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#1
Ever since I graduated high school a couple months ago, I've been reflecting on some of the funnier aspects of the experience and I definitely think some of the characters we had as subs were up there.

At my school, we had a creepy old guy who did crossword puzzles until he was sleeping sitting up at the teacher's desk. And this short old bitch who would always try to find an excuse to talk about her Europe trips, or this fat lady with a horrible jet-blck perm who always told us stories about her cat, Macho Man.

So Pit, did you have any crazy substitute teachers when you were in high school?
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#2
Absolutely none, they were all pretty normal, must have been something with your school TS.
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#3
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or this fat lady with a horrible jet-blck perm who always told us stories about her cat, Macho Man.
I never had a substitute teacher like that. I'm actually envious.

Not so crazy, but I had an African-sounding male Graphic Design substitute teacher once that couldn't pronounce "brochure". Took as a long time to realise he was referring to a "leaflet".
#5
Last year I had a teacher fresh outta college and her boobs were uneven and it was very noticable

My whole class was trying not to laugh.
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#6
Half my class drove one sub crazy by acting like they all had mental handicaps.

Must admit, twas fucking hilarious.
#7
Some substitute caught a kid on his phone and said turn off his Blueberry, it was pretty funny at the time.
#9
I have an economics teacher who is from Ethiopia. His English is fine (he has his CPE) but since I live in Holland, I'm screwed
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#10
we had a teacher who used to give out tictacs (sweets) for correct answers, he would always say that he only gave out the tics as the tacs were made of metal and would hurt us

punny guy
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#11
We once had an old woman who was entirely insane. She told one guy he was going to Hell and bashed on non Christians and Muslims. She was extremely racist and made some very offensive comments. She was crazy in general. All this was over two or three subbing days.

After she told the guy he was going to Hell, we started messing with her. We told her we all wanted to be drug dealers when we got out of high school and she believed us. We were total dicks to her but she deserved it. She was eventually barred from subbing at my school for a year or two.

And there were always the teachers who didn't believe anything we said. They always assumed that just because we were high schoolers, we were all bad.

I don't miss high school at all.
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#12
We had one who frequented my high school whom I could not stand. She had painted on eyebrows and fried-beyond-repair hair, so I always thought of her as a witch. She used to try to run students down in her car in the parking lot.

Nowadays, she's a librarian at the only public library in town and still pretty much has that same attitude. She told me to leave the library once, after I asked her why she was staring at me.

edit: We also had a guy who thought he was the coolest thing in the world, since he "jammed with Neil Schon back in the 80s."
Last edited by -[NiL]- at Aug 9, 2010,
#13
I once had a 20 year old sub in gym, she was smoking hot and was only 2 and even 1 year older than most of us. Needless to say, there was alot of flirting.
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#14
All of our subs were fairly nice, but we used to screw with em like crazy. When they did roll call, we'd switch names with each other. And we'd convince them that it was study hall time. The best times were when it happened in German class, because the subs never spoke a word of German, so it WAS study hall. Then, I'd take a clipboard and fling pencils around the classroom like I usually did.
#15
I hate to sound racist, but all of the black teachers we had were hilarious, if not useless. Most of them were recent African immigrants who didn't have a fantastic grasp of the English language or education system.
#16
Quote by Gord@k
I once had a 20 year old sub in gym, she was smoking hot and was only 2 and even 1 year older than most of us. Needless to say, there was alot of flirting.

A senior girl whom I once tutored my sophomore year came back as a substitute my senior year. I always found that pretty amusing.
#17
We had this old woman who was starting to go deaf. So EVERYONE in the class went "Bzzzzzzzzzzzz" and this was before anyone knew what a vuvezela was! Since we could all do it whilst remaining looking normal, it was sucessful. She kept saying "Can you hear that buzzing noise?" and one people would say "no?".

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#19
I had one that always let me get away with murder. Some friends and I tracked down where he lived and showed up at midnight to harass him. He let us all in, and we called a ton of people and threw a non-alcoholic party at his house. He even ordered us pizzas. I eventually tricked him into giving me his cell phone number. The other day a buddy of mine and I hung out with him and went to the bar. I love that guy.

Then after the bar cut us off, we went back to his house and I drank his bottle of absolut. Very nice guy.
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#20
We had one ANCIENT sub lady. She was half black and half white, and so we liked to mess with her and ask her every time she subbed, "Mrs. Shandy, what ARE you o.o?!" and make horrified/scared faces xD.

She said "If you got a speck of black in you, you black!"

One student brought a travel card with him to hawaii, and it had some beach bunnies and dudes on the cover and she took it up, saying "Is this what you kids look at these days?!"
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#21
It wasn't a sub, but we had a student teacher once who had been in a porno, it spread round the whole school and soon there was no-one in the place who hadn't seen the thing. She sorta disappeared pretty soon after it got out. Absolutely priceless though.
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#22
I had one sub who said he had a second chance from the devil. He said he died back in '92 or something, then went to heaven, pissed off god, got sent to hell, and then the devil returned him to earth. Keep in mind I was in grade 6.
#24
We've got this guy called Mr. Burn.
Most people think he's crazy but I actually like him.
They made me do push ups in drag

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#25
Quote by andrewjp123
I had one sub who said he had a second chance from the devil. He said he died back in '92 or something, then went to heaven, pissed off god, got sent to hell, and then the devil returned him to earth. Keep in mind I was in grade 6.

totally scaring kids w/ that thanks!!

we just had a lesbian pe teacher, that's about it.

and one sub who refused to turn off lights. Apparently it gave him flashbacks to nam
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#26
I had one that appeared randomly all throughout my high school career. Her name was Ms. Kittypoo and she wore all purple all the time. Never knew what she was teaching about but she was always cool with the students
#27
I have to I can think of right now.

