#1
Has that name already been used? All my song-names seem to have been used somewhere...
Anyway, this is part 2 of what I guess you can call a "concept setlist" I'd call it a concept album but I probably won't get it recorded, so for now its just a setlist.
I'm posting these lyrics here looking for criticism, please be as harshly honest with me as you need to be, I'm serious about improving my writing.

Not even trying to survive
I don't even know a life
Its only a meaning given to a memory
I've been handed my ace
All that's left is a face
And a name
What's my name?

And I may not recognize you
But don't feel unique
I don't even know myself anymore
And I don't know where I'll sleep tonight
But I know who I'll be
Tomorrow

And I don't have to see
What is the meaning
Your goal is not mine
I'm only looking for the thrill

Its not my place to ask
But I don't know any better
Who inherited that flask?
Maybe then I'll remember

And I don't have to see
What is the meaning
Your goal is not mine
I'm only looking
I'm only looking
For that chill...

And then there's a pretty long instrumental passage that I'm still working on, it'll probably end up mostly improv. Does anybody like it?
#2
is a song even meant to rhyme? especially if you dont even have music with it since thats wat i do, look for rhymes!! i guess it all depends on the music in your case, i like the concept. i just love these lines

I don't even know myself anymore
And I don't know where I'll sleep tonight
But I know who I'll be
Tomorrow

although i would suggest to flip the first two lines of verse1 and make it like

I don't even know a life
Not even trying to survive

well in the end it all depends on the music since thats wats gonna make your lyrics look fancier or something otherwise the words are great!!
#3
Quote by leafwhisperer
is a song even meant to rhyme? especially if you dont even have music with it since thats wat i do, look for rhymes!! i guess it all depends on the music in your case, i like the concept. i just love these lines

I don't even know myself anymore
And I don't know where I'll sleep tonight
But I know who I'll be
Tomorrow

although i would suggest to flip the first two lines of verse1 and make it like

I don't even know a life
Not even trying to survive

well in the end it all depends on the music since thats wats gonna make your lyrics look fancier or something otherwise the words are great!!

Thanks! This song is supposed to be written from the perspective of someone who lost his memory, I think after you know that, when you re-read it it looks pretty obvious haha. Those fist two lines were like that for a reason, like "I'm not gonna try to survive, because I don't even know what my life is like and if its worth it" because the character lost his memory. This song isn't really meant to rhyme for the most part but there are a few parts that do, or almost do, for the purpose of that section's meaning.