#1
Here's something I wrote at about midnight last night. I envision it as a acoustic, maybe Bright Eyes-ish song. Any crits would be greatly appreciated

I wrote you this song to ask you something.
It's the only thing left inside me.
So I'll let it out,
And you'll soon figure out

That you're all I think about.

I'd catch a train headed west.
To see if you remember my name.
I'd cut all ties;
I'd start a new life.

But would you do the same?

A lifetime spent together.
We could live in the mountains.
Never come down;
The only sound. would be...

"I'll love you forever".

Or spend it all with toes in the sand
All that matters is we are hand in hand.
Count the stars;
Reflected in your eyes.

We wouldn't need the sky.

Push our ship out to sea.
No need to even steer.
Just let the tides;
Pull us aside.

And wash you into my arms.

I would give up my life.
To be by your side.
To be there when you cried.
To never say "goodbye".

Now this is said,
The only thing left is...

Would you do the same?
MIM Tele
Fender Blues Jr NOS
Schecter Omen 6
Squier Strat
Greg Bennett Acoustic
other crap...
If seeing is believing...

...Then believe that we have lost our eyes!!
#3
Quote by BloodCold
cliche and gooood! so no crit from me! it is really good

C4C
https://www.ultimate-guitar.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1347853

thx man. Sure ill crit it.

Edit: can't crit it, its closed. send me another link, or i can PM you
MIM Tele
Fender Blues Jr NOS
Schecter Omen 6
Squier Strat
Greg Bennett Acoustic
other crap...
If seeing is believing...

...Then believe that we have lost our eyes!!
Last edited by Clutch32192 at Aug 10, 2010,