First, MS. Eubanks. She basically spends most of class insulting the work we were left to do and throws random insults at kids for humorous purposes. She's amazingly funny and the only kids that don't like her are the ones that don't understand her sense of humor.

Second, Mr. Micheals. He's probably about 6'7 or so and drives a really small car. He remembers everybody's. Even if you've never talked to him before he knows your name. He's really cool though. Once in my class he stood up and hit his head of a projector hanging from the ceiling and it was probably the funniest thing I can ever remember happening at school.
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#28
I had this teacher that was crazy about rock.. Long green mohawked hair, he taught us with an ipod earphone in his ear, and he would teach for about 5 minutes and spend the next 50 minutes talking about how much he likes slipknot.. He was awesome I think he got fired though.
#29
I had one who never told us his name and we only knew him as "The Colonel". He called us all jabronies and told us stories about his time in 'Nam. He died of lung cancer last year He was fucking awesome.

I had one in my German class two years ago that sat in the back with a friend and I and sang Flight of the Conchords song with us. He couldn't have been older than 25. Next time I saw him he was doing a line of blow out back of where I worked

One time my best friend's brother subbed for him and I and some kid was talking to my bro and said a "yo momma" joke and his brother goes up to the kid and just knocks his text book of the deal and walks away. Quite possibly the funniest thing of that year.
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#30
We had one teacher who told some students very detailed stories of her sex life, including one story about anal. She got fired pretty soon after.
#32
When i was in 1st year, our substitute for music ending up calling our class "a shower of ****ing bastards" cause we didn't believe that he was Bob Dylan's love child and that we took the absolute piss out of him . Needless to say we never saw him again

The only other 2 substitutes that i remember was this one guy who took our English class for a week and spent one class reading through a Playboy mag, and one substitute that was unbelievably hot. Think nearly every guy in the school hit on her at some stage
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#33
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It wasn't a sub, but we had a student teacher once who had been in a porno, it spread round the whole school and soon there was no-one in the place who hadn't seen the thing. She sorta disappeared pretty soon after it got out. Absolutely priceless though.

Do you happen to know if it was a decent porno, or just the usual grainy, out-of-focus home effort?
#34
I had a sub once who beat up a student. Student sort of deserved it though.

The sub was a small, white, sort of nerdy looking guy (picture him as the guy from Bechwarmers who was afraid of the sun). One of the students kept making fun of him, calling him a homosexual, knocking his stuff all over the floor, threatening to beat his "wimpy white ass", etc. He was harassed the entire class period pretty much. So, towards the end of the class the student and the sub started to get into an argument and the student ended up punching the sub in the face. Suddenly, the sub just went fucking bananas. He started screaming, and then punched the kid in the face repeatedly. The student started yelling and tried to get away, but the sub kept coming after him. We eventually got a hold of him and settled him down in his chair and then he started to cry. The student was off in a corner somewhere trying to stop his face from bleeding all over the floor and then the school's rent-a-cop came in, handcuffed the sub and took him away.

It was so sad though, because the sub would just sit there and take all of the insults. He would hang his head, would sort of start to cry and look just flat out depressed. I felt so happy when he socked that asshole in the face. Kid deserved it.
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#35
Quote by angusfan16
I had a sub once who beat up a student. Student sort of deserved it though.

The sub was a small, white, sort of nerdy looking guy (picture him as the guy from Bechwarmers who was afraid of the sun). One of the students kept making fun of him, calling him a homosexual, knocking his stuff all over the floor, threatening to beat his "wimpy white ass", etc. He was harassed the entire class period pretty much. So, towards the end of the class the student and the sub started to get into an argument and the student ended up punching the sub in the face. Suddenly, the sub just went fucking bananas. He started screaming, and then punched the kid in the face repeatedly. The student started yelling and tried to get away, but the sub kept coming after him. We eventually got a hold of him and settled him down in his chair and then he started to cry. The student was off in a corner somewhere trying to stop his face from bleeding all over the floor and then the school's rent-a-cop came in, handcuffed the sub and took him away.

It was so sad though, because the sub would just sit there and take all of the insults. He would hang his head, would sort of start to cry and look just flat out depressed. I felt so happy when he socked that asshole in the face. Kid deserved it.


That teacher is a hero, i hope he got away.
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#36
There was a guy that couldn't pronounce Massachusetts.

He said "Mah-suh-TOO-sus!"

Or there was the sub that I told I was a Nazi. I said something about Jews and she asked what I meant and I said I hate them all.

...for the record I don't, but I figured that would be a pretty good way to completely destroy that person's day of subbing!
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#37
Mrs. Calhoun. An old lady with a soft voice and big hair who stalks me and my friends at school. Oh yeah, she's a sub, too.
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#38
Mr. Mann is a legend in our school, he barely says a word, he lets you get away with anything, his head doesn't move when he walks, and best of all if you ask his first name he'll say stuff like Hugh or Space
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#39
not really a weird substitute, but we had one where after every sentence we spoke to her we would end it with debbie. she was really confused cuz her name wasnt debbie
#40
We had a pair of twins that worked in our school. One was a sub and one was a music teacher. One guy got to be pretty good friends with her and they hung out a lot. He was 16 or 17, she like 24 maybe.

Jump four years to now.


They're married. She married one of her students.
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