at home. I think we were all pretty upset that he would bring all that gear without even discussing whether or not he would play guitar with the band.

Another thing that contributes to band tension here is the fact that I'm close friends with the bassist and the drummer, and the three of us are all high school graduates now, while I don't know the new guy that well and he just finished his sophomore year of high school. I never really appreciated rivalry between grade levels when I was in high school but the fact that one of the founding principles of our band was equality among members and he abused that pisses me off. We offered him a chance to have as much of a say in band decisions as we did even though we were older and ostensibly more mature than him, but that wasn't enough for the guy.

I'm starting to lean towards kicking him out, too. The one point all of you seemed to share was that this guy's attitude isn't going to change as time goes on, and if it does it probably won't be for the better.
#9
One additional piece of advice: when (and it looks like it's probably going to be "when" and not "if") you give this guy the boot, stand by your decision.

If he's anything like the psychotic, volatile prima-donna bandmate I put up with for two years, it's possible he may beg to be let back in, own up to his behavior, apologize profusely and promise that he'll stop being an asshole.

Don't fall for it. It sounds like the same kind of BS that abusive or toxic husbands sometimes spout when the abused wife tries to leave ("I've changed this time/I promise no more").
Last edited by drumwolf at Aug 6, 2010,
#10
If he s like that in the beginning just kick him out dude.
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#12
I'd go with the crowd who have already said, ditch him.

He sounds like an egotistical spoilt brat....not cool, and not necessarily conducive to creating what you guys seem to want to create.

Sounds like a bit of a headcase